The Panda wins Uluwatu CT, moves to fifth in the
world!
Huge day for pro surfing. Ginormous.
Can we start with a little rhapsody on the utility of Uluwatu as
a locale for Pro Surfing? Good. It’s a poor mans G-Land, which is
good. Leave G-Land alone. Gland is wasted on Pro surfers. Leave it
for the gimlet-eyed tube freaks of the World.
You can ride it, Ulus that is, at any size, at any tide.
Racetrack is fun at three foot. Outside Corner is majestic at
ten-foot. There are short punchy rides, medium rides and long,
complex multi-chaptered rides. The tradewind is welcomed as a
friend – the way one monkey on the cliff welcomes another to groom
and pick out lice – not an unruly intruder.
There are other sections of the wave for rec surfers to ride.
You can get up to Temples or maybe sneak a few at Racetracks if
they are up at the peak.
Ulus is good enough to be a canvas for all kinds of performance
surfing and imperfect and variable enough to be challenging in any
given 30 minute heat.
In short, with Cloudbreak off the schedule it’s the best venue
on Tour.
Perfunctory round three heats were completed to start the
morning. Yago Dora surfed a good heat but Filipe stuck a half Hail
Mary air to get a win. Duru looked silky to easily account for an
ageing and off-the-pace Joel Parkinson. Mikey, of course, got a
walk through.
Have you noticed a fact about round four, three-man elimination
heats that is becoming more glaring with each contest? They have
more drama. Every round four heat saw multiple lead changes.
In fact, if my notes are not mistaken, each saw complete
reversals in fortune. Last place into first and first place into
last. Owen’s spice-laden frontside whips looked money in heat one
but he ended up in last place. Kolohe waited until the far back end
of the heat to get started and took first place.
M’Rod was sizzling in heat two, “hot and loose” according to
Joe. He changed up his board and somehow went from first to last in
a heat with Julian and Connor Coffin.
The strange symmetry continued in both heats three and four.
Medina did the best surfing on the worst waves. He found a long
time tunnel for a big score and went from last to first.
Cardoso went from first to last and then fought back to
eliminate a desperately unlucky O’Leary.
For the first time this year I was starting to dig on the
Panda’s attack. Instead of slow ponderous faux-power hacks he was
generating big-time momentum between turns and crushing
lips.
Toledo’s opening wave of heat four was a heinous underscore, the
first of a few shocking misreads from the panel. A 5.67 that should
have been in the sevens.
Toledo’s opening wave of heat four was a heinous underscore, the
first of a few shocking misreads from the panel. A 5.67 that should
have been in the sevens.
Mikey Wright looked scratchy and boggy to my eye but scraped his
way through.
People always ask me why I’m so horny for Brazilian goofyfoots.
Gabes presser during the aforementioned heat reminded me
why.
Kaipo reminded him if he went to the finals he’d be surfing four
times today and what he thought about that. Gabe visibly shrugged
and responded, “Thats what I train for.” I could have hugged
him.
I detest this namby-pamby false stoicism of the over-paid pro.
Australian, American, South African.
The second quarter between Julian and Jordy was the heat of the
event. Jordy was magnificent, the best six-feet-and-under surfer in
the world, on any given day. The form surfer of the day. Judges
kept overcooking Julian’s scores for what were sometimes blatant
score manufactures.
When I lay me down to sleep at night I lay awake dreaming and
scheming about how I can grind my competitors into the dust.
Posit a hypothetical scenario where Surf Writing is a late
inclusion into the 2020 Olympics at Tokyo. I face off with the
great Louie Samuels in the semis after he narrowly defeats D Rielly
in the quarters. What’s he got: Better writing, nicer sentences,
sharper wit. What do I got: Stronger backstory, bigger themes,
bolder ideas. I take him in a cliff-hanger and Nick Carroll who
controversially missed out on inclusion into the Australian team*
is doing the pressers.
“How’d ya do it Shearer, how’d ya take him?”
“I knew all that gravy suckling on the Silicon Valley teat would
make him a little complacent, so I hit him in that soft little
belly”.
Know what I mean? I identify with the hunger.
Thats why I train.
Exactly.
Unfortunately, that hunger could not mask a lack of form for
Medina and a sleepy lineup. If I had to describe Medina’s surfing
this year in a word it would be brittle. Brittle and fractious and
constituted of lots of disconnected moments of brilliance that he
can’t seem to link together into a chain through space and time. He
fell on an opening wave against Mikey Wright which could have been
a winning wave. Then scrapped together scores in a sleepy heat.
Mikey pegged a six then waite and waited and with 20 seconds to go
cobbled together another scrappy wave.
The second quarter between Julian and Jordy was the heat of the
event. Jordy was magnificent, the best six-feet-and-under surfer in
the world, on any given day. The form surfer of the day. Judges
kept overcooking Julian’s scores for what were sometimes blatant
score manufactures.
Did he get the score? I said no. Judges said yes. What do you
put that down to? A mixture of composure, luck and and out-of-form
opponent.
The second quarter between Julian and Jordy was the heat of the
event. Jordy was magnificent, the best six-feet-and-under surfer in
the world, on any given day. The form surfer of the day. Judges
kept overcooking Julian’s scores for what were sometimes blatant
score manufactures.
Kolohe got absolutely cooked by this phenomenon. He was clearly
the better surfer, on the better waves doing the better surfing
against Julian in semi one. It seemed that at some sub-conscious
level they were going to pay whatever Julian did with big scores.
Kolohe’s presser was meek. He had nothing to say, no fire to let
out, as Joe would put it. Even Strider was shocked at both the call
and Brother’s obsequiousness to it.
Semi two was Panda Mullet two. The rematch. By this stage I was
a full fledged Panda fan. The big fans and perfect flow were
undeniable. But it was meat and potatoes. Mikey had every
opportunity to bring the hi-fi noise and blow him off the
Racetrack. Again Wright caught few waves and laid anchor. Again,
chasing down a score he rode a wave on the buzzer for a high-drama
finish. This time I thought he had the score. Judges thought
otherwise. The momentum for a fairytale finish for the Panda was
undeniable.
Cardoso shed tears before the Final. And it looked like the
emotional weight of his story was finally starting to drag him
down. His first wave looked boggy. The tide came in. The surf
slowed down. He nailed two waves and the judges over-scored both of
them. Julian needed close to a ten with minutes remaining. He tore
into a wave with a little toy air on the end, a completely
conservative attempt at score manufacturing via “progression”.
Judges fell for it and awarded an eight.
The clock ticked down and nothing else came in. The Panda,
Brazilians at Uluwatu and everyone who understood the power of a
man “tryna feed and water my seed”, when “success is my only
motherfuckin option, failures not” celebrated wildly.
*Just missed out but encouraged to try out for 2024 Paris.
Uluwatu CT Men’s Final Results:
1 – Willian Cardoso (BRA) 15.57
2 – Julian Wilson (AUS) 14.43
Uluwatu CT Men’s Semifinal Results:
SF1: Julian Wilson (AUS) 15.83 def. Kolohe Andino (USA) 14.53
SF2: Willian Cardoso (BRA) 13.77 def. Mikey Wright (AUS) 13.16
Uluwatu CT Men’s Quarterfinal Results:
QF 1: Kolohe Andino (USA) 14.33 def. Conner Coffin (USA) 11.83
QF 2: Julian Wilson (AUS) 16.20 def. Jordy Smith (ZAF) 15.50
QF 3: Mikey Wright (AUS) 11.13 def. Gabriel Medina (BRA) 10.90
QF 4: Willian Cardoso (BRA) 14.24 def. Filipe Toledo (BRA)
11.67
Uluwatu CT Men’s Round 4 Results:
Heat 1: Kolohe Andino (USA) 9.34 def. Jordy Smith (ZAF) 9.10, Owen
Wright (AUS) 8.47
Heat 2: Julian Wilson (AUS) 14.13 def. Conner Coffin (USA) 13.04,
Michael Rodrigues (BRA) 11.50
Heat 3: Gabriel Medina (BRA) 17.07 def. Willian Cardoso (BRA)
14.66, Connor O’Leary (AUS) 14.63
Heat 4: Filipe Toledo (BRA) 10.50 def. Mikey Wright (AUS) 8.83,
Joan Duru (FRA) 7.44
Uluwatu CT Men’s Remaining Round 3 Results:
Heat 10: Filipe Toledo (BRA) 12.54 def. Yago Dora (BRA) 11.83
Heat 11: Joan Duru (FRA) 12.67 def. Joel Parkinson (AUS) 11.70
Heat 12: John John Florence (HAW) vs. Mikey Wright (AUS)* (Wright
progresses as Florence out injured)
Men’s Jeep Leaderboard (after Uluwatu CT)
1 – Julian Wilson (AUS) 27,215 pts
2 – Filipe Toledo (BRA) 25,900 pts
3 – Italo Ferreira (BRA) 24,995 pts
4 – Gabriel Medina (BRA) 20,990 pts
5 – Willian Cardoso (BRA) 19,740 pts
