And we have a 2017 World Champion!
God is an ever-present figure in sports, from the National Football League all the way to the World Surf League. He helps teams win, players score and surfers title. Yesterday, after winning his heat, Brazil’s Gabriel Medina was supremely confident that God was firmly cheering for a Gabriel Media championship, telling South Africa’s Rose Hodge, “I feel great, I feel good, I feel God is on my side. Now is just to trust, believe and go for it.”
Well, things started a little dicey for Medina during his Round Four heat against Jeremy Flores and someone else. Jeremy jumped into a quick lead while someone else paddled around the lineup lost. Gabriel sat, waiting, before pouncing on a backdoor tube that looked ok and was judged a stellar 8 +. J-Flo was furious, kicking the water, screaming French obscenities, not because Gabriel caught a wave but because Gabriel had effectively blocked him on the three best waves of the day. Interference was not called and “WSL is playing favorites again…” would have become the refrain except Jeremy snagged a little runner at the end of the heat and was rewarded an even more stellar 8 +.
Off went Gabriel to Round Five where he faced the World’s Greatest Surfer and ’88 Pipeline Master Kelly Slater.
(Just kidding about the ’88 Pipeline Master. That was Barton Lynch.)
Kelly Slater is, I think, agnostic at best. Maybe he believes in a “higher power” but definitely not God. Would God push Gab through?
It started looking good. Kelly paddled for the first wave of the heat, a gorgeous Backdoor thing, and inexplicably couldn’t get to his feet. Or maybe explicably? Maybe the Corner Man Upstairs? Yes, I don’t think it could be argued any other wave, because a turtle swam though the lineup and knocked Kelly Slater off his board.
Kelly locked into another sneaky one but then here comes God! Gabriel got a small one which turned into an 8.9 then another weird one that turned into a 9.07! God sitting in the judges booth, locking in scores! God proving Gabriel Medina right.
Kelly took off on another bomb but God positioned Gabriel just so and he dropped in on Kelly’s head, destroying the wave’s “scoring potential” as they say. Barton Lynch won the 1988 Pipeline Masters.
And then he won. Gabriel Medina and God. But won the heat, not the Title or not yet.
And let us fast forward through John John and Julian’s quarterfinal heat wherein John John won handily.
And let us fast forward through Gabriel Medina and Julian Wilson’s quarterfinal heat wherein Medina was crushed by the Frenchman.
John John wins the World Championship Trophy! The day’s true chosen one!
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By the way: we agree that this Slater drop is not exactly a drop, right? And he did not try, as Slater says, to “surf the wave”.
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In Brazil, to say that “God is on my side” is a proverb, a cliché, as common as saying “I believe in God”. It does not mean that God is “only” on someone side. It means that God is on his side, just as he is on the side of everyone. It is a literal, sloppy translation, typical of those who do not know how to speak English so well. But at least he knows how to speak English. By the way: Anybody here speaks Portuguese?
Conspiracy? Why the fuck is the Slater v Median heat the only one without a replay? I’m calling Iggy Pop! https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
So, the conspiracy theories and Iggy Pop aside, why is the Kelly v Gabriel Medina heroine 5 heat THE ONLY HEAT that does not have a heat replay available on the WSL App. OR on on their website? Intrigue, or nah?
Title Title ™ mother fuckers!
Only Vicodin cocaine and weed for this Larry
I agree it was pretty lame but if you where in for a world title im sure everyone would do the same thing.
which will be next year , the Last final at Pipe !
Will we all be there to celebrate , the final chapter of surfing “au natural ” , before we all retreat to experience pool fever?
Now, I don’t proclaim to know much about the big blouse upstairs, but shurely karma is a wonderful cattle-prod to make us pesky humans dance on the grand stage of irony. And doesn’t the prodigous prodder of karma just love the over-inflated baloon of ego? Pop goes the world-title!
Oh I can totally see Kelly doin’ that. He’s hella eggy on the internet and really, all around. I just can’t see Curren caring enough! But it’s all entertainment for us either way 😀
great one Chas..really,
fucking tired of this kid naming god in our sport once and once again.I hope that if there is a god he is busy trying to fix this world..well maybe he is not and thats the reason the world is such a crap.
While Medina got a couple decent barrels in heats 4 & 5, his style remains awful. That post-tube, wide-inverted “plier” stance, while claiming for a high score to the judges, doesn’t help. In fact, Medina should get points taken away.
Robbie Page won the 88’ Pipe Masters. Barton won the Billabong Pro which was held at Pipe.
God works in misterious ways.
Back on the subject matter peoples.
Grandpa was the king of sparrows/colders/burnouts/inside&outsidesparrows(low,mid,high tide aka any fricken tide) ,then Shaun Thompson came to town in the mid 80’s and got a 20 sec barrel which meant he rode it, atleast to draino’s there he probably got another 10sec tunnel to zommo’s with another 5sec tuube on the shorebreak (dry hair etc,ect).
The sand was ePIC.
.(3228supa-baannk),
This was maybe the best wave ever ridden at that time because this is well before skeleton bay./superbank/juc in an easterly.
Does Nicky Carroll’s or co remember this fanastic wave?
It’s obvious, Jeremy rides for Jesus!
Medina by dropping in regardless of what the rule book reads just cemented his reputation as one of the top five biggest Dbags ever to compete in professional surfing. How far down the line was he ? 50 yards?? Talk about using the rule to its absolute absurdity. He’s an embarrassment to the sport. Good luck getting a wave free surfing pipe any time soon. Class. Either you have it or not. Can’t be learned. And crying again . What a whiny little bitch.
ol kells did the same to parko
I’m by no means a Medina fan but does everyone remember this?
I seem to remember people finding it hilarious when Kelly did it without a world title on the line.
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Maybe kelly should have done the “buddy christ” instead of the shakas
I think people’s point would be the danger difference between Kirra and Pipe
Medina deliberately straightened out and faded Kelly, not even trying to get a score. Such a bitch move.
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Fuuuuuck if the WSL ain’t rigging the final at Pipe for JJF, they ain’t rigging a goddamn thing.
Credibility immediately restored
Whoa whoa who said anything about credibility?
but poor ol JJF not good enough to win the Pipe Masters , beaten by an old French Journeyman , nothing rigged there ….