Six hundred bucks buys three-day "privileged" pass with meet-and-greets and all the booze you can drink…
Are you packing for Rio? For tour event number four?
Are you willing to raise the coffin lid of your Californian boredom with a shrivelled white hand to go to the city where, as Vincent Cassel, said, “People still live with “a big charge of poetry on a daily basis?”
Forget museums, it’s a beach.
And, as revealed today by the Brazilian promotions company IMR MKT, you can buy access to an ultra-VIP “and privileged” area for as little as $US230 per day (rounds one to three) and up to $US340 for the quarters through to the final.
You want the whole event in your gilded cage? A little less than $US600.
IMR MKT, whose social media footprint is as light as a mouse which does ring a faint alarm bell, promises,
An open bar with beer, soda and snacks.
A meet-and-gree with professional athletes.
A tour of the contest site.
Exclusive photo wiht the trophy.
Photo in the podium area.
Gifts.
Exclusive awards area.
An open bar with beer, soda and snacks. (Just in case you missed it.)
It sure beats the theatre of the “media area” where anyone with a pen and laptop is shunted away from meaningful or even accidental contact with “professional athletes”.
How about you?
Would you peel off a couple of c-notes for a day at the beach, with the beer, the soda, the snacks and the meet-and-greet?
And what would you say in your meet-and-greet?
And who would you enjoy being met and greeted by?
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Nah fuck that. I’ll head down the bottle-o for a slab, cruise down to West’s and sink a couple with the Knights and grab a bag of twisties. Save at least 400 notes. I realise the Knights are shit, but at least they’re not Brazzos…
Couldn’t pay me to meet Medina.
If this is where drunk Brazzo’s will be, then I would like to be on the polar opposite of that location.
Heading that way in June 👍
Looking forward to the comparison. Lonely surfing onshore in WA, vs. sharing with the caring hordes of Queenslanders in onshore GC.
I’d like to be meet and greet by Joe Turpel and have him then introduce Pottz to me as ’89 world champ Martin Potter
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
It should include a shoving match with Jesse Mendes. I want the real brazo experience!
A sucker is born every minute
http://www.brainlesstales.c…
Lochte
If the price included a return flight from my shark infested WA home,I’d consider it. Purely just to get pissed and look at Brazilian chicks.
What is this a WSL money making 101?? AS fucking if any pro wants to rub shoulders with pissed idiots in a VIP area whilst concentrating having to dodge turds in the water as well.
Bets on “open bar” any punter will last 60 mins max, before getting turfed, robbed, rooted up the arse, stabbed then left in a hole in the sand.
BUT shit if they get 60 idiots in there – $36K some good earn.
Every event will have “NEW” VIP area moving forward, with these corporate packages the new norm I am guessing.
Ultra-VIP ticket to WSL in rio- $600
seeing a corpse wash up on the beach and contracting cholera.- priceless
Or maybe robbed, shot and dumped in the ocean on the way to privileged area!
I would hope” privileged area” would be more ladies locker room than special school, its a misleading term.
Joel getting robbed, shot and dumped in the ocean
Or get caught up in the middle of a school shooting… every week…
Oops! Oh no… sorry… wrong country…
So, who kills more people each year – Great Whites or gangsters in Rio? By the stats there is no way they should run the Rio Pro…….
US over maybe… 100 years? 80years or 70 years bringing little justice…
Meat & great
If you sling them a few extra notes do you get to take one of them home? Like, one of the shit ones that no-one will miss? I’ve got a generic Brazilian shaped space in my garden shed and a length of rubber hose I don’t know what to do with.
Oh god, it’s good to have you back…
More difficult to hide from the wife than a new board, though. They don’t last long without proper feeding and cleaning out.
Fuck. You meant a board, didn’t you. I thought by ”shit ones which no one would miss’ you meant steal Ian Gouveia. I once stole Flavio Paradatz.
Sir, I must defend Gouveia’s honor. He performed in a most exemplary fashion at Margies before the dratted Carchardon phallusisimus ruined the show.
Tally ho!
No, no, you were right. I meant exactly Ian Gouveia.
Save your money, get Chaz to fax them your name. Ask LongTom.
Does he keep a middling Brazilian pro in a shed as a sex pet?
Fer you or yer missus? ( so you can go surfing)
Open door policy.
Wow.
BTW you do Machrihanish much?
I used to, and still do on occasion as my parents live a short ferry ride away. Was my nearest spot growing up but generally not worth the drive these days. Easterly winds accompanied by W swell are pretty rare. In saying that, it was absolutely pumping 2 weeks ago!
I never made it. Seemed a drive too far fae the east coast when my attempts locally ended in typically lacklustre pish-weak results.
And the waves were no better.
I’m thinking this will be surfing’s version of Fyre festival, but with better drugs and worse waves.
Don’t forget jail time for the organizer! (and possibly jah rule)
Wow, this is really awful. Exclusive photo with the trophy. Fuck.
But very good to show potential mates and, later, grandchildren, non?
Is this how people make friends? I need to learn, I have none. 1 ticket please!
I would consider it if I could dangle my balls in the cup for the photo.
Let’s crowdfund that.