Wall to wall bull sharks…
You heard of South Straddie? You know the name, right? That man-made collection of often outrageously good beachbreaks on the north side of the Southport Seaway on Queensland’s Gold Coast?
In a north-west wind, and with even just a little swell, whee-baby.
Getting there ain’t as simple as parking a car, suiting up and paddling off the beach, howevs. Between you and the waves is a two hundred metre paddle across what is, according to rumour, a shark-filled body of water between the two rock groynes.
Options.
You either pay five bucks or whatever it is and get the ferry (con: you feel like a sissy to travel two hundred metres in a boat) or you take your panties off and jump in, dodge the fishing trawlers, and get there yourself.
I lived on that otherwise god-forsaken coast for a decade and, most mornings, I’d drive thirty minutes north to the seaway, dive in and get an hour of thin-lipped cabanas before work. Early in my tenure there, if I didn’t have a pal to paddle across with, I’d tail a couple of other surfers. Before long, I was solo, but still very scared.
Once, as a surf magazine prank, we made a pro surfer swim across the channel with a fish tied to his leg.
So how sharky is the seaway paddle?
As revealed by the Gold Coast Bulletin yesterday, the joint really is crawling with bull sharks.
It is a picture that would strike terror into anyone who frequents the waters near the Gold Coast Seaway.
A pack of bull sharks are seen scouring the sea floor while the boardriders who paddle across to South Stradbroke Island are blissfully unaware of what lies beneath.
But a veteran Gold Coast diver believes the photo should be celebrated, not feared.
Ian Banks took the amazing image while on a solo dive outside the mouth of the seaway last Monday.
“This photo shows that the seaway has a healthy ecosystem of marine life,” he said.
“The area is a gathering point not just for sharks but rays and fish too.”
The 60-year-old now lists the seaway as his favourite place to dive.
“It is a very special place,” he said.
“From a diving point a view it is the best mainland shore dive in any city in Australia.
“There’s not one reef in this area that comes within one per cent of the big fish that the Seaway has.”
Ain’t that reassuring.
Ha ha I remember it! you made Neil purchase junior swim across for a pinaple. Gold.
The Bonfire of the vanities is legit one of the most entertaining books ever.
Strad is filled with brazzos who think they own the place these days, hopefully the sharks can help thin the crowd
I laid a brick in the seawall before I paddled across.
My MudButt literally Shat on SharkBanz
Great deterrent
I lived at Uni Accomodation here on the Gold Coast and I used to force all the new international and aussie students who surfed to come paddle the seaway instead of taking the boat. The first time we ever paddled it we got circled by a bullie but other than that we’d see the occasional one jump in front of us chasing fish but thankfully no one ever got bumped in the few years we did it.
I used to force things into international students when I was at uni too.
Was it Trent Munro you made swim the seaway? Or was he forced to go goat-boating? My memory is a little hazy…
Neil purchase jr
Very brave he was!
Ah… gotta love those rays.
Just don’t touch them with your Irwin, and you’ll be fine.
Just dont try and finger one..
Think of the chewing you’d get if you painted yer knob to look like a crab.
Alas, I’ll never know…
Ah sorry.
What are you feelings about myliobatoid cunnilingus?
Any hole’s the goal!
those little sharks have a very good diet of rich cunts dogs. So many dogs go missing in these estuaries, why would they bother with hunting surfers. Plus, when swimming across, I was always worried about being run over by some cunt in a boat.
So much entertainment, having an abundance of bulls in the canals. https://www.goldcoastbullet…
fuck I hate Robina.
I’ve heard they can survive on the used dinga’s that cunts flush down the dunnie. One of natures beauties!
One of the few creatures that have evolved the ability to digest latex
I saw an early twenties something Jew in Birkenstocks get swept down the estuary at Tamarindo screaming about crocodiles. That was pretty fucken funny. I’ve never seen sharks on the surface in the Seaway which is kinda weird. I’d always heard they were there. Paddle it though. Only Brazzo’s take the boat.
Sharks in the ocean? Fuck me! When did that happen?
Recently!
Thank God, I thought I had missed something.
This is my least favorite response to anything shark related,
Wonderful. Your most favourite?
The one about death by coconuts, driving to the beach, lighting strike, etc. being comparable
Comparable? Oh no, coconuts kill way more surfers than sharks!
I’d paddle the Seaway 10 times before I’d paddle to South Wall Ballina.
I wonder out aloud, Longtom, do you South Wall paddle or do you climb aboard the ferry?
last time I paddled, late arvo in May, I got so tangled up in a massive school of mullet I almost crapped myself. There and back. Now, ferry.
Yep exactly the same. I’ve seen a few sharks in there growing up but always convinced myself it was the hydroponic skunk cones from the night before playing tricks on me. Fuck south wall Ballina that place scares the shit out of me.
Well that’s where ya went wrong mate, hydro skunk is best served before breaky thru a two litre bucket bong
Ian Banks must have a mighty pair of stones on him