Gimme surf as blood sport!
What a wild few days it has been, earth quaking tour moves from the Santa Monica offices of the World Surf League blasting our complacency, making us question the very meaning of life. What is it all about? What does it all mean? When is ok to do right to do wrong to do right? Where have all the flowers gone?
Why doesn’t the World Surf League allow 20 Hawaiians into the Pipeline Masters?
I wondered this, two days before the League issued its memorandum on the updated tour schedule, in front of David Lee Scales during our bi-weekly chat.
He had argued, a few days prior, that the World Surf League should treat Hawaii like it does every other stop on tour. That it is an “international competition” and that the rules have to be the same at each location in order for it to mean anything and this sent me into an introspective pit.
Why do I watch professional surfing? And I realized that I don’t care at all about discovering who the “best surfer on the best waves” is. It is either John John or Filipe and the WSL could save much money by flying those two around and having them fight it out. No, I don’t care about “bests” or even “goods.” I watch professional surfing purely on a heat by heat basis and want each one of those heats to have much drama. I want each one of those heats to have its own live-or-die storyline. I want the possibility for glory or devastation in every 30 minute nibble.
I want surfing as blood sport and tossing 20 Hawaiian hand grenades into the carefully laid plans of mice and men delivers this precisely. I have neither the time, nor inclination, to enter into a discussion or race, or of Hawaii being surfing’s “birthplace” etc. I just want to be wildly entertained and tell me, tell me with a straight face, that Hawaiian wildcards don’t make the Pipeline Masters the most watchable event on tour.
But damn it. Damn all. Pipe is moving to the front end and it’s lost its wildcards and California lost the people’s event and it was replaced by country club surf club and where have we come from? Where are we going?
Tell me!
And while you’re thinking, David Lee Scales and I also talk about high performance longboarding and how awful it is. A truly unredeemable thing to do and I think we can at least all agree on this. But will it be enough to build a new foundation of trust and understanding?
Listen here!
Well Chas I think you have inadvertently put your long-ish finger on a big thing: RIVALRY. It’s been over a decade since pro surfing had two triple A winners in the same room, spazzing out and throwing shit at each other every heat, every event. In the 70s there was, like, everyone trying to kill each other just to make enough money to get to the next contest. In the 80s, well christ almighty. In the 90s there was a full generational re-plant and the astonishment of watching the GOAT get his six and destroy his own generation. In the Noughties there was KS vs AI in the greatest competitive showdown the sport’s ever seen. Today? There’s Gabriel Medina looking for a foe and seeing tumbleweeds, and everyone else is in their own little worlds, doing their thing. Passive Aggression rules the day! And that’s just the men.
We can watch ’em surf and enjoy the best moments of it, but there’s no fucking Shakespeare in that is there.
For me Pro surfing is soooo much more fun and interesting when there’s a little money on the line. It’s too bad the couple of fantasy surfing gambling sites that existed a couple of years back had to shut down …
“No, I don’t care about “bests” or even “goods.” I watch professional surfing purely on a heat by heat basis and want each one of those heats to have much drama.”
It me. It’s all about the game between the two surfers for me, not the absolute quality of the wave or the surfing. I mean, unless the surf is soooooo badddd that they can’t play the game at all.
I guess this is why I’m not totes sold on the whole wave pool extravaganza. How do you replicate that conflict. But then again, I watched like all of Red Bull Rampage and there is no head-to-head competition in that thing — it’s two runs, scored, done. So Idk. Maybe I’ll totally love it and want to give Kelly Slater all my money.
He’d really like that 🙂
I care…. I’m a mediocre California surfer.
You want 20 Hawaiian wildcards? Why??? Have you ever tried to watch the dahui backdoor shootout (which is full of Hawaiians, you know, the “specialists”)? It’s UNBEARABLE! And no, I’m not referring to the commentary which makes middle school dropouts in Mississippi sound like Mensa members. If these “specialists” are actually a threat then let’s see one of them win the damn thing. Two victories in 20 years shouldn’t constitute some overwhelming proof that the contest should be flush with wildcards. Leave it as is and let the two wildcards get smoked in the first two rounds so the regulars can go on about their business.
Having trials to compete in two open slots or a slot in main event why not? Jack Robinson performance at “Pipe” was worth any admission fee. All sports need an under dog..
They can let the entire island of Oahu into the trials for all I care. As long only two sacrificial lambs make it into the main event. As for Jack Robinson, 100% agree, he could actually win it. But he hasn’t (not yet). And I don’t think that angry contingent of Hawaiians stewing about not getting their fair share has too many concerns regarding the status of a little blond haired charger from West Oz.
More importantly tired seeing finals in dribble..
I would support the entire shit show too come crashing down. My surfing has never and will never be contingent upon who wins the lame ass title. It’s a joke to me really. Anything with subjective judging isn’t a real sport where a true winner can be declared. Exercise in futility. -Raincloud out-
When surfing WAS a blood sport, it was a golden era. When priority was introduced, much of the drama evaporated. Let’s face it, there is NO priority in a regular line up. Localism aside 🙂 Six person heats, 45 minutes long. No priority.
Let’s bring it back!
Indeed. There is a certain Beavis & Butthead vibe to the whole thing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of your prose but it doesn’t translate well to radio. Additionally, any mention of “Bassy” make my skin crawl. If there is a God, Bassy never contributes to The Surfers Journal again in my lifetime.
Do you know of a better surfing podcast? There are plenty of terrible ones (Occys, Rorys, Cotes, etc.). This one is not terrible. While the southern californian pretentiousness is a bit thick at times, David Lee Scales keeps the conversation on track with topics that I’m most interested in with surfing. Their thoughts and opinions are mostly articulate, comical, and sometimes insightful. Who else is doing this? David and Scotts podcast is pretty good too. I stop listening when any of these guys start talking about board design though.
Good points all. Vaugh Blakey’s podcast “aint that swell radio” is listenable, similar to this one in terms of humor and insight. Aussy vibe is as uncomfortable as the SoCal vibe at times. Board design is a non-starter for me.
SurfSplendor, Grit and Spit are three of the best! Shit at this point there are only seven or eight so I listen to all of them.
Aint’ That Swell is the only podcast
Yeah, nothing gets me pumped quite like 3.77 heat totals from an out of shape Bruce Irons…
P.S. The discussed photo of Chas flipping off the camera: https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
I Agree if they were good enough they would be elevated to the ct. They live on the most photographed hyped 7 miles of any coast in the world. If they could make money for someone it would happen. see JOB.
Bruce looks in pretty good shape to me and he is still one of the best at backdoor, so i think maybe you are mistaking out of shape for boredom. Things are much different in real life than what you see on the web.
True. While he may be one of the best out there, he appears, to me at least, unprepared to actually compete in a heat. It seems like he’s just sucking up a wildcard that would be better off being given to someone who cares and who actually takes the competing part seriously and is trying to win, rather than simply thinking that showing up is enough of a treat. Again, perception does not always equal reality, as you pointed out previously, and I could be totally wrong about everything, which I’d be fine with…
If he’s so fucking bored in the pipe masters, why in the world did he make such a fuss about potentially not being included? Is he gonna “honor his brothers memory “ by being disinterested?
you feel entitled to judge him and how he honors his brother?
Nah, just curious.
unlistenable, unsustainable and untenable. Do you like Morgan or don’t you? It’s still not clear after 8 minutes
I’m mixed!
Fucking hell. Morgan is a massive dickhead. Don’t be so spineless.
Oh i was so furious at that Morg for quite a while but he doesn’t really seem to be so awful. Is he? What am i missing?
What made you so mad?
Listen to the podcast! (Sorry)
Ok, fuck it, I will!