Not true!
Not true! | Photo: WSL/Kelly Cestari

Revealed: Photos are the worst liars!

A picture is worth the thousand words it takes to clean it up.

I knew it. I just plain new it for all these years but it remained a gut feeling. An instinct that I couldn’t shake. My whole professional career, you see, I’ve had beef with photos. Damned photos. That’s what everyone wants. That’s what everyone craves. No one ever bought a surfing magazine to read the articles. And so the surf photographers got fat paychecks and fat heads. The old adage “a picture is worth a thousand words” emblazoned across their smug expressions.

But I knew it all along. I knew their photos were liars. That the surf photographer, with all his skill, could capture anyone in the most marvelous light. That what he shows us ain’t necessarily so. I knew it but had no proof.

Until today.

Oh yes I watched the first three heats of the Gums Masters and I watched the Italian Ferrari try the best he could by pitching some pretty… you know… air things. They looked alright, I suppose, but nothing… you know… epic.

But look above. How epic does that look? I’ll tell you, it looks almost iconic making it a total lie. Can we now start saying “a picture is worth the thousand words it takes to clean it up” as our adage?

Thank you.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
18 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
oceanyeti
oceanyeti
8 years ago

With the amount of paperwork Kelly left Huey to mop up in South Africa, I’m not surprised the ocean’s not dishing up the goods.

Ami Lost
Ami Lost
8 years ago

Any monkey can get barreled or huck his board in the air, you got photos, we don’t care, send video. You might get sponsored like Chas.

Dee Walker
Dee Walker
8 years ago
Reply to  Ami Lost

Yep photos biggest hoax going around. So many egos bolstered up from pics. Video will deflate it very quickly.

channelbottom
channelbottom
8 years ago

So what’s the deal with surf photography? In skateboarding (in my day, fuck knows what the kids do now) if you didn’t make that (insert trick here) the photo didn’t see the light of publication.

Is it different for airs in the surfyboardy world of “journalism”.

Totally showing my ignorance here.
Fuck it.

turts
turts
8 years ago

A photo may speak a thousand words, but a sequence speaks volumes

Otto
Otto
8 years ago
PacificNorthPest
PacificNorthPest
8 years ago

Italo surfs beautifully. He’s a sure-footed Brazilian amp-booster with the skatey flair of a new-school Maui boy. He deserves every lie photos tell about him.

Tom
Tom
8 years ago

He landed it!

Carlos Vilar
Carlos Vilar
8 years ago

Despite the bad taste in the chosen subject of the board decoration….yes I agree on everything you said

Anthony Arturo Leone
Anthony Arturo Leone
8 years ago

I remember watching the exact second Alana Blanchard figured it out. She was in a heat at restaurants. One of the other girls in the heat plowed her face into the reef and came up bleeding. Alana didnt take a wave that whole heat and left the tour that year.

Anthony Arturo Leone
Anthony Arturo Leone
8 years ago

Fucking truth right there, god forbid you tell some of these guys that though.

Anthony Arturo Leone
Anthony Arturo Leone
8 years ago

Can confirm as a photog. I tell guys all the time when im shooting photos you only need to look good for 1/1000 of a second. When the video camera comes out its a little different. I can make a fraction of a second look great as a quick cut clip but you damn well better make your airs and barrels. I cant fix shitty surfing and horrible style

Anthony Arturo Leone
Anthony Arturo Leone
8 years ago

There is literally nothing worse then filming someone for 8hrs who cant land shit or make a wave when you would rather be surfing your self

Otto
Otto
8 years ago

So why do you do it then?

Anthony Arturo Leone
Anthony Arturo Leone
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Some people get paid to surf, some people get paid to design clothes, i get paid to point my camera at people and press the button.
Its hard to describe. but, if you’ve never pulled up to a spot fully pumping, board in one hand, camera in the other frothing just as hard on shooting amazing photos as you are on getting barreled off your tits then i dont think you would understand the mindset.
Also lots of times i trade my photo services for places to stay if i want to travel on the cheap. Its a pretty solid barter chip since pretty much everyone wants photos of themselves surfing

Otto
Otto
8 years ago

You are in good company here. Beach Grit writers and the commentariot know the cheap, and the barter.

Anthony Arturo Leone
Anthony Arturo Leone
8 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Thats why the grit feels so homey to me. If there ever was a website id want to be a staff photog for it would be the grit. Everyone else takes this surfing shit way to seriously.

Otto
Otto
8 years ago

Thousand words?!? Fuck off Morgan Maassen! … ‘nough said.

The pic above has increased PornHub web traffic, specifically under ‘big toe in bikini’d butt’. Is that an Italian thing?


18
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x