Sad: Stab and The Inertia tussle!

Nothing makes me sadder than a lovers' quarrel. But is there hope for these two?

I really hate lovers’ quarrels and it is probably because, at heart, I am a romantic. A believer that there is a one for each of us and when you find it is most important to never let go. Never ever ever. Romeo and Juliet exemplify this singular passion. So do Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, Chris Martin and Gwen Paltrow, Stab and The Inertia.

Yes Stab and The Inertia are a perfect match example to us all, cohabitating in Venice-adjacent. Sharing 2 foot closeouts and crispy shallots, writing about surf and the surf world from uniquely clichéd perspectives, holding hands in the pale moonlight.

Three days ago they together shared a story and what should have been a coming out party somehow turned sour. The piece was a brilliant expose on how dolphins and humans are the same. Of course there was no scientific evidence to back up the claim but who cares? A. Science is for non-lovers and B. Dolphins totally are like surfers.

Stab even put a completely The Inertia-like disclaimer on the end of the story:

Here at Stab—a magazine that often allows Morgan Williamson to write as if English is his second language—we’ve typically taken a (somewhat) firm stance on putting down competitors. However, the effort Mr Buckley put into making the point that (almost) anyone can write articles and have them published in surf media in 2017 is admirable and deserves its time in bright lights, slowly sliding down the feed.

And The Inertia should have jumped up and down clapping its very tiny hands.

But for some reason it did not.

Founder-and-Chief Zach Weisberg took to the internet and wrote from the heart about how he did not like surfers and dolphins being compared and added:

I’d also like to thank you for reminding me of who we are, and what we strive for The Inertia to represent. Or better yet, what we don’t represent. We are not the guys snickering in the back corner of the bus pointing and laughing and high-fiving at other’s expense. That will never be us. You’re more than welcome to race the others to the bottom to own that space. I was taught at a very early age that it’s not fulfilling to shit on other people for your own amusement. We’ve watched others do that for years. We’ve watched people who were once very close to you do that to you. We’ve watched you call that behavior pathetic. You’re right. It is.

I think the “people who were once very close to you do that to you. We’ve watched you call that behavior pathetic. You’re right. It is.” means BeachGrit and this brings me the truest joy because I know at the end, Stab and The Inertia will apologize to each other for harsh words and go out somewhere on Lincoln blvd. for more dishes featuring crispy shallots.

And afterward? Well. Make up sex is the best of all or so they say.

So let me be the first to toast… The Inertia and Stab. In good times and bad, sickness and health. You are each other’s one!