"I still go hiking, I still catch rattle snakes, and I will still swim in the ocean."
There is little that gives me as much pleasure as he shit and the bickerings of the human world. I have tabloid fever bad and it is reflected, I think, in my choice of stories.
Earlier today, it was reported by every major news agency that Colorado man Dylan McWilliams, a part-time bodyboarder and “outdoor enthusiast”, had been hit by a tiger shark while on his lid in Kauai.
“I saw the shark underneath me. I started kicking at it – I know I hit it at least once –and swam to shore as quickly as I could,” Dyan told the BBC. “I didn’t know if I lost half my leg or what.”
Last July, while sleeping outdoors on a camping trip, Dylan, who is twenty years old, woke up with his head in the jaws of a bear.
“This black bear grabbed me by the back of the head, and I was fighting back, poking it in the eye until it let me go.” After stomping on Dylan the 300 pound bear walked off. Later, it was caught by park authorities where tests confirmed Dylan’s blood was under the bear’s fingernails. The animal was subsequently destroyed.
And three years ago, Dylan was attacked by a rattler while hiking in Utah.
“I was walking down a trail and I thought I kicked a cactus but couldn’t see one, and then saw a rattlesnake all coiled up. There was a little venom so I did get a bit sick for a couple of days. We have to respect [animals’] boundaries but I don’t think I was invading or provoking any of the attacks – they just happened.”
After the three-pack of bites, Dylan says he’s still enthral to the poetry of nature.
“I still go hiking, I still catch rattle snakes, and I will still swim in the ocean.”
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This guy’s scars are far cooler than any tattoo.
I am never going anywhere with that dude
Snakes and sharks a regular feature of many Strayan lineups and it’s also not uncommon to wake up with a beer in one’s hand. Waking up in a bear’s jaw however is particularly gnext level gnar. What a legend.
This guy is a trader right?
The lesson here is that bodyboarders taste good to many different types of bitey things.
Imagine how many things would attack him if he was body-boarding on a mountain trail!
Lucky threesome is my creedo. Otherwise known as ménage a trois
more shark stories. BTW THE day the Brazos hijacked the tour about sharks a guy got seriously mauled in Brazil….no safe place for the boys.
In Brazil do the sharks send a body part with the ransom request?
Surprised Laird didn’t rescue Dylan. Wouldn’t it be just fabulous to be rescued by Laird. Such a big, beautiful man don’t you think? I do.
Beautiful doesn’t spring to mind, no, more an attractive in a fuck-you-against-the-wall sorta way.
His personality is certainly beautiful.
So much male erotica today mate. Fair comment though. His wife is built like a brick shithouse.
“Attacked by rattler” – may happen if you continually try to catch them!!
Or kick them with a cactus
Derek, what is “he-shit” and how does it give you pleasure? Please tell me this slip is Freudian! Don’t pray it away!
Even if it’s Freudian, he is in deep shit…
You wicked man, jumping onto my typo.
He-shit is the little known consequence of being attacked by a wild animal and surviving. It is either the leftovers in the shorts or the drivel you speak about ‘respecting animal’s boundaries’.