Amendment: Surfing’s best brother combination!

Thank you for your understanding.

Shit. Hell. Damn it. What did I do? I mean what did the Committee on Choosing the Best Brother Combinations in Surfing do? Clearly they failed by announcing that Justin and Chris Cote were winners. Clearly they fucked up.

I mean, I personally know that Justin and Chris Cote are deserving but how could the Committee forget Nick and Tom Carroll?

Like, how?

All they had to do was read the first paragraph of each of their entries in the Encyclopedia of Surfing and let us do that together now.

Nick Carroll

High-output Australian surf journalist and editor from Newport, New South Wales; Surfing magazine editor from 1993 to 1996; Deep magazine editor from 1997 to 2000; regarded by many since the mid-’80s as the sport’s most popular and knowledgeable writer.

Tom Carroll

Dynamic and durable power surfer from Sydney, Australia; world champion in 1983 and 1984, and one of the sport’s premier tuberiders. Carroll was born (1961) in Sydney, the son of a newspaper editor, raised in the beachfront suburb of Newport, and began surfing at age eight, a few months after his mother died of pancreatic cancer. Hawaiian style master Gerry Lopez was an early influence on Carroll, as was hard-turning local surfer Col Smith.

I’ve been around the Encyclopedia of Surfing long enough to know that Matt Warshaw writes the best first paragraph, first few words even, in not only surf but history. He boils everything down to its purest essence.

Nick Carroll is a high-output Australian surf journalist. Tom Carroll is a dynamic and durable power surfer from Sydney. Derek Rielly is a bright and mischievous surf journalist, originally from Perth, Western Australia. I am a bright, hyper-ironic surf journalist, author, and bon vivant from Coos Bay, Oregon.

Justin and Chris Cote don’t even have entries.

Maybe it is just ego speaking but Warshaw’s catalog is worth subscribing to, if you haven’t already, for the first word of each entry alone.

Do it today asshole!

What was I writing about again?

Subscribe to the Encyclopedia of Surfing here!

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Revealed: Surfing’s best brother combination!

He ain't heavy! He's my brother!

Ain’t family grand? A wonderful admixture of parts and pieces that you have absolutely no control over. There you are, born one day, to a mother and a father whose genetic code makes up your very own and if you are lucky then brothers and sisters too. Maybe you like them, maybe you don’t but in this one matter your opinion does not change anything. They are yours. All of them are yours and forever. And ever.

It feels that this moment in professional surfing is particularly rich with good brothers and, thankfully, we have science to figure out which current set is best. So let’s rank in order from worst to winner.

Eric and Evan Geiselman

These two brothers make Florida look good and this alone guarantees a spot on the list but the Geiselman’s are more than just south east ambassadors. They both surf very well and have both surfed very well for many years, popping up time and again in various social feeds and surf-centric websites making airs or carving boisterously. They are handsome, too, and seem like they enjoy each other’s company. You can watch them here.

CJ and Damien Hobgood

Are like the quintessential brothers because they are identical twins but also forever fixtures in our surf constellation. CJ has, of course, won a world title. Damo is every surfer’s wet dream. They rode the foamball of industry largesse though the 2000 and got spit out into even better careers afterward with Salty Crew etc. The Hobgoods are the brothers you wish you were instead of the brother you are.

Mike and Owen Wright

Australia’s most famous pair since Ned and Dan Kelly, the Wrights beacons of family pride. Each brother has his own accomplishments, I think, but together they are a complete package. Owen, the clean-cut athlete. Mike, the rebel without a care. Right? I don’t really know but in my mind this is what they are each making up for the other’s lack. When Owen loses his hair in the front Mike grows his in the back. Etc. Right?

Nathan and John Florence

All the five Florence brothers should be included here (Ivan, Jamie O’Brien, Grayson Fletcher) but we are focusing on pairs and this pair oooooooeee. Seriously. John is the two time world champion and Nathan just paddled into some of the bigger waves I have ever seen recently during the famed Fiji swell of ’18. He surfed it on a Pyzel Padillac and I spent much of last evening thinking that “Padillac” is a great name for a surfboard. If you had to pick only two brothers to take around the world and be impressive Nathan and John would be hard to beat. Hard to beat if it weren’t for the Cotes.

Justin and Chris Cote

These two are basically why the surf industry still exists. Without them, and their tireless zeal, surfing would have turned into professional log rolling long ago and so it is with pride that I announce Justin and Chris Cote as the best brother combination in the game. Feast on them.

 

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Zeke Lau Keramas
Zeke laid down the biggest hammer of the event, a huge layback gouge that is the one thing worth your time searching for in the Heat Analyzer and it was all over. The rest of the heat was like watching a python strangle a rat. A very clear power imbalance. 

Day 3, Keramas: “Like watching a python strangle a rat!”

Zeke Lau lays down hammer of the event…

How y’like the drip feed of Keramas? Me? Chinese water torture.

I’m on a fee not a day rate, probably like Strider, so more days = less money/day. 

Note to intern surf writers: get the day rate and a per diem.

Things move fast in the surf world but remember back to the heady days of the Founders’ Cup and BeachGrit’s exhaustive coverage? Sure you do. D. Rielly, BeachGrit principal laid down the closing statement declaring the beachbreak contest was dead. Then Brazil jumped out of the grave declaring rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated etc etc. 

Six heats a day before the wind kills it, four good ones and two duds, is hardly going to excite the Michelob and oxy-quaffers in Baton Rouge, let alone get Sophie’s juices flowing after the huge success of the CBS broadcast deal.

What if it’s the Indonesian reefbreak contest, a unicorn almost as magical as the non-surfing pro surfing fan, that is stillborn? 

Six heats a day before the wind kills it, four good ones and two duds, is hardly going to excite the Michelob and oxy-quaffers in Baton Rouge, let alone get Sophie’s juices flowing after the huge success of the CBS broadcast deal. 

Can you recall even further back to the days of the Oakley Pro Junior in Bali which morphed into the Oakley Classic, the 2013 CT event last held in Bali? The Pro Junior was held in October and featured two comp sites: Keramas and Canggu.

Did you know that Oakley were ready to ink a three-year deal to continue the Oakley Bali Pro but the new WSL played such hardball on the deal they walked? That is straight from the horse’s mouth, from a high-level Oakley source.

The south-east trade blows straight into the right at Canggu and assuming the Euro hipsters are amenable to clearing the water it is one of the most conducive waves to huge aerials in the whole entire surfing world. Does it not make sense to follow that tried and true formula: run a half-dozen heats at Keramas in the morning and then spend an hour or two relocating to Canggu for another half-dozen at least heats in the arvo?

Did you also know, while we’re riffing on the subject, that Oakley were ready to ink a three-year deal to continue the Oakley Bali Pro but the new WSL played such hardball on the deal they walked? That is straight from the horse’s mouth, from a high-level Oakley source. 

That leaves us with another truncated wrap of a short day. To wit:

Strider’s people reached out to me and told me how pumped he was on the props yesterday. Emboldened even. He came out like a Brahmin bull from the territory scrub, pawing the floor of the booth and snorting, disgusted that Fred and Ian Gouveia were sitting too deep on the reef to start the day. He heaped faint praise on Fred’s very meat and potatoes surfing and was very disgruntled that the rodeo flip he’d predicted Gouevia would pull did not come to pass in light onshore but rippable bowls. 

Wilko looked like a mate of mine, Bali veteran, who every afternoon would visit a salon where he would partake of enhanced oxygen therapy (it is a thing), a massage with happy ending and then come bounding into the bar like a kangaroo with a fire cracker up its Jap’s eye.

Wilko went ballistic. Combo-ed Duru and Strider was so on fire with the call he sent Duru into the deep freeze with half a heat to go, like a euthanizsed lobster. Wilko looked like a mate of mine, Bali veteran, who every afternoon would visit a salon where he would partake of enhanced oxygen therapy (it is a thing), a massage with happy ending and then come bounding into the bar like a kangaroo with a fire cracker up its Jap’s eye. I do not condone that mode of being. Merely note its effects. 

Mendes and Kanoa surfed a good heat. Fun to watch, tight. With Mendes surfing faster and more explosively than Igarashi to take the win.

A light offshore magically appeared in the next heat between Zeke and Patty Gudang. The waves went dreamy and buttery, sun out. The more I see of Pat the more I hear AM Radio: too much static, too much treble. Not enough bass. 

Zeke laid down the biggest hammer of the event, a huge layback gouge that is the one thing worth your time searching for in the Heat Analyzer and it was all over. The rest of the heat was like watching a python strangle a rat. A very clear power imbalance. 

M-Rod and Dora both took to the skies with low make rates, though Dora did stick one nice air which the judges correctly deemed not enough. 

Hermes beat  Connor O’Leary with QS surfing. Praise be to God. 

I guess we will rinse and repeat tomorrow. 

Corona Bali Protected Remaining Men’s Round 2 Results:
Heat 7: Frederico Morais (PRT) 12.07 def. Ian Gouveia (BRA) 8.43
Heat 8: Matt Wilkinson (AUS) 14.94 def. Joan Duru (FRA) 7.00
Heat 9: Jesse Mendes (BRA) 12.33 def. Kanoa Igarashi (JPN) 10.56
Heat 10: Ezekiel Lau (HAW) 15.57 def. Patrick Gudauskas (USA) 8.67
Heat 11: Michael Rodrigues (BRA) 11.40 def. Yago Dora (BRA) 11.27
Heat 12: Tomas Hermes (BRA) 12.66 def. Connor O’Leary (AUS) 11.34

Corona Bali Protected Men’s Round 3 Matchups:
Heat 1: John John Florence (HAW) vs. Jesse Mendes (BRA)
Heat 2: Michel Bourez (PYF) vs. Ezekiel Lau (HAW)
Heat 3: Owen Wright (AUS) vs. Willian Cardoso (BRA)
Heat 4: Adrian Buchan (AUS) vs. Michael Rodrigues (BRA)
Heat 5: Matt Wilkinson (AUS) vs. Griffin Colapinto (USA)
Heat 6: Julian Wilson (AUS) vs. Mikey Wright (AUS)
Heat 7: Gabriel Medina (BRA) vs. Michael February (ZAF)
Heat 8: Frederico Morais (PRT) vs. Jeremy Flores (FRA)
Heat 9: Jordy Smith (ZAF) vs. Conner Coffin (USA)
Heat 10: Italo Ferreira (BRA) vs. Tomas Hermes (BRA)
Heat 11: Adriano de Souza (BRA) vs. Joel Parkinson (AUS)

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Kooks
Surfing makes me fly like a kite.

5 (More) Signs You’re a Filthy Kook!

Do you have a chicken wing or aussie sprinter pop-up?

Surfing ain’t easy. Worse than not-easy. It’s impossible. Until those pretty pools come online across the world, only way you’re gonna get to a level that ain’t shameful is thousands of hours in the ocean.

And who’s got the time? And the access?

Mal Gladwell’s 10,000 rule? You can quadruple it for surf, at least. Two hours in a skate park will yield ten times the practise.

And, therefore, we’re kooks. All of us.

Hesitant unbent knees. Straight backs. Tepid horizontal lines.

But are you a filthy kook? A state of being where your awkwardness marries to a grand delusion? You might remember the story, 10 Signs You’re a Filthy Kook. 

Here are five more.

  1. You talk about your “Pop”. I didn’t know “Pop” existed until beginner surfers started offering advice to other beginners. Stories like, “5 Exercises to Improve Pop Up Mobility and Strength, “Learn the Two Basic Ways to Master your Pop Up” and “Chicken Wing or Aussie Sprinter Pop Up” reveal a world of mega-kookdom, of surfers with lips pushed out in concentration doing push-ups and dumbbell training at home, thigh-gates spread, fists clenched.          
  2. You pull back on a set and believe, truly believe, you can paddle for the one behind it. Have you seen this in real life? It’s a sight to behold, like a stained window in a medieval church. So bold and yet so out of place within its surroundings.
  3. Wave heights are described in metres. This might be a little cruel towards our European brothers who don’t know any better but just as surfboards remain imperial, so does wave height. No wave is two-metres. Heights allowed include, one, two, three, four, five, six, eight, ten, twelve, fifteen, eighteen, twenty, twenty-five, thirty, thirty-five, forty, fifty, eighty and one hundred.
  4. You ride a longboard without a leash. Ain’t nobody alive who don’t lose a board occasionally. You want someone’s kid to wear an eye patch?
  5. You call slow mid-face direction changes a “wrap”. Do you refer to those things you do where you steer your surfboard back toward the direction you came from a… wrap? If it occurs more than once on wave do you call ’em “multiple wraps”? I remember, once, the head judge of the WSL telling me there were only a few people in the world who could actually complete a genuine frontside “wrap.” Jordy Smith was one. Mick Fanning another. Where do you fit in the pantheon of wraps?
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Revealed: Damo Hobgood the surfer “wet dream!”

The answer was right in front of our faces all along!

I have spent the better part of my adult life pondering who the ideal surfing male is. Like, not just who rips but who rips and is handsome and a gentleman with above average personal grooming and style. Which surfing male is the complete package? The “wet dream” so to speak? The conservative choice is Kelly Slater, obviously, with his 11 x world titles and bronze skin but Kelly seems… I don’t know… a little bit preoccupied with Kelly don’t you think? The ideal surfing male cares about you. Wants to hear your problems. Wants to make you a better person.

And so it was with a forehead slapping “duh” that I received today’s revelation that Damien Hobgood is the one, the “wet dream.” Of course he is. Damo has everything. He’s a fearless surfer with some of the best clips in some of the best surf films of the decade. His style is definably his and he’s got a smile that will warm up the coldest room. He also wants to make you a better surfer and let us read the newest offering from Leucadia, California’s extremely cute Surfhouse on the Adventure Sports Network.

What can surfers expect to get out of a three-day surf coaching experience with Damo?

It’s every surfer’s wet dream … Hands-on professional coaching with a surfing legend. The Damo Experience is for surfers who are looking to advance their skills with a pro.

These semi-private guiding sessions – followed up with live video analysis of technique and style – are meant to really elevate a surfer’s ability quickly. Surfers can expect three nights accommodations plus food, three guided surf sessions, video analysis, custom surf video edit and airport transfers.

Can surfers of any level enroll in the Damo Experience? Or should their surfing ability be at a moderate level?

The Damo Experience is intended for surfers who have a decent foundation of surfing ability, however Surfhouse does offer a five-day intensive surf program for those who are beginners and looking to start from the ground up.

Book here!

But before I let you go, “experiences” are clearly trending for today’s savvy traveler. Besides this one here, do you see yourself buying “experiences” on your next vacation? Airbnb and the WSL have partnered this year to bring over 75 surfing related “experiences” to the people. Is this trend here to stay or will “experiences” go the way of GoogleGlass?

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