The official beer of the WSL gets reviewed!
There is finnnnnnnnally surf in southern California and it has basically been 876 days since the last swell. Panic is in the air as grown men stumble over their children and grown women accidentally kick their dogs as they rush out the door shouting, “Wait! Do I use warm water or cool water wax?”
I didn’t know either so I logged on to Surfline to check water temperature but got distracted by the website being wrapped, top to bottom, with Michelob Ultra branding. The beer of the bourgeoisie.
Beergeoisie.
And many videos feat. Seabass Zietz all with less than 500 views. Would you like to watch one?
A bald-faced attempt to appeal to The People™ if I’ve ever seen one. Parents not making enough money, boy orphaned, getting kicked while down, getting shouted at, whilst in tube, by a beyond ecstatic Pete Mel… etc.
A tough looking life but let’s be honest. Let’s be real honest. The Garden Isle is a land of endless bounty and Seabass Zietz lives a life of eternal privilege.
But maybe I’ve been too hard on Michelob Ultra. Maybe it really is a beer of the people too. So let’s watch the people drink and review.
I guess I’ve been too hard.
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Low calorie beer!? FUCK OFF YOU LAND OF CHEETO DISGRACES. Just get a bigger board and enjoy a proper pint.
The people drink PBR. It’s $7.99 a 12 pack at your local Circle K and it’s a glorious rectangle of patriotic intoxication. It’s red white and blue, and it will fuck you up too.
Kauai- sp
Michelob Ultra is produced by Anheuser-Busch, which is an absolutely colossal corporation. A-B owns almost every beer anyone ever drinks in the USA, including Corona, which is probably why it’s OK for both beers to be associated with the CT. In a way it seems foolish even to distinguish between all their brands.
He came to a super local Westside spot two summers ago with his film crew. It was the best I have ever seen it in 8 years of living here. They got footage but I heard Vaughn told them don’t show that to anyone or there will be hell to pay. If you see perfect 6 foot Hanalei in one of his videos it might be an illusion.
Why do Americans love watery piss for beer?
Beer dorks. Possibly more boring than surf dorks.
Is this crew the wavepool of beer dorks?
I’m thinking SUP fans as they’re a bit doughy / corn (fructose) fed to pilot a board in a wave pool.
this is not in the slightest bit true.
The ad made me like seabass not want the beer
Those three guys hold the WSL ticket to middle America.. Love to hear “Radar” tell us whose turns are more “Water’eer”..
“That was a clean turn.”
“Indeed. A rice or possibly a corn turn.”
Hey! It’s all ball bearings nowadays. Now you prepare that Fetzer valve with some 3-in-1 oil and some gauze pads.
Full deck grip. Noa Deane is The People™
I think Miller light has taken over here on the Westside of kauai, followed closely by coors light, keystone light and bud light. I’m a transplant though so I prefer Sierra Nevada.
I would say for locals in Hawaii, it’s Bud Light in the lead by far. With Heineken being broken out for special occasions like weddings and baby luau. You are seeing a lot of Miller Light?
hey man, you got beer in your name, cool…
rum too. Shit! I see foot!
Pure economics. I make 1200 bucks a week banging nails. Most of my buddies make like 800 and that is not too much here with the high cost of living. Coors and bud light are 25 bucks minimum for a 30 pack at big slave. If you go to Costco or Safeway you can get them same price as Miller light but that is a lot of driving. Plus you need all the weed you can smoke to calm your nerves before you get chased out by a huge tiger shark and the Cali indoor shit is all we smoke.
Worst beer ever!! Strike that. It’s not even a beer
Have the moccasins made you soft Chas? Comfort wear. The People know no comfort. Faithful leader? Or fateful leader? Do you taste the bitter brew of watery suds? Neither do I. Neither do I. Do you have a date with fate? Or a date with destiny? The People wait.
Taedonggang or nothin!
http://www.rfa.org/english/…
It has a bitter labor camp sweat and Rip Curl wetsuit effluent finish to it. Stout. Very.
Michelob ultra: tastes like club soda splash of Budweiser. Still better than one of those trendy hipster IPAs that taste like a box of band aids.
True dat!
I was going to say weasel urine/ distilled water and a tad of carbonation, but your description is much more accurate
They did a good job playing up the extra thumb at 0:16.
BBFB ! best beer free beer at a wedding or a gallery or a trade show or at the in laws or the out laws , Never drunk a shit free beer in any country . LONG LIVE THE FREE BEER
The People™ in Southern California use only the same bar of cool water wax that’s been melting during the day and resolidifying overnight every day in a baggie in the trunk of their car for the last 3 years…
and when that finally runs out The People™ borrow a similarly fucked up bar of cool water from someone in the parking lot because communism
Something something, labor theory of value, something, root beer sex wax.
yes this seems totally right except i don’t really like root beer all that much really
It is the only appropriate flavor of Sex Wax, goddamnit
oh i have lived a very deprived and sheltered life because i did not know this was a thing! it’s always coconut when i go to buy it! now i’m sad to miss out.
but i had so many boards aimed at my head today that i am feeling all the love for The People™ so much love! 🙏❤️🌈
Any Rincon?
yasssss early season so not super but totes alright
I drove by on sat morn and it was flat!
Shiiiiittttt yeah I wasn’t there Saturday! Only today!
I’ve only just discovered the joy that is sex wax. Never thought to try it before because I was repressed I guess.