Kelly Slater sings: “I like beer!”

7 years ago

Surfing's greatest singer/songwriter to make grand debut on world stage!

It was reported here just two days ago that the world’s greatest surfer would appear in the Super Bowl this coming Sunday. More people watch on television than anything else and so more people will see him paddling his surfboard to the horizon singing the song “I like beer.”

Now, the novice might find it amusing that Kelly Slater is paddling and singing but the surf enthusiast will know that our icon is as much a singer as he is a surfer and let us take a trip down memory lane beginning with The Surfers.

You, of course, recall the super band featuring Peter King, Rob Machado and Kelly Slater. Rolling Stone magazine described the second album thusly:

The Surfers’ best quality is their ability to present truly virtuosic rapping in ways that are commercially viable, and it would be ridiculous to suggest that Peter, Rob, and King Kelly’s talents have diminished since the debut release. But if that debut marked the very peak of The Surfers’ triumphal arc, buoyed by a swell of goodwill, the album Tubed is simply… here, arriving in the wake of a handful of solid but inessential singles that hardly compare to a zeitgeist-dominating force.

Even with rising success, The Surfers disbanded due tensions attributed to one of the member’s “extreme political position.” Undaunted, Kelly went on appearing many times with Jack Johnson…

…Eddie Vedder…

… and solo.

Derek Rielly says that he has the voice of an angel and I think it would be impossible to disagree. All of America will be treated to it, anyhow, this Sunday.

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Watch: Mason Ho (Still) loves rocks!

By Chas Smith

7 years ago

And he has wonderful friends!

Mason Ho is a special young man. In the day and age of surf clip saturation his somehow push through the din and rise to the very top. Maybe it is the different angles he pursues. Maybe its his eclectic taste in music (filmer/editor Joe Alani says that all music choices are Mason’s). Maybe it is his unique heritage. Maybe it is all his wonderful friends. Maybe he is simply the right person for the right time.

Completely anti-depressive!

But back to the rocks. I am terrified of surfing near them. A product of too much Oregonian time, being bashed off the odd moules covered slab, being torn by barnacles. Mason treats them like fun and forgiving obstacles.

Watch and enjoy.

eel boy from rory @ digital good times on Vimeo.

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Pierre, far right obvs, with Corts and Dane.

Breaking: Quiksilver CEO Pierre Agnes lost at sea…

By Derek Rielly

7 years ago

"I love this man," says Kelly Slater.

Yesterday morning, the eleven-metre boat of Boardriders Inc president Pierre Agnes was found empty and washed ashore at La Graviere, the site of the Quiksilver Pro in Hossegor, France.

Agnes, who is fifty-four years old, had gone fishing alone at first light, in a six-to-eight foot swell and with heavy fog.

As various French outlets reported:

“He was out alone at sea at 7:30 on Tuesday aboard his boat Mascaret III after leaving the port of Capbreton. He sent a message to the port master to explain that he was going to postpone his return because of the fog. An air search is under way, in close coordination with the Maritime Prefect of the Atlantic, who is in charge of rescue operations at sea.”

One local surfer and business owner speculated that, “On the way back he likely tried to get to Capbreton using GPS but found himself at low-tide La Graviere. So the boat got rolled and he was lost. Now there’s all sorts of boats going backwards and forwards trying to find a body.”

Pierre-Agnes-dead — Pierre’s boat, Mascaret III, washed ashore at La Graviere.

Pierre was famously thrown into the job of Quiksilver CEO (or Boardriders Inc as the name was changed to earlier this year) in 2015 after the disastrous two-year reign of former Disney boss Andrew Mooney, whose most significant achievement was the loss of Kelly Slater as a team rider.

Earlier today, Kelly Slater posted a photo of Pierre on Instagram with the note, “I love this man.”

https://www.instagram.com/p/Belkkw2gwiY/?hl=en&taken-by=kellyslater

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Should Apple centre the camera in their telephones so photos and videos don't have that weird looking to the side thing?

Julian Wilson: “I have some not very good news!”

By Derek Rielly

7 years ago

World number three injured in mountain-bike accident.

Half an hour ago, the world number three Julian Wilson announced he’d separated his shoulder in a mountain-bike stack.

Julian, who turns thirty this year and who won the Billabong Pro in Tahiti last year in a dramatic last-minute switcharoo, told his IG pals,

“I have some not-very-good news to share. I’ve come undone on my mountain bike doing some cross-training at Glenrock national park in Newcastle on Friday evening. I went over the handlebars, landed square on my shoulder and ruptured the AC joint. It’s not going to require surgery (but) it’s extremely uncomfortable hence the bag of peas on my shoulder. There’s no timeframe on the recovery. I’ll take it one step at a time. I’ll be doing everything…injuries suck and forced rest is never fun but I’ll be back stronger and better!”

Watch as a beautiful little child recreates the accident!

https://www.instagram.com/p/hCnd68g_by/?hl=en&taken-by=funnyfailvideos

An AC dislocation means an “Injury to the acromioclavicular (AC) joint on the top of the shoulder, where the collarbone (clavicle) meets the highest point of the shoulder blade (acromion).”

Literature on an AC sep suggests an athlete can be significantly weakened for a year after the injury.

The first event of the year is six weeks away, which may require a little fiddling with your fantasy surfer team.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BejyIitHoru/?hl=en&taken-by=julian_wilson

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Are you a beginner or low-level intermediate? Are you concerned about the difference a quarter of a litre in volume will make? Are you unsure about the foil on the free fins you were given with your board?

Quiz: Are kooks the new authority on boards?

By Jazzy P

7 years ago

Experts on fin foil and surfboard volume!

Lately, and much like the principals of this website, I’ve hit a fiscal wall. Gotta throw cash to make it, but while you’re waiting for the return salvo, times can get tough. As a way of feeding my more wolfish creditors I’ve begun liquidating my surfboard collection.

Nine Losts, a HS, a Genfour and a Slater Designs.

What moved the fastest? The Slater Designs flew off the online auction house within hours. I even flipped a noseless Lost V3 my kid brother had found on the curb for $80. One man came by for a Lost Short-Round that had been ridden twice. Three hundred bucks. A deal offered by a drowning man. One ding on the rail, a couple of heel dents. The man arrives and cusses me out for trying to rip him off and wasting his time.

I feel for the poor schlubs in surf stores who deal with this sorta bullshit all day. Volume has to be my most hated word this week. I had one guy write, “So I normally ride a 32L but this board is 31.4. I’m thinking this this board might be under-volumed for me.”

Rocker, contour, wide-point, rail profile, measurements within one-sixteenth of an inch… every single detail is forensically examined by these maybe-buyers.

Has the proliferation of design information on the internet created a hobby within a hobby?

Fins are now open season. A couple of buyers were analysing the profile, foil, material, and suitability to the board model of a set of fins that were being chucked in with the sale. These self-professed “low-level intermediates” were very serious about the workings of their rudders.

“Plastics are no good,” wrote one. “Are the TP1’s anything like the HS Ando fin or F8 Blackstix? From what I have researched today, I think it’s important to put a fin in the board that has least some of the desired qualities of what is recommend for that model to get the best out of it. I’m close to pulling the pin on this…”

The quest to differentiate boards via technicalities and buzz words has led to an army of beginner and intermediate surfers who blame these buzz words and other finer details on their lack of ability to bust a full-rotor or jam the fins.

I don’t have a problem with it per se. As long as the board sells.

But, I ask, and in all seriousness, what sort of wonderful experiences have you had with garage sale buyers?

Maybe you work in a store? What’s the wildest thing you’ve been told? And does the below-average surfer tend to exaggerate his ability?

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Eat beach grit spam!