It ain't what y'think…
It’s hardly news by now that Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch was closed in November for what you would’ve supposed to be a bathymetric renovation. Raise the vinyl-covered bottom a little here, a little there, make it hollower, faster and so forth.
It reopened a couple of weeks ago with its usual drip-feed of footage, the most significant, or exciting, tour rookie Griffin Colapinto’s tuberiding (and clean fin-throw to tube) there.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bh4BlRtHGsQ
But what was presumably a makeover of the man-made sea’s bottom was actually nothing of the sort. The bottom is static.
Instead, says Kelly, it’s “tuning of speeds and water depths. Just like a pool or lake, water depth just changes by taking out or adding water. Speed of wave matches the foil and whatever angle it comes off the foil.”
Get that? A little more volume in the pool, change the angle of the foil.
And the tube of Griff? Is the shape and length of the tube different?
“Not real different. It was probably a first wave after long pause and super calm. I was surprised he made it ’cause he was so deep. Really cool.”
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bh4BlRtHGsQ/?hl=en&taken-by=griffin_cola
Does USC scientist, Adam Fincham, the man who, in 2006, began to breathe life into Kelly’s outrageous dream with the use of parallel super computers, oversee these changes?
“He’s constantly helping with tweaks,” says Kelly. “He’s committed to making sure waves are consistently working right.”
I wondered, how many waves has Kelly caught in the pool?
“Not as many as you’d assume,” he says. “I generally surf less than anyone on days I’m there. Last week I probably surfed a half or third of what the other guys were surfing, maybe even less.”
When I was at the joint, I was struck by two things: the size of the pool – almost as long as Bondi Beach or 700 metres – and the empty man-made lake next to it. Back when Kelly and co bought the current lake in the first place, the owner who is a keen wakeboarder, I was told, wanted to retain one of ’em.
If he’d sold, would Surf Ranch have been twice and wide?
Bigger, hollower?
“The sheer scale freaked us out enough with just one,” says Kelly. “We just didn’t all the possibilities of future design.”
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Wow, lucky they have a genius like Fincham helping them, cause no surfer would ever think volume of water in the pool would make any difference. Sorta like high and low tides having no effect on real waves. And also the foil pitch…oh like swell direction….thanks Fincham.
Has Ronnie moved on from Mick in his corner to Griff? Has he got him a Redbull deal yet so he can stage amazing PR events? Can he still continue to commentate whilst spruiking “his” athletes?
Does that board look kinda flat to anybody else? V low entry rocker.
Maybe just my eyeses. Ooooh me poor creakin old eyesze.
Toasters aren’t renound for their observational skills.
Professional surfers ride boards with comparatively low entry rocker and comparatively high back end rocker (not so much just in the tail but through the last third of the board).
Maybe my eyes aren’t so bad.
Shows how much I know about professional surfing. I though they rocked mad rockers.
mebe that was just back in the the banana board days.
Well he hasn’t solved the jetski problem yet.
Do they follow every ride ?
Yes. Yes they do. It takes a while to get used to. Skis are big heavy powerful craft, having one that close to you while riding a wave is a real distraction. The train thing, however, isn’t. It’s just like surfing near a pier.
May I please ask Mista Nick. Why the fuck does that ski has to shadow the rider in every wave?
I kinda understand why the train does: Something something something ‘physics’ etc.
But the ski?
I think it’s a safety thing. Also you can video the surfer on your iPhone.
they make electric jetskis now. maybe someone should tell surf ranch? at least it would be quiet.
The ski is not the problem. Raimana yelling as if the best surfers in the world don’t know what to do next is.
I dunno… any jet ski is pretty fucking annoying by nature.
elon musk is knocking up an electric one specially for kelly but I heard its been delayed by a bottle neck at the plant. I can relate to being delayed by a bottle or two but I usually wait til after work.
Big loud ugly train , jet ski and yelling . Great wave shit environment.
Well boys, take a good long, long look, cause that’s all your ever gonna get, unless you’ve got an extra 10 grand somewhere.
Looks fun. I’m definitely sold. Put me down for 2 please Kelly.
Anyone else see the shark in the second video? About the 28 second mark? Can’t believe they’re still putting sharks in the tank in this day and age. Fuck.
I’ve looked closely and it’s definitely a Dolphin you can just make out the Tail moves up and down not side to side. It lines up with rumours Kelly’s rescuing them from Sea World and adding them to his tank to help give Surf Ranch a more ocean like vibe.
Sorry, you’re right. I’m just a bit jumpy after Margs.
In my day, when you threw the fins into reverse, you had to ride the pit backwards or risk getting legroped to a telephone pole. Kids these days have got it easy.
Was this in the late 80’s? ’89 to be exact?
Joe?
Fuck this grom at my old local back in the momentum days had developed this fkn twitch on his forehand where he’d just race every section with his back arm doin this circular window washing action ala Kalani Robb. Fkn ridiculous.
He saw his fair share of being leg roped to the fence, catchin the cunt in the shorey on the paddle out and having his offending arm punched till it was dead and speared head first wheelie bin dumpings into week old prawns before he learnt to keep his arms down.
Wow. That was a shit story. What kind of weird ass surf clan were you apart of? Was it for his own good? Does his arm still swing? Do you serve him at McDonald’s nowadays?
I knew you’d track me down eventually.
We can answer all of these questions over a happy meal of course.
There’s an older bloke round here who’s back arm does all his directional shifting. Looks like he is surfing in reverse. No hope for him changing though…
Is that you polite term for ‘reach arounds’?
Just askin.
Nah, we prefer to confront our prey head-on. Wait, is this still the shark thread?