The Inertia reveals surfing’s biggest secret!

Almost guaranteeing CT results in mere weeks!

There you are bobbing in the water, having surfed for 30 years and not a pro. 30 years and not a pro. Crazy, right? You’ve surfed an average of five hours a week during those thirty years which equals 7800 hours. Not what Malcolm Gladwell prescribed but close and you are no better a surfer then you were 27 years ago.

Oh those first three years were delightful and saw progression each and every second.

There you were riding straight on your belly in the whitewash. There you were getting to a knee while riding straight in the whitewash. There you were getting all the way to your feet and then, weeks later, motoring down the line. At that speed you were going to be a professional in no time. Fighting it out on the QS before getting a few wildcard entries before cementing yourself as a mainstay.


But as soon as you locked in a stuttering wrap to whitewash reentry all progression stopped. Ceased. Nothing.

And you have spent the past 27 years repeating stuttering wrap to whitewash reentries.

But then you read a quiet little article on Venice-adjacent’s favorite alternative lifestyles blog The Inertia succinctly titled This One Mistake Slows Down Most Beginning Surfers; Here’s The Simple Fix and it said:

This simple drill is called the Bird Dog and it can help you find better balance from a prone paddling position as part of my five-minute pre-surf warmup (you can get the entire warm up as a one-page cheat sheet here). By doing it regularly, you can also use it as a strength exercise for the core, upper back, and trunk.

Make sure that you focus your energy on using your core muscles, not the momentum of your arms or legs to complete reps. Do this slow and steady.

-Each motion should originate from your glutes, core muscles and shoulders.
-The goal is to keep everything tight and the hips steady throughout.
-Start on all fours, with the knees under your hips and palms directly under the shoulders.
-Look straight down at the floor with the chin tucked.
-Brace (contract) your stomach muscles (as you would instinctively protecting yourself from a punch).
-Lift one leg and extend it straight backward in line with your torso.
-Make sure you keep the glutes active (squeeze) and reach with your heel.
-In the meantime extend the opposite arm straight.
-Take a deep breath in the starting position and exhale during the motion.

If you find 3×8/side too easy, do it with a water bottle or light weight in your hand and put on leg weights. This will make it 10x more difficult and strengthen you further.

And it looked like this.

So now you think, “Look out John John Florence. I’m coming for you and hell is coming with me.”


Watch: New Andy Irons film trailer!

And release date!

There is little in our surfing world, at this moment, as hotly anticipated as the almost released Andy Irons documentary Kissed by God. That is was being made has been whispered for years. That it was going to someday come out whispered for more and now it has officially arrived. It is here.

The world premier is slated for Los Angeles’ New Regency Theater on May 2 and the film’s website says, first, as a description:

A film about bipolar disorder and opioid addiction as seen through the life of three-time world champion surfer Andy Irons. Andy struggled with the same demons that millions of people worldwide battle with daily. Andy was an incredible presence on the world stage as the “People’s Champion.”

And will be very interesting to see.

Margaret River: Surfer “Swiped” By 12-foot Shark!

Beaches closed until six pm Thursday…

If you live in Australia’s south-west, you might want to mothball the sleds for a few weeks, maybe a month, give a little room to all the feisty Great Whites.

Last night, at around at five-thirts, a surfer was “swiped” by a twelve-foot shark at South Point, across the bay from North Point. According to Perth Now, 

The Department of Primary Industries and Regional Development said the surfer was swiped by the tail of a 3.5 metre shark about 15 metres off Gracetown’s South Point yesterday.

The surfer was uninjured in the encounter, which happened about 5.30pm.

Beaches between North Point and Ellensbrook have been closed until at least 6pm on Thursday.

While boats can continue to use the water, surfers, swimmers and divers are being told to stay out of the water up to two kilometres out to sea.
You don’t need a reminder, I’m sure, about the Great White attack on Alejandro Travaglini at nearby Cobblestones nor the White attack on Jason Longgrass at Lefthanders a few hours after (which you can watch here). 
It really is the season of the shark. Stay tuned, I suppose, for tomorrow’s instalment.

Podcast: “That damned Wussy Sissy League!”

Is Jake "The Snake" Paterson the cure for what ails us?

I don’t follow astrology closely though do know that I am a Leo (in the western version) and a dragon (in the Chinese one).  It seems like a nice hand to have been dealt, as far as these things go, but would gladly trade both if I could be a snake. A slithery, slippery snake. For Jake “The Snake” Paterson is on a rocket ride to the top of our professional surf game remaking the very image of what a coach is supposed to do.

Tell me honestly. If you had enough skill to climb onto the World Championship Tour but needed a coach to stay there who would you choose? Charlie Medina and his fiery passion? Ross Williams and his cool detachment? Jake Paterson and his jumps and jives?

I think it isn’t even close. I think Jake Paterson is the only coach worth paying. Whether you loved or hated Zeke Lau’s demolition of John Florence it is a win that would not have occurred without coaching. And at the Margaret River Pro (RIP) Coach Snake videoed another charge, Mikey Wright, push fighting Jesse Mendes who I think is another charge. An amazing instinct, if you ask me, to not only film but post to Instagram for the world to see.

Jake is crafting drama in a world where drama and anything even remotely interesting is directly frowned upon. He is taking a wrecking ball to the bland and that is who I would want for my coach. A man willing to blow me up along with the system.

The prolific David Lee Scales and I chat about the Year of the Snake on today’s episode of Grit! and about how his approach is maybe the only way to bust up the Wussy Sissy League. We also chat hair pulling and neck tanlines. I think it is the best show yet but maybe I’m just drunk.

West Oz newspaper: Blame Gabriel Medina!

The Margaret River Pro was canceled last week but who's fault was it?

The Oi Rio Pro kicks off in just a two short weeks and can you even wait? Are you thrilled? I would imagine these days are going by very slowly for the powers at The World Surf League. The dust has almost settled from the near blanket coverage of the decision to cancel the Margaret River Pro. While, at some level, all exposure is good exposure, I’m sure the slight whiff of incompetence that accompanies the stories is… uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable and maybe sometimes downright painful. For yesterday, Western Australia’s leading newspaper published a story examining the reasons for the cancellation and concluded that it was mostly Brazilian surfer Gabriel Medina’s doing. Let’s read the choicest bits.

In an inflammatory post that day on his Instagram account, which has six million followers, Medina said he did not feel safe training or competing in Margaret River and he wanted his opinion known “before it’s too late”.

Remaining heats for the day were postponed, with surfers advised not to go in the water until the situation improved.

The decision (to ultimately cancel) is understood to have blind-sided the contest’s organisers at Surfing WA, who had spent the previous 36 hours doing everything they could to assuage the WSL’s concerns.

Among the measures they had proposed was a virtual armada of jet-skis, as well as extra drones to monitor the water and safety staff on standby for anything that might happen.

Nothing they could do would change the course.

In a further blow, Medina shortly after the announcement doubled down on his attack on the Pro, declaring he would “probably not come” to the event in 2019, even though it has another year on its current contract as a WCT contest.

The remarks are believed to have infuriated those who had worked miracles to keep the Margaret River Pro on the elite world tour.

Medina’s outburst dredged up memories of similar behaviour at the event in 2015, when the then reigning world champ refused to surf his heat at a break known as the Box, holding up the entire contest and its broadcast.

He would eventually surf the heat under threat of sanction from the WSL, before losing to local wildcard Jay Davies.

Mention was also made of the poll among WCT surfers about whether to return to Jeffreys Bay in 2016, when Medina was one of only two to vote against it.

Kelly Slater, the 11-time American world champ, this week mused about whether Medina’s real motive for attacking Margaret River might have a competitive edge.

The 24-year-old has a poor record at the stop, routinely finishing near the bottom of the draw.

By contrast, his great rival for the world title, Hawaiian prodigy John John Florence, excels at the event, having won there twice and proclaiming it one of his favourite stops on the tour.

“There are a few theories about who did and didn’t want to surf and the larger effects on the (world) rankings,” Slater said.

“The most vocal against haven’t had a great record at Margs so we can only be left to wonder if that played into the fear of surfing.”

Brazil is one of the world’s biggest surfing markets but, perhaps more importantly for the WSL, it is also a vital growth market, with a huge and increasingly surf-mad population.

Oooooeee! You catch all that? As the theory goes, Medina is not only too chicken to surf in Western Australia but also nastily undercutting his biggest competition at the same time. Such power for such a cleanly shaven man.

But you. What do you think? Is Gabriel Medina completely to blame or just a very easy scapegoat?