Proof that virility isn't just measured at the root of the belly…
Earlier today, the number seven rated surfer in the world, Kolohe Andino, and his adorable GF Madison Brooke-Aldrich were married at The Casino, a pre-war Spanish mission-style joint just on West Avendia Pico there in San Clemente.
Kolohe, who is two months short of his twenty-third birthday, chose Jeremy Carter as his best man, an important role incorporating all sorts of logistics, and Luke Davis, Nat Young, Tanner Rozunko, Ian Crane and Griffin Colapinto as groomsmen, a significant title and recognition of friendship, yes, but whose role is merely to act as ushers to the wedding’s guests.
Maddie’s account of Kolohe’s Christmas Day proposal, is divine and is proof, I think, that virility isn’t just measured at the root of the belly where the phallus rises with a perfectly beveled rim of unusual weight and the friendliest red.
Let’s read.
We met 7 years ago, I was working at Guichos Eatery where I first met Kolohe. We were only 18 and 16, wow have we grown!!
Kolohe proposed early Christmas morning, it was our first Christmas together in our new home. I told Kolohe that my favorite part about Christmas is the stockings, and that my mom always wrapped ALL of my stocking stuffers, he though this was ridiculous. However he was up into that late hours of the night wrapping all my stocking stuffers. Kolohe woke up at 5 am ready to start his day! He drug me out of bed and we made our way downstairs. He began setting up his phone so it could self film us, when I asked him what he was doing he told me he wanted to document our first Christmas in our new home together, little did I know he wanted to film the proposal. We began to alternate turns opening up our stockings, it was my turn and I was down to my last stuffer. I opened the gift and it was a ring! As I looked up Kolohe was on one knee asking me to marry him, I couldn’t believe it and kept asking him if he was kidding! After the realization that this was really happening, I said yes. It was a Christmas we will always remember and cherish!
We have two puppies, who we call our children, their names are Levi & Dually. We also have a slight addiction to the Dodgers and are their number one fans.
We have been through so much together and are beyond excited to make marriage the next step in our story! We can’t wait to celebrate with all of you, get ready for the BEST DAY EVER!
Guests wedding photos here.
thats what I thought.
Too young? Or not young enough country boy?
A, I’m surprised Brother is that young, I thought he was older than JJF….maybe 24-25.
and B, too young. Whats the rush?
The rush? The preservation of the purity of both of you!
Once you’ve enjoyed the world at your fingertips, the mundane is a welcome change for these young pro athletes. Mormons too.
she served me coffee once. Nice little body. They’re perfect for each other.
Don’t bury the lead brah how was the coffee?
hot
Unrelated, Eddie Rothman went on an epic rant against Monsanto during his shootout broadcast. Kids at Sunset Elementary are flopping around on the ground due to Roundup exposure. GMO food is causing cancer. The Nobel laureates at BG need to get to the bottom of this asap.
Congratulations to the young beautiful couple!
Coco is looking cute as always (fuck the haters), Seabass bestowing a magical blessing, awesome times.
She looks slightly pregnant
I’d like to claim responsibility for that
Kids. Enjoy while you can, I guess. “All of this is coming your way.”
As the highest paid QS grinder of all time San Clemente’s favorite Italian can probably afford hired help .
Why do professional surfer get married so young? And never to a pediatrician or patent lawyer or some other professional with a motor. Always the same follows-her-man except slightly difficult because she’s hot family Christian type. Similar to most sports-wives really. Must be some yearning for stability in a career spent in transit, the future’s already written so why wait ….
there’s something naively innocent about it all, isn’t there?
To be sure. But I guess kids in love should melt my Grinchy heart. Hope it lasts long and happy and a successful bikini company.
Look at their angelic faces in the photos. Like lambs to slaughter I tell you.
Fierce. But not as fierce as Medina’s music video clip he just dropped. How did stab get to this before BG?
I cringe at the thought of watching that video. Normally I’m up for a good freak show but that’s too much for me.
Lest we forget:
https://vimeo.com/153179721
I just love that Chloe “drugged” her out of bed at Xmas!!! Best way to do a proposal!!
Illegal and unethical?
No, that would be if he drugged her into bed.
I drug my way out of bed every morning, generally with caffeine, I find the rohypnol makes me sluggish at work
Didnt know Kolohe was a Cosby fan.
It’s so sweet that Derek manages all articles of this ilk. Love hearts all round.
I’m a sucker for marriage, and weddings most of all.
Tons of money sloshing around for gay weddings.
Kolohe is pure as white snow. Nat Young, not someone ever described as white-ish, near to accommodate a Brother. Speaking of which, is that weird that Madison married Brother? I mean, what happens when Ashton comes ’round and remains awkwardly silent? Will he regurgitate at mere incestual insinuation? Ashy Larry.
You can’t both be the Dodgers number one fans. There’s two of you. Someone must be one. Someone two. I digress. Are college funds for puppy children as expensive as children children?
P.S. Congratulations
This wedding raises more questions than it answers. I heard it was all a set-up from Stab to draw attention away from the Quik-Bong merger.
Do you think Kolohe took her last name?
They’re both going under Brooke-Aldrich-Andino now. Chloe and Madison Brooke-Aldrich-Andino
Congratulations! I think.
indeed….