Listen: Gerry Lopez says SUPS suck! Ryan Callinan says Medina has the heart of a “smooth-nippled lion!”

Up the Swellians etc!

Have you fallen under the spell of the podcast Ain’t that Swell yet? God knows how many years it’s been going now, six, seven, eight?

Like all things, it’s evolved from a modest back and forth between the writers Jed ‘Smivvy’ Smith and Adam ‘Vaughan’ Blakey to something so deeply Australian, so idiosyncratic and sure of its way, there isn’t a podcast on earth like it.

Rogan looks like fake Disney dollars next to Ain’t that Swell.

This episode, which was released two days ago, is a new high point. It is four hours long but you’ll keep listening until your bladder stabs into you.

It is world title themed and features interviews with Mick Fanning, Joel Parkinson, Gerry Lopez, Tom Carroll and Ryan Callinan who “talks about the paddle battle with Medina and calls out Aussies for getting dark on Medina afterwards,” says Vaughan.

Late last night, I recorded a short interview with Vaughan, he in a hacienda that looks like a sinner’s palace in Crescent Head, your writer, in the dirty city.

I am excited even though my thing has long been cured of its ability to have erections.

BeachGrit: God I love this so much it hurts. I feel jealousy, joy etc.
VD: Same! All love should hurt. Otherwise it’s lukewarm likey at best.

Gabby shouldn’t be torn down by misguided nationalistic nonsense for having the heart of a roaring smooth-nippled lion. R-Cal goes right into the whole Subertubos paddle battle which is great to hear with a bit of retrospect, especially cause he loved it until he got to shore and saw that everyone was blowing up.

Talk to me about the Ryan-on-Medina interview. 
It’s a snippet from one of the best interviews I’ve heard in a long time (Smivvy did it) but the crux of our cut is that Gabby shouldn’t be torn down by misguided nationalistic nonsense for having the heart of a roaring smooth-nippled lion. R-Cal goes right into the whole Subertubos paddle battle which is great to hear with a bit of retrospect, especially cause he loved it until he got to shore and saw that everyone was blowing up. I guess the thing is that it’s not wrong to let your passion go mad in the heat of the moment, hate as much as you like between hooters, but let it go after that. Joel and Mick have similar sentiments in the same episode, but probably the best observation of Gabby comes from Ronnie who reminds us how much a world title race without a true villain sucks. Gabby is happy to be that guy, and one day I reckon we’ll all end up loving him for it.

Gerry Lopez goes ice cold on SUPS and says that catching waves might be a bit of fun and all, but padding around on your belly on a surfboard is truly the best thing ever. He also says Arnold Schwarzeneggar can’t build model planes because his fingers are too big.

I ain’t eaten the whole four hours yet. What’s the highlight?Ah, the lament of the modern human is always a lack of time. Let’s cook flesh while the irons are fresh from fire! But talking to Parko a few hours after he won Haleiwa, Bainy and Tom Carroll jiving on how scary Pipeline is, and Gerry Lopez going ice cold on SUPS and saying that catching waves might be a bit of fun and all, but padding around on your belly on a surfboard is truly the best thing ever. He also says Arnold Schwarzeneggar can’t build model planes because his fingers are too big. Man, there are so many gems.

Four hours long! How?
Man, we just love the woozle so much and a world title climax at Pipe is the best because there’s just so much to talk about. And when you have Mick, Joel, TC, Gerry and Bainy on hand you let it roll because every one of those guys have won and lost out there and they all have insane shit to say about it. And most importantly, they’re psyched as fuck surf fans who are stoked out of their minds on the whole show. It’s wild how frothy and into it they are. We could have gone for 24 hours.

Do Mick and Joel phone in?
Ronnie and I interviewed Mick in the White House on the Goldy. If you listen close enough you can hear his dog panting into the mic most of the convo. Parko buzzed in from Hawaii after visiting the Moniz house to celebrate Seth’s qualification. He was with Occy, Dog Marsh and Louie. It was like dialling back in time. Biggest buzz.

Tell me how everyone’s character has evolved in the show, yours, Jed’s, Danny Johnson, Pauly-B etc.
Mate, the only thing that’s really changed is that once upon a time we were talking to 2,000 people an episode and now we’re talking to 20,000. And it’s the sickest thing because we’re just fucking around but maybe that’s how people want to consume surf shit when they’re not in the water themselves? All I know is every single person who listens to our podcast loves surfing as much as we do and judging from the questions they send in they know their shit and love taking the piss as well. Actually, I probably scream and swear way way more than I used to. I might have to tone that down a bit. And Pauly works way harder on all our songs and sound effects than he used to too. Smivvy’s exactly the same; wild fighter for the underdog and a total surf mad lunatic. It’s all just stupid fun.

Is the Swellian Army now…a force?
Oath! Swellians are fucking the gnarliest legends ever. Nobody has a better handle on how fun surfing is. UTFS for life!