Is Jake "The Snake" Paterson the cure for what ails us?
I don’t follow astrology closely though do know that I am a Leo (in the western version) and a dragon (in the Chinese one). It seems like a nice hand to have been dealt, as far as these things go, but would gladly trade both if I could be a snake. A slithery, slippery snake. For Jake “The Snake” Paterson is on a rocket ride to the top of our professional surf game remaking the very image of what a coach is supposed to do.
Tell me honestly. If you had enough skill to climb onto the World Championship Tour but needed a coach to stay there who would you choose? Charlie Medina and his fiery passion? Ross Williams and his cool detachment? Jake Paterson and his jumps and jives?
I think it isn’t even close. I think Jake Paterson is the only coach worth paying. Whether you loved or hated Zeke Lau’s demolition of John Florence it is a win that would not have occurred without coaching. And at the Margaret River Pro (RIP) Coach Snake videoed another charge, Mikey Wright, push fighting Jesse Mendes who I think is another charge. An amazing instinct, if you ask me, to not only film but post to Instagram for the world to see.
Jake is crafting drama in a world where drama and anything even remotely interesting is directly frowned upon. He is taking a wrecking ball to the bland and that is who I would want for my coach. A man willing to blow me up along with the system.
The prolific David Lee Scales and I chat about the Year of the Snake on today’s episode of Grit! and about how his approach is maybe the only way to bust up the Wussy Sissy League. We also chat hair pulling and neck tanlines. I think it is the best show yet but maybe I’m just drunk.
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Glenn Hall?
love the enthusiasm for language, but david is way off base for suggesting that there’s something shameful about mispronouncing a word that you’ve only learned from reading. autodictacts (someone who is self-taught) should be celebrated.
re: other words old-school words that people often say wrong, i’d offer “buck naked” – everyone assumes its butt naked, as in we see your naked butt. but the former predates it by at least fifty years, probably more.
Tenterhooks
Fortnight
“Tongue in cheek” (as opposed to
“tongue and cheek”… I shudder in agony at the use of this.) “Entitled” instead of “titled” when referring to the name of a book, movie, song, etc. “Entitled” used this way… The very utterance makes me feel like starting a parking-lot shoving match with a mullet-haired snake charmer (in West Oz, natch).
Language is a constantly evolving system and there is no ‘wrong’
Hey Chas, thanks for the props you gave to the surf community in NJ. I grew up surfing in NJ and now surf/live in New England and I think your comments reflect what alot of people think when they visit the northeast US. Our weather is so shitty, and our surf so inconsistent that it creates unique drive and froth to actually get good waves when there is even only the slightest possibility. It also naturally removes many of the fluff surfers who are attracted to surfing for the image or the idea of surfing rather than the act itself. Leaving behind the truly dedicated. Northeast surfers love surfing in the northeast, but also love getting the fuck out and surfing somewhere with warm clear blue water too.
Could this be Chas’s pet peeve all rolled up in lyric form? The Bar Is Low song by Pissed Jeans
I’ve been described as good
Some have even said great
What have I done
To deserve such a fate
It just sure seems to be
Quite an easy bet
Those we adore just haven’t spilled their secrets yet
I never steal
I never fight
My anger’s locked up tight
You haven’t climbed a mountain
Barely walked up a hill
But that’s good as gold
Cause you’ve never killed
Held down a job
Even snagged a raise
Right there you’re due for
Effusive praise
I’m the picture
Of a noble guy
Now let me explain why
See I’ll tell you so
Oh I’ll tell you so
The bar is low
The bar is low
Why I don’t know
I just don’t know
The bar is low
The bar is low
Never been exposed
They’ll never know
The bar is low
The bar is low
Oh I told you so
Oh I told you so
The bar is low
The bar is
Yeah the bar is low
And it’s getting lower
The speed of evolution
Is getting slower
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
My take on the ‘pigdog’ thing is that frequently dogs of that build will sit kinda like that with one leg out and a forepaw centrally supporting their mass. Kinda like this: (first photo I could find to support theory)
https://goo.gl/images/ePACMo
In regards to the pig dog and I doubt that this has anything to do with surfing but I could
be wrong. In German there is a term “innerer schweinehund” which translates to inner pig dog. It refers to ones weaker self. I think we should bail on pig dog and adopt schweinehund because it sounds cool. Fuck it’s sunny here could really use some shades 🖕😎🖕
Hey Dave, I saw those stickers you got made on your instagram. I have always liked the ‘S’ logo, nice one. Now we have that out of the way. “Surfers Are The Worst”, hmmm nice try to be edgy, don’t know why each word is capitalised. Probably exaggerated by the font choice, but it looks shit, and not in a Brothers Marshall ironic shit way. But far and away the worst, I don’t know if someone got in your ear or if it was an immaculate conception. Who the hell thought your basic fucking hairdo is iconic enough to emblazon on a sticker. Further, why would anyone want to stick that anywhere near their personal belongings. I mean seriously, let me know if a single person takes one of those…
Zing
Surfers are the worst
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
You’re a lefty?
Thank God
Cry baby was a fucking terrible movie
That’s why it was great
Poor Occy confused the word “coach” with the word “couch” and look where it got him.
Occy is the first wog I know of to “work” past the age of 40 without tapping up CentreLink for compensation payments due to his back injury sustained working at his Nonno’s dodgy flower shop. Particularly noteworthy given he is a fat stump. Good on him I reckon.
Literal translation of Occhilupo is “wolf eyes”. By definition, a cunning, treacherous creature.
I think that back in the day surnames were handed down based on more physiological traits and that’s a reference to how close together his eyes are. The registrar was obviously too kind to call him Fuckeyes.
Occhifottere!
If only we knew yours
My name has been bastardised and no longer translates but it used to mean “the butcher” in French.
Abattoir? holy shit, you’re an Abberton aren’t ya?
That got too Aussie too quick. Fucken broaden your horizons Satan.
Satan is not known for his inclusive nature.
True, but I’ve always admired his intellect