"We've got some guys on the inside looking into anything interesting."
It has been three long days since Quiksilver and Billabong merged into one company and Westchester’s Stab magazine is still silent. Not one jot. Not one tittle. The boys even posted a story this morning titled The Surf Biz Is Nothing If Not Interesting* without a mention of the Quik x Bong marriage. Oh it is surely insidious. The website’s editor, Ashton Goggans, stepped briefly from behind the partition to comment here by posting an ancient speculative thing in defense.
It was as if Sean Spicer himself had risen from the dead.
And I let him know that everyone had reported the months ago rumors of a possible merger but that ain’t the same thing as reporting that it had just happened (be still my beating heart).
To which Ashton replied:
Honestly, read the interview. Put it at the back of the line. We’ve got some guys on the inside looking into anything interesting, you know, instead of just regurgitating the same press release. We’ll get to it. I’d love to know what insidious corporate plot you might imagine we’re tied up in. Go full Pynchon on me. You can lay it out for me and Scales next week.
Sam and I went and surfed up north yesterday. Morgs is on his way to Hawaii. What did you do with your lovely Friday, Charlie**?
The interview? What interview? It was a business story and littered everywhere. CNN Business, MSNBC Business, The Wall Street Journal, etc. And he put it on the “back burner” because some “guys on the inside” are “looking into anything interesting” instead of “regurgitating a press release?” And egregiously non sequitur mentions of surfing and Hawaii?
This whole thing stinks.
And I’m glad he mentioned that we are set to meet, both in person and on air, next week. I had the odds at 1 in 200 that he’d agree because, in truth, it will be the end of Stab. An absolute bloodbath.
See you in the octagon*** Ashton Goggans! You had better start looking for another job now.
*This is totally the pot calling the kettle black but I really can’t stand that Stab capitalizes be-verbs, articles and prepositions in titles. Such a pain.
**I used to know that people were passively-aggressively displeased with me when they called me “Chuck.” It has changed recently and now when they are passively-aggressively displeased with me they call me “Charlie.”
***By “octagon” I mean Surfrider’s offices in front of a microphone.
Conspiracy theory requesting response: What kind of story would you write if you found out D’s boy was now in the process of negoiating the sale of Stab (again) to the newest surf sucker on the block, Oaktree?
The Olympics bring government with them whether you like it or not. In this case, the winner has already been decided. It will be up to the market to catch up.
reading all these stab-related articles is great just because i love seeing what random south bay neighborhood chas picks as stab’s office location. shoutout westchester and catch these hands on the corner of manchester and west 17th.
simple mind, simple pleasures.
He’s gonna try and Mr Nice guy you to death. Careful of the man who offers too much scope to set the anchor, the loop might just be around your foot.
You really are a skipper!
Depends on who’s asking and what day it is. I do hold a master mariner red book and going for my sailing endorsement early Feb in order to run a catamaran sailing charter. I run a small amount of privately owned boats, but my bread and butter is tour boats. My freelance niche is being older, experienced, sober, and on time. The key element is being sober.
https://youtu.be/jgopHWACUXs
of course there is a down side to the whole QuikBong merger , and that’s the future of the staff and teams .
I sound a bit like a broken record , but its a bit of a tragedy for “Surfing” that the 2 biggest Co’s are now spiraling down , not much of a career in the Surfing Industry for the kids whose parents profited enormously , but left empty marketing vehicles for them and that’s why none of the founding families have ben able to convince their siblings that there was/is a future in the brands , smart siblings , as here we stand getting QuikBong ready for Target etc…..
Here’s a thought. Isn’t no comment actually more of a dis? Why not just write some sugarcoat BS on the deal to help the hand that feeds?
Doesn’t no comment really say “we don’t approve?
Nope!
The hand that feeds? What, the chooks?
The non sequitur is the chief currency of internet arguments. You know that, Chas.
I can’t fucking wait for this pod. I think you can probably make him cry. He looks like a crier.
You reckon he’s agreed to this without packing some serious fucking verbal heat? If I were Chas, I’d be very nervous…
I give the Stab guy credit for — Sam and I went and surfed up north yesterday. Morgs is on his way to Hawaii. What did you do with your lovely Friday, Charlie**?
What did you do Charlie, go find a wave similar to the jewels of quality you discovered in Yemen? Or did you look for something a little more rad like KSWP?
there’s a bit of penis syndrome there , as I think the point is,” we surf better waves and are more better surfers ,” but isn’t Friday in Australia , Thursday in the USA , those merikans are always behind!
I disagree Brutus…I think Stab journo is making a more strategic point, being, at least they can and do surf half decent waves, but, what of this surf journo antagonist Charlie??? The asymmetrical boards riding Deus Machinos boards in Yemen?
yeah my waves are better than yours , and Charlie riding Aussie retro’s …….so what was the point?
Heavy bra
No CT or UFC for awhile, not to worry, we got a BG vs Stab bloodbath!
podcast wars….don’t you love the smell of war in the morning?
After reading the Tanners press release ……
that press release was amazing , to actually read that
1) QuikBong will have their brand culture protected at all costs
2) designers , merchandisers ,brand marketers are safe , as QuikBong are only as good as that culture and creativity!
3) Russia/Mexico/Europe strong for Quik
4) Aust for BBG
those 4 x statements are a gold mine ,
1) the belief that their current culture needs protection , ha, its a failed one…the figures tell the story!
2) what fucken creavity , that’s why the Co’s virtually went bankrupt , lost $2b in sales in the last few years
3) those countries are not yet aware that they are no longer youth brands , Europe is already having a downturn for them, the USA doesn’t get mentioned as no self respecting independent retailer would stock Quikbong.
4) so BBG strongest in Aust , but they have sales of about $400m more than Quik , does this Tanner even know what he’s managing…
Fuck this a gold mine of questions….is it true QS HQ will be moved into the BBG building at Burleigh , as they own the building up there and in Torquay they rent an enormous building that’s 1/2 empty , now that has a big affect people/communities/and business…..
How long before there is one central building for QuikBong in the USA , where will it be…the Surf Ranch….ah so many questions and angles , this is nearly exciting to watch, the end of 2 of the big 3 , which has become one!
Chad , Charly and Chas , what a fucken mother lode of ammunition , slaughter might be a bit of an understatement!
I accuse you Chas of failing to publish far more salacious gossip than two failing companies playing with each other’s withering dicks. Spill now and stop being such a Goggin!
Tell, tell, the gossip…
Chas needs to spill his guts to us!
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Memes say a lot about a person.
You know you and 3 others upvoted this chazzy. I sort of did, upvoted then promptly took it all back.
The news was even in our local cutting edge tabloid The Western Australian yesterday.
well, chaswick, maybe if you had accepted my suggestion to replace your quiver of tiny white undersized baby boards with a nice resin-tinted asym bonzer egg and rebranded beach grit as an eco-friendly free-range non-gmo alternative-surfcraft journal you would now have enough quiet reflection and subtle enlightenment to avoid getting yourself into all these futile squabbles with media giants like stab over dull topics like “corporate mergers” and “inevitable bankruptcy”, hmm?
the slippery Venice-adjacent slope
Chas I got your back but you best to watch your front..
especially, if the subject matter from Mr Tanner , turns into a “backender” discussion!
You’ve started 2018 with a hell of a swagger Chas.
Can you keep all the action to the first 5 minutes of the poddy please. Thanks in advance.
A D D?
I’m training like Ali did vs Foreman! Gonna rumble goggins’ jungle!
the thrilla in vanilla