"If this guy ain’t juiced they shouldn’t bother testing at all.”
Did you know that Kelly Slater is into the fight game?
Kelly enjoys the pleasure of the charge, the unconditional surrender to the uncontrollable, the overwhelming energy, the banquet of blood and so forth.
And did you know that, as in surf, Kelly spends many hours in contemplation and discussion on Instagram, discussing this incredible sport?
“Didn’t Cung Lee get caught because he looked suspect in a photo after a fight?” Slater wrote. “Costa makes Yoel’s physique look almost attainable. If this guy ain’t juiced they shouldn’t bother testing at all.”
Recently, on the UFC’s Instagram account, and in front of almost ten million followers, Kelly accused the Brazilian middleweight Paul Costa, whose body is so fabulous it sends shivers down my spine, of using anabolic steroids or similar to achieve his perfection.
“Didn’t Cung Le get caught because he looked suspect in a photo after a fight?” Slater wrote. “Costa makes Yoel’s physique look almost attainable. If this guy ain’t juiced they shouldn’t bother testing at all.”
According to USADA’s official website, Costa was tested 19 times since joining the UFC in the beginning of 2017, and never failed a test for illegal substances.
“Kelly Slater talked too much, said stupid things,” Costa told MMA Fighting. “He doesn’t understand how the anti-doping system works in the UFC, he doesn’t know how USADA works, doesn’t understand the USADA policy of testing any fighter at any moment anywhere in the world, blood and urine. We do random tests all the time, so if someone says a UFC fighter is fighting on the juice, to me that someone is completely ignorant about MMA, UFC, antidoping and USADA.”
“It does bother me because people talk without knowing,” Costa said. “They judge me because I have a good physique, an excellent condition, and think I got this by cheating instead of hard work, diet, effort and sacrifice. I keep working really hard, so it bothers me because they diminish my work and effort. But I know where my results come from, so my conscience is clear.”
I think Kelly’s IG attack is an example of beautiful heroism.
Don’t you?
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Go cry about your lame shit some where else and stop yelling you fool racist
C’est du n’importe quoi .
Is this true? Is it really his most gifted book? From memory it’s big on edging. I like edging.
Hope Kelly is clean. I was wrong about Armstrong
Doping will always be light years ahead of doping tests!
I absolutely love it when Slater gets put in his place on social media. Kelly we all know you don’t know shit about MMA so stick to the things you know – chia seeds, surfing, and homeopathy.
If the goat juiced, he would be winning comps again.
How many times has Slater been tested? Seriously! Those who live in greenhouses shouldn’t throw stones!
Sounds like a tale of enemas , chick spit and wakey wakey hands off snakey?
Say whaaat?
Thanks for the translation James.
Wots the problem? https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
I think the WSL should start drug testing
You mean, testing the people in the WSL organization itself?
Yup! I agree!
Start at the top, and work down.
… uh, sorry? Did you say someth.. uh huh, oh? But, Sophie, what do you mean “only the athletes?”
I don’t understand why you’d say that. I mean, shouldn’t everyone in the company be held to the same rules? … but all the high chiefs are as much ‘employees’ as the surfers, no?
Well why not? What have you got to hide? … I don’t know why you’re making that face. Please come back and talk! No no don’t call security, I’m merely asking a simple question! Sophie! Soph? Hey Sophie come back!
Was thinking the same thing when Bruce came out in andyAn movie saying he waked and baked…all top management in the industry is wake and bake…think the testing BS is nothing more than to keep this water talent in check. It’s a TEST… only that!..if you’re given the answers..you pass…rig it.. you fail. Fukken rigged
You’re stepping out of line there!
I see what you did there…
(taps nose wisely and winks)
Cocaine + surfing… + WSL
Chas will be rich!!!
they do….
Look at that fucken bicep on Costa. I’d like to see him paddle. That could be funny.
If I’ve learned anything as of late, it’s reading Kelly’s Instakilotongram posts with a critical eye, appreciating each word for its unneediing nature force and effect if standing alone or not, will land you at the doorstep of Kelly’s childhood dream of being Steve Martin.
For instance, “Didn’t” right out of the fucking gates. Kelly Didn’t go to Brazil last year, or the year before, or the year before that. Didn’t plan on going this year I reckon. One hell of a legit reason to rest his why’s for skipping Brazil. until at least 2021. In fact, this might be the shot herd* around the flat world. The WSL pulled the Margs event, gave crumbs off a fresh loaf to Hurley, and then there’s Facekook of the JBay. Wouldn’t be surprised if the Ranch was somehow worked into the back-up sites for the Oi Rio Pro.
*Ranch dressing that sentence
seen a few photos of Kelly looking pretty ripped over years
pot calling kettle black I think – arms don’t look too different no?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
He’s sustainable…
Is this the anti-metaphor for semen retention?
And I will counter by saying that if you think Kelly Slater, a man with a life spent striving for all kinds of achievement, a man who prides himself as being at the cutting edge (and who openly consumes all manner of hocus pocus new age placebo) has not engaged in illegal/unethical practices in an attempt to gain a performance edge, well, you’re not thinking logically. I’d even go so far as to say he’ll likely admit it when he retires. You know, when his shine has dulled and he needs a bit of the old limelight again.
Do you think Buckfast counts as a performance enhancer?
I do! You really are a man of the world, CB.
Thanks but nah, I’m relatively poorly travelled, much to my chagrin. Love your handle BTW.
FORTIFIED wine. It’s impenetrable to vikings.
My mind wanders back to Kelly’s mind-altering experiences on the psychedelic Ayahuasca…
“I got a miracle of information,” reported Kelly. “It opened up some sort of doorway in my future. It was otherworldly.”
In the realm of doping, any gain whether it be physical or mental. It’s still a gain, is it not?
https://beachgrit.com/2017/…
He gained enlightenment, the meaning of life is to probably be a cunt on insta. Remember when he was mysto and we gave a fuck what’s he said?
Someone recently said something to the effect that “Kelly is the Tom Cruise of surfing”. Just before Cruise started jumping up and down on couches and spewing publicly about how great Scientology is he fired his PR adviser! In other words before his career went to shit! The Kelly we are seeing now has jumped the couch, it’s time he deleted his Instagram account and hired a PR consultant, someone sensible like a Jerry Magurie type! Or join us mudslingers on Disqus!
Show me the money.
jump the couch or jump the shark?
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
It’s all getting a little confused with these celebrity types!
Can you find the Greg Brady wipeout from” the Brady Bunch goes to Hawaii “and suffer the curse of the TIKI ?
I remember that one!
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Fantastic , possibly the inspiration for Baywatch ? Thanks Ck T .
You’re not going to watch the new mission impossible?
Of course, I haven’t seen Tom Cruise in a scene where he runs for over a year, and that cheesy grin!
Haha, running is Tom’s “blue steel.”
I watched Mission Impossible 2 , just to see my ex girlfriend’s cousin Thandi Newton who starred in the film.
Thandi Newton . . . what a name.
no
This is a good point! I’d read an article about “surfers who are cool because they don’t say shit.” In the skate world we have Heath Kirchart as the prime example.
LOL!
I firmly believe most, if not ALL, professional athlete’s dope…
Too much money/fame as reward for the top 0.25%!
Too short a peak career timeframe!
Too much pressure to perform!
And failure for many, is something not worth contemplating…
However, the percentage would be negligible to nada (obviously Neco Padaratz was the exception) within the microcosm that is Pro surfing – specifically the WSL.
I can say from experience that it’s very common in the NCAA. Get your science right and you can cycle off to piss clean during the season and other peak testing times during the off-season.
If that’s my experience in college, then the pros are on a whole ‘nother level.
Yep. Exactly right.
All of this seems to bring up the question again, what’s to stop someone from taking a amphetamine pill right before a final heat for enhanced performance and faster paddling skills. Has anyone addressed this issue yet.
The WSL randomly piss tests right after heats.
‘Randomly’ is the key word.
BEACH GRIT EXCLUSIVE: READ HERE about John John getting abused by old man drug tester – #TOURNOTES
Link to WSL Video in the BG Story (see 1:10 minute mark)
https://beachgrit.com/2017/…
I think IF (still a big if for me) he’s dabbled in this realm of PED’s at all it would have been a Testosterone Replacement Therapy program with a doctor who he’s close with that can legally administer, monitor and manage those T levels over a long period of time. Blood doping a la Lance? Don’t think surfing really calls for that. Traditional steroids? Probably wouldn’t help either, too much muscle. But a well designed and administered program to keep his hormones at an optimal level of someone in their 20’s? All done in a safe, controlled and, most importantly, legal manner? Hell i’d do it if i had the cash and was going on some sort of extended surf trip where the waves would be firing for an extended amount of time (which is basically his life).
While we’re on the topic of steroids… Icarus on Netflix is AMAZING.
all these Pro Surfers are already in pretty good shape, they don’t need any hormone therapy, all they need is a little amphetamine pill to speed up there reflexes before a couple of heats to win a contest.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Kelly really is the Trump of sports.
Exactly! Slater said, “if this guy ain’t juiced they shouldn’t bother testing at all”…It’s a double negative!
He didn’t mean doping, he meant using a juicer!
OJ simpson was a big juicer
Will Kelly release a book in a few years “I didn’t juice, but if I did, this is how I would have done it “?
would trust Kelly on this one.. takes a juicer to recognize a juicer…
..trust me i am a doctor..
For a man who’s slayed life so hard, why does K11 care?
i guess he does care kelly is getting old and he cant take the fact that the spotlight its not turned into him its getting harder and harder for the judges the cheat like they did so many times throughout all these years 11 x world champ in a subjective sport totally manipulated dont get me wrong he is a great athlete but he is not a good person he has millions of followers how in this workd can you say something like that about a clean fighter ufc gas the most rigorous dope testing in the world nick diaz got banned for smoking pot i wonder what is going to be of these sorry individual 15 20 years from now he will probally go crazy.
My punctuation based drug test has determined you’re riddled with speed
I started tripping, just trying to read that.
Such deep-seated aversion to periods reminds me of somebody.
FOLLOW MY GUIDANCE AND YOU WILL LIVE FOR EVER, LITTLE WEAK PERSON
Sometimes Laird jokes miss their mark.
My apologies.
Died Pretty wrote a song about it. To protect him they changed the chorus to Landsakes, but if you substitute the chosen one’s name in you’ll get the gist.
In a doubly unrelated aside, the singer once tried to crack on to me. To put it in perspective, the guitarist in the band is 6’5″ tall and I have him covered.
Tweakers Paradise, that’s all it was.
COTW.. c’mon BG make it a thing.
If I don’t look directly at your paragraph, I can get the main point of what you are trying to say. But actually reading the words opens the door to madness, which is what Kelly did on his Ayahuasca trip and now look what happened….Chaos. Pandemonium. Purps.
… but aint they (the UFC) all on the juice?