An interview with Pornhub's VP Corey Price… 

There was a brief flutter of phalluses and wombs a week ago when the sexual revolution rapped upon the door of every sponsored surfer in the world.

Internet sex giant Pornhub, the thirty-seventh biggest website in the world, offered one-year sponsorships to “the most xxxtreme athletes under the sun!”

“Are you an amazing athlete that just needs that extra push to break it big? We’re looking to add YOU to our roster.”

A photograph of Hawaii’s Dusty Payne surfing, mercifully, and not being hoisted onto a leather swing for a MMM threesome, was used to advertise the offer.

 

It ain’t the first time Pornhub has offered to throw cash at sport. Earlier this year, a street roller hockey team rebranded with the name: PerthHub: Two Girls One Puck.

(Read about that here.) 

Earlier today, I spoke to Montreal-based Pornhub’s VP Corey Price.

(Actually, no I didn’t. Emailed the questions. They just landed hence stilted tone.)

BeachGrit: Why’s Pornhub getting into the action-sports game? Is it a Red Bull sorta play? A Pornhub sports channel?

Chris: Ultimately, while we want to always be known as the leading adult entertainment platform in the world, we also want people to recognize us for our endeavors outside of strictly adult entertainment. In the past, we’ve successfully involved ourselves in fashion, gaming, philanthropy, music and sexual education. We’re always on the lookout for our next venture, and encourage people to reach out to with any ideas they might have.

Tell me about the sponsorship. 

The athlete we sponsor will receive all-new Pornhub branded uniforms and occasionally be promoted via our social channels. It’s a worthwhile opportunity, especially for those fledgling teams that are struggling to get their name out there.

How much change are you throwing at sport?

This is a considerable endeavor on our part to help out fledgling athletes who have yet to catch their big break.

If we chose a surfer to be the next Pornhub athlete, we hope they would continue to crush waves and become the next Kelly Slater.

As part of the deal, do the athletes get a premium pass? If the athlete is amendable to the idea, might they even star in a Pornhub-produced film?

We’d be happy to provide them with a free subscription to Pornhub Premium. Heck, it might give them that competitive edge to go out and conquer that 20-foot swell. As for starring in a Pornhub film, that’s not possible. However, they can make their own amateur film on their own time and upload it to Pornhub! We have a burgeoning amateur community.

What do you think a surfer can give PornHub? I noticed a photo of the Hawaiian Dusty Payne on the page. Is he sponsored already?

Dusty is not sponsored by us. It was just a picture we put on there that we thought apropos. If we chose a surfer to be the next Pornhub athlete, we hope they would continue to crush waves and become the next Kelly Slater.

As for starring in a Pornhub film, that’s not possible. However, they can make their own amateur film on their own time and upload it to Pornhub! We have a burgeoning amateur community.

If you really want to push the surf angle, let’s partner up. Our audience gives terrific engagement.

I’m all ears!

 

Readers! What does a BeachGrit-Pornhub partnership look like?

Is it, as someone suggested earlier, a shared house on the North Shore, a joint that would make the fabled Volcom house look like a Mormon creche?

Or is it something a little more movie-oriented?

Do you, mostly, smile or grimace?

Generally speaking, I get a kick out of surfing. It don’t take much.

The cliched thrill of the first duck-dive, the cold water instantly reviving my spirits more than any coffee could. The satisfaction of a wave lanced to the best of my ability, maybe an air almost ridden out of. Feeling my back foot pushed into the kick of my tail-pad in a turn. A stranger commenting favourably on a tube. Driving home in the dark with my shirt off and the sunroof down after a glassy afternoon melts into night.

It doesn’t always end like that, of course.

Often, I’ll spend a torrid forty-five minutes dodging thrown boards, being yelled at, dropped-in on, and all for a few seconds of wave time.

Sometimes it’s that performance plateau you just can’t climb over, and which we debated, recently, here. How dreary and old it becomes when you make the same mistake two thousand times over.

The whole notion that your worst surf is always better than the best day at work is more a comment on the sad reality of most of our jobs than the perfection of surfing. If you’re in a cubicle, your only friend a dried-out succulent next to your beige PC, and pecking at electronic spreadsheets like a cage-chicken at its artificial feed, I hear ya.

And, so I wonder, when you closely examine your surfing life, does it make you, mostly, happy?

In a majority of instances, do you exit the water with your spirits aloft?

Or does surfing give you the shits more often than not and you continue to surf out of habit, and maybe identity?

There’s a moment in the short film below (fifty-two seconds in) where Tanner Gudauskas says, “This is… the sickest thing ever.”

Is that a comment on perhaps a man whose interests in life are too narrow?

Or is surfing that damn good that a crummy river wave can turn you into the happiest man (or girl, of course, hello Jen See, I loved your story yesterday) alive?