A fix? A champ retired before his time?
At four pm on a North Shore afternoon, with the sun a giant grapefruit, the curtin was drawn on a dreadful day for two of the four title contenders, while a thirty-six-year-old three-time world champ took a final bow.
Within the rules of probability it was unlikely that John John Florence or Gabriel Medina would oblige outliers Jordy Smith and Julian Wilson by losing early or that Jordy, especially, would win.
But the ghosts of history, of Sunny Garcia, Tom Carroll, Damien Hardman and so forth, whisper (in husky voices)… anything is possible.
In 1995, all Sunny Garcia had to do to win the title was to make it into round three.
He surfed against Occy in round two. Lost his board. Occy offered him his. Occy didn’t hassle for sets (“It was a very hard heat to surf,” said Occ after). Caught a couple of insiders just to get a score for appearances sake. Then it was all Machado’s until Slater cooked him alive in their high-five semi-final.
Seven years earlier, Barton Lynch had to finish runner-up or better at 10-foot Pipe to snatch the title off Damien Hardman or Tom Carroll. Barton won the damn thing.
So, today.
If John John got better than a ninth, didn’t matter what Julian did, he was out.
And it happened, despite some last-minute burlesque by Ethan Ewing. John John won by zero-point sevenths of a point, 10.87 to 10.80.
Watch it here and tell me if Ethan won or the fix was in, as Albee Layer suggested on Instagram.
“I don’t like winning heats like that,” said John John afterwards.
In the last heat of the day, Jordy Smith surfed against the partial cripple Kelly Slater, who turns forty-six in eight weeks. Oh the fire’s out but the fowl lives!
“I wanted Jordy to win that heat but sorta not really,” said Kelly, who expressed astonishment that Jordy didn’t push the button on his priority on what would become Kelly’s heat winning wave.
Watch that here.
And Mick Fanning?
The most searched-for surfer on Google and therefore the most famous surfer in the world?
He’s out, at least according to Conner Coffin.
“I don’t think I’ve surfed against [Mick] man-on-on man this year so I was really stoked to have that opportunity today,” said Conner in his post-heat presser. “But he made me feel bad like, ‘Aw, this is the last time I’ll ever surf out here.’ And I was like ‘Don’t make me feel bad about that!’ Because at the same time, if I didn’t make that heat I might not have ever surfed out here again either…”
Mick refused to confirm, or deny, the retirement suggestion afterwards.
I do ask: is thirty-six too young to retire? Or has Mick, who still surfs with a barbarous power, realised his use-by date has arrived? Is he, therefore, an expert in legacy preservation unlike, say, Kelly?
(Oh! Rookie of the year. Conner O’Leary.)
Full results.
Billabong Pipe Masters Round 2 Results:
Heat 1: Gabriel Medina (BRA) 15.33 def. Dusty Payne (HAW) 8.50
Heat 2: Ethan Ewing (AUS) 11.54 def. Owen Wright (AUS) 10.77
Heat 3: Julian Wilson (AUS) 8.56 def. Benji Brand (HAW) 6.87
Heat 4: Matt Wilkinson (AUS) def. Stuart Kennedy (AUS) INJ
Heat 5: Adriano de Souza (BRA) 11.93 def. Jadson Andre (BRA) 8.33
Heat 6: Kolohe Andino (USA) 17.10 def. Jack Freestone (AUS) 14.96
Heat 7: Ian Gouveia (BRA) 13.40 def. Filipe Toledo (BRA) 11.30
Heat 8: Leonardo Fioravanti (ITA) 13.17 def. Sebastian Zietz (HAW) 10.00
Heat 9: Joel Parkinson (AUS) 6.10 def. Wiggolly Dantas (BRA) 5.13
Heat 10: Mick Fanning (AUS) 8.90 def. Bede Durbidge (AUS) 8.87
Heat 11: Kanoa Igarashi (USA) 12.67 def. Frederico Morais (PRT) 6.00
Heat 12: Michel Bourez (PYF) 16.40 def. Joan Duru (FRA) 6.54
Billabong Pipe Masters Round 3 Results:
Heat 1: Julian Wilson (AUS) 15.26 def. Ezekiel Lau (HAW) 8.34
Heat 2: Conner Coffin (USA) 14.03 def. Mick Fanning (AUS) 12.60
Heat 3: Ian Gouveia (BRA) 8.60 def. Matt Wilkinson (AUS) 6.83
Heat 4: Joel Parkinson (AUS) 8.50 def. Miguel Pupo (BRA) 5.47
Heat 5: Caio Ibelli (BRA) 10.13 def. Michel Bourez (PYF) 6.57
Heat 6: John John Florence (HAW) 10.87 def. Ethan Ewing (AUS) 10.80
Heat 7: Jeremy Flores (FRA) 6.60 def. Adrian Buchan (AUS) 2.26
Heat 8: Gabriel Medina (BRA) 10.00 def. Josh Kerr (AUS) 9.83
Heat 9: Italo Ferreira (BRA) 10.26 def. Kolohe Andino (USA) 4.17
Heat 10: Leonardo Fioravanti (ITA) 15.87 def. Adriano de Souza (BRA) 6.13
Heat 11: Kanoa Igarashi (USA) 13.34 def. Connor O’Leary (AUS) 9.73
Heat 12: Kelly Slater (USA) 11.87 def. Jordy Smith (ZAF) 7.87
Billabong Pipe Masters Round 4 Match-Ups:
Heat 1:Julian Wilson (AUS), Conner Coffin (USA), Ian Gouveia (BRA)
Heat 2: Joel Parkinson (AUS), Caio Ibelli (BRA), John John Florence (HAW)
Heat 3: Jeremy Flores (FRA), Gabriel Medina (BRA), Italo Ferreira (BRA)
Heat 4: Leonardo Fioravanti (ITA), Kanoa Igarashi (USA), Kelly Slater (USA)
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
Your crazy if you think medina or John won their heats. You can’t say but there first wave was underscored, oh well then. In football or any other real sport that more than 5 people watch at a time you don’t add points to a teams final score because they had a few bad calls early in the game. The wsl is a complete joke the rules literally change from wave to wave within the same heat. If everyone here who actually surfs has to come up with this convoluted reasoning for why these calls made sense no one who doesn’t surf will ever bother to try and learn these dumb ass rules.
Exactly what I thought seeing the two heats…
Yea pro surfing could be fun to watch but they have to change a lot of shit and looking at the direction it’s headed it’s prolly gonna get worse.
The judges review scoring rides at the end of the heat for comparison to make sure the right surfer gets through, they would have compared Johns 4. whatever to Ethans. I think it’s pretty fair as we all want the best surfer to win. Watching the analyzer I thought John got the nod but it could have gone either way and w a title on the line they obviously weren’t going to give the last ranked surfer on tour the heat win in a close one w the champ. Simple as that!
Why, oh why does the post heat interviewer not have the balls to ask Medina the big questions when he says “I think God was on my side…”
See, if Medina (and others) want to bring up God in their interviews, that’s ok, but then they should be prepared to answer philosophical questions like “Why would an infinite entity be partial to one limited being or another? Shurley its bad parenting to be partial to one of your kids?”
Longtom have you been gagged?
Camping without internet!
At world title showdown time? If he was getting paid it would be a sackable offence.
albee sounds like a cool “friend”
JJF was cleaner and more precise…..
I still think Jordy’s air should be pronounced “ROH-dee-oh” not “roh-DAY-oh.”
Please someone explain why I’m wrong.
Morning cb. You’re wrong because rodeo comes from Spanish: rodear. Blame those damn Mexicans!
Best goddam food in the solar system.
Big call.
Hazy 70’s childhood memories of BuenoNalo chimichangas sets it in stone for me.
…..or even those damn Spaniards.
But! He ain’t wrong, because like I said earlier, the English language is an artform. Diminutive snowboard icon Peter Line (I think) named the trick evoking the wild, rough-and-tumble, limbs flailing world of the Americanized “Ro-DEE-oh. (Side note: the trick is every bit as impressive on snow as it is hideous at sea). Not to mention, my father was a professional Ro-DEE-oh cowboy, specializing in bull riding and surely getting flung, flipping, corkscrewing through the air.
Blame the damn American Cowboy!
Or maybe I’m wrong because everyone understands either pronunciation, so who gives a fuck? Was your father really a cowboy? Where did the interest in auditing spring from?
I blame the parents.
Indeed he was. And I have no interest in auditing, but it is a play on both my former profession and one of my favorite records of all time.
And he still is, I guess, just not one that rides at rodeos anymore.
Respect. Tough as nails those guys. Did he swap grip hands or has he got one arm that’s a foot longer than the other?
Dude, he’s all messed up but doesn’t really give a shit. Broke his back a year ago (in his late 60s) getting tossed from a horse. I inherited none of that toughness.
Like to hear more about him! Wasn’t Gerlach’s dad a daredevil?
It’s pretty shit watching your parents get old, no matter how tough they are. I’ve seen plenty of tough moderation also, tough guy.
And no, he never rode switch. Or whatever.
whoa bull riding is intense dude
A terrible way to support a family though, at least in he early 80s.
yessss it does seem somewhat insecure
Roh-desian-oh
Historical!
WSL and JJF title it’s a joke!
A big bad and a giant joke!!!
All rigged…
JJF x Ethan heat was CRIMINAL!!!
So bad that World Shame League have to fix in Medina’s heat!
Go suck a big giant cock WSL , with the history of gold and wonder Boy, and the title in his house the Magic Hawaii…
A great and big bad joke…
This is how a sport lost credibillity in front of people and serious media and sponsors…
FIFA… oh no… COI… oh no… It’s World Shame League and his fixed game…
The WSL like sucking cock! They are quite the expert.
Impressive that you managed to get FIFA and. Credibility in the same sentence. I’ve never been able to do it.
Qatar 2022 completely agrees with you.
Irony BG, irony…
Rigged and fixed games are things that we, here, smells it so far…
But another irony it’s that FIFA and COI are “non profits” organizations…
But another irony? They are europeans, no?
Well, well, well…
Let me suggest the movie about FIFA history, a great and classical movie comedy with Tim Roth…
Or on YouTube the true history of FIFA…
But WSL are doing a good job…
Dady’s proud!
FIFA movie…
Oh I forget the great Sam Neill in the cast…
But Tim, another great gem, is no other than…
Yes!
Sepp Blatter!!!
But they are só small in the past… but always, of course, non profit!!!
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
But John Oliver painted FIFA better…
I see FIFA like Don Corleone… COI as Michael Corleone… and…
WSL like…
hummm Huey, Dewey, and Louie Duck, all together, the grandnephews of Scrooge McDuck…
But the great question is… who is Scrooge McDuck???
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
FFS, if i hear world shame league one more time I’m going to stick a compass in both of my ears. Is it a brazzo invention? Gabriella is fucked but i think he won that heat. However I’m not convinced john won his and his comments in the post heat interview imply he wasn’t sure he won either.
Well Alice… just for your ears in Wonderlands
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
How’s that bait fish going? Bad lucky guy…shame shame
Ethan did nothing that I couldn’t do… weaving barrels and a close out floater.
JJF’s beyond savage hack on his second wave and the timing and the difficulty involved with the takeoff/barrell on his first got him the heat in my book.
It was very close but not CRIMINAL!!!
In this PIPE, nothing, nothing, that JJF done, are close to… savage, Neg…
Only If you talk about his revolting hair in a Kona wind evening…
Let’s talk about the decimals in the two Ethan’s waves, both in the fork… Almost, almost in the goal… Uhhh!
Oh what a bad lucky guy…
Maybe If he shave his head and change his sur name…
Slater… Ethan Slater!!!
Agree. That hack was fuckin sick
Hot rumour – in round four, Kelly is being replaced by James Newell Osterberg, Jr.
Conditions could be conducive to airs and my money is on him getting higher than anyone else.
What boardshorts will he wear? The I Wanna Be Your Dog ones or the Search and Destroy ones? Both would be acceptable in my weary eyes.
He’s wearing the cover version of the “Backdoor Man” ones. (The ‘Raw Power’ ones attracted sharks.)
Johns first two scores were both underscored and the best waves of the heat. No need for all the drama
It’s not Conner O’Leary it’s Conner All Eary
Or Connor All Irish?!
Wow Derek ,Bob Hawke slowly shuffling off this mortal coil exciting ( yawn)and ( oh Connor O’Leary wins rookie of the year ) .Cant work out why everyone in Oz wants to be a free surfer ?Luckily SURFER MAG gets behind emerging Australian talent .
Dez it is Curtain above or Curtin because you too close to Bob now??
My main occupation these days is misspelling simple words. But, yes, John Curtin, beautiful, flawed man, Australia’s bravest prime minister etc.
Speaking of Lil Jon, I mean Barton, is the WSL going to can him again?
https://youtu.be/d8-Iq-47Vk…
Can Barton? Has he been bad?
What!? What!? What!? I recall him being let go for questioning the narrative before…
wsl needs to lower the cameras to more of a ground level. They’re up too high, makes everything look basic.
Lowering your expectations would be far simpler.
Something something Rosie clothing etc.
/typical male
Apologies etc.
Don’t forget the ghost of Gary Elkerton. What happened to him was fucking heavy.
Oh and…yes… Kong too. Grotesque for Gary but exciting to watch!
I was sharing a house with a tour guy and happen to be on the beach that day. So I sitting with several tour guys. Elkerton and his parents were two towel lengths away. The final heat had Derek, Larry Rios, Jeff Booth and history books says ?(Slater) but I don’t remember that. Not once did Booth or ? ever paddle around or press Derek and Larry for position. I saw it, listened on the beach… etc. Larry was blocking… Yellow brick road.. for Derek in my opinion..
Side note: Simon Law took off switch, got axed. Was incredible! Machado was way over his head that day wasn’t the Pipe champion he grew into. And yes remember watching Nick and his brother surf good Pua’ena Point. Got egged walking down Cam Highway by Briley.. The North Shore was my Mecca still wish I had tried harder.
Wish you’d tried harder? At surfing?
Yes, still looking for the best wave of my life.
ha the Kong story , and the Tom Curren incident with JBG , or the attempted pay off of Occy to throw the Sunny heat , or surfers who paid fellow heat members to not catch a wave so they could re-qualify , and now we have the Privately owned WSL , and a subjective system where heats like JJF are heavily scrutinized , if ya gunna beat the champ , you have to really beat him , and Ethan didn’t do that , JJF was better , but Gabbs Pipe wave was very underscored!
Cool story, imagine if Gabs did that priority thingy on a local
Zeke has the power but not the heart of Sunny i’m afraid. Private school upbringing..
Tell me if Ethan won or the fix was in? I couldn’t pick it but my instinct was with John. But I don’t like comps at Backdoor because surfers are often rewarded for the easier to ride more hollow waves rather than the skill in riding. Backdoor is a hoax. To me, John’s 1st wave was the best wave of the heat because of how it was ridden, similar to some of Gabriel’s lefts, which were scored lowish. Also, nothing wrong with John’s 2nd (non-scoring) wave. I think John was the better surfer & deserved to win, despite the very dodgy ending. I think both of John’s scoring rides were better than Ethan’s scoring rides. Ethan’s last barrel looked cleaner but the time in the tube seemed the same and John’s snap was better than Ethan’s floater. I give it to John; also for the sake of Chas. Let’s make Ethan the sacrificial lamb for the good of the many folk.
Clearly, John.
Thanks. What a relief. I wouldn’t want to transgress political correctness.
Medina was also very close but I think Medina’s best wave was underscored so it was evened up at the end. Did you hear Peter Mel squealing “what, what, what”. Funny. I hope he thought Medina’s left was underscored, as I did, rather than overscored. Medina’s left was really throaty & he surfed it genius. Brilliant. But not as brilliant as political correctness.
By the way, wasn’t it Joe and Pottz commenting that heat? I also thought it was Peter Mel saying that. Was Pottz pulling a Pete?
OK. Its official. The fix is on. Caio Ibelli heavily underscored (which will spook Medina with conspiracy theories).
Its official. Win or not win the title, Gabriel Medina is the King of pro-surfing, by using priority to steamroll Kelly Slater at Backdoor. MP, MR, AI revisited. Animal (although risky). Write a story!
Breaking insight – “John was the better surfer”. You should get a job in the WSL booth!
Thanks again. I am trying to conform.
I agree with you Nick
Maybe for the first time ever!
I’m totally with you. Gut instinct told me that Ethan’s last wave was definitely the score, but John’s two waves were better.
JJF was waaaaay underscored on his first wave. Technical virtuosity was NOT rewared. But EE was ripped on his last wave. Kinda’ all balanced out in the end. You can script this. Now, about Iggy Pop…..
I’m not sure re JJ winning that, watched heat analysis few times- pretty scripted for sure
The floater on the inside section was way more critical at the point in the wave were the last bit of wave face draws of the shallowest point in the reef. As was Ker’s wave. Im a believer! You have to beat the champ no questions. But Medina and Ker’s scores showed the flaw in the system..
When will Thursdays with Mick be out, Chas?
Is that something you would buy? That would thrill you to pieces?
Mick’s story has been told so often, I reckon a Chas authorship would be one of the few remaining means of adding something spicy and original to the Fanning canon!
I’d rather read about Sunday mornings with Eugene…
“Once again, I trekked to the wilds of Tugun to meet with Mick on another Sunday morning. Once again, I let myself in and made myself comfortable on the balcony, while listening to the rhythmic chainsaw reverberating from Eugene’s room.”