Current world number 1 gets PHYSICAL!
In what is now a 40-year-old tradition, the normally bucolic North Shore of Oahu has come to life in recent weeks, teeming with professional surfers both competing, practicing and tasting sweet Hawaiian justice. Titans of surf industry sit on shaded verandas and do key bumps of mid-grade cocaine while the sun sets (buy here!). Young boys, shipped over by hopeful parents, get whipped in dungeons then screamed at in overcrowded lineups. Sluts roam the bushes looking for prey.
It is an earthly paradise and everyone one is there. Everyone save current world number 1 Gabriel Medina for he is back home in Brazil GETTING RIPPED.
And have you seen Rocky IV? It is the best of the classic series by far where we are introduced to the Russian Captain Ivan Drago (played by the Swede Dolph Lundgren). He was a machine, an absolute machine and put the Philadelphian Rocky Balboa to merciless shame. Smashed him to a bloody pulp. It was so brutal that I had to turn the film off in the 14th round and I believe Drago’s success can be attributed to his training. Let’s watch him in action.
Now let us examine some side by side images of Ivan Drago and Gabriel Medina who is doing much the same thing in his home country.
Julian? Are you watching?
Gabby may need a history lesson from Willsy and Mick Campbell about staying home training hard and going to Hawaii late…
Was thinking more of Olivia Newton-John , Let’s get Physical , Post Grease still wearing spandex but this time pink during the Xanadu / Aerobics Era ?
Good on you L G R for going hard big man style at Pipe ! There is a big chance that Gabriel , who is a genius in the tube , is not actually training for Pipe but getting cut so he can rip off his yellow jersey and show the world ( Ronaldo style ) his cut bod and increase his instagram following ,and drop more coins in his piggy bank, if or when he wins his second world title in December .
Looks like super short shorts are making a comeback!
better start working on those leg muscles, gabby.
Love your work
Very fair on all the white trash, yellow peril, bongo drummers, and camel jockeys
Thanks hombre.
The vocal minority love the sight of their own text.
And their mastabatory musings.
Come on Bex, the shit slinging is tiresome to read… you got banned from STAB right?
Hell no.
I’m a choir boy compared to that lot.
I do go there specifically to troll Big Dog and his mates.
Have you just changed your Disqus handle?
No
And I’m not private
I’ve never been on social media until I joined diqus 3 months ago.
Cause I always thought it was just for chicks or the lgbtqabxxx community.
I started surfing on a col Smith single fin, then a twinny, then Nev thrusters. I surfed my cunt out and now have chronic skin cancer and can only surf at very sharky times
I’ve lived and worked in China, Brasil, the UK and the phillipines and am very tolerant of weirdos and fascists even left wing tryhards.
I speak 3 languages but am still a dumb cunt.
My kids are mixed race and no one gives them any shit cause they’d fuck that cunt up.
Good on you Bex.
Well, he and the Brazzos cop a lotta shit and there’s fuck all of em on here to fling it back.
Sometimes the know it all illuminati on here does my head in.
Bex god damn you if I could put emojis on here I’d do the little kissy face queer thing.
Don’t ever change!
Dude Bex you literally said the same thing like 3 comments below this. A little self-awareness goes a long way.
I’m pulling for Medina too but your little fan boy schtick is tired.
I’ve got my period
Fuck!!
Yeah, i feel you bro… Medina is something out of nightmare, out of a bad manichean movie, right? But, don’t wake up in the middle of the night all scare… Enjoy the show, get inspired and go surf! Or go fuck yourself… whatever you like the most.
Drago lost. Didn’t he?
Maybe I remember the wrong movie.
Rocky IV – the best Rocky by far – and by extension better than Raging Bull, in other words possibly the greatest movie of all time!
actually the reboot “Creed” is pretty damn good. 2nd of that series is about to drop, too.
I assume you are taking the piss Jimmy ? Rocky, the original , was truly a great film ,and possibly the only American Film of that period where the hero won all the battles but lost the fight ( shades of Italo this year ) . Major Box office success , feted by the critics and won the Academy Award for best picture in 1976 . Personally feel the wheels fell off the cart ,one by one ,with each sequel to the original .
I’m always taking the piss! But there was something so 1980s – America is great that seems so bombastic and innocent about Rocky IV – almost like Springsteen’s Born in the USA – if you didn’t listen to the lyrics…
Did anyone really expect him to turn up at Pipe looking like the Great Shawn Briley ?
No but would that not be the story of the decade?
Huge !
Ah Shawn. What a character.
I’ve heard he’s mellowed to become quite a self-aware cat.
great family
I would truly love to
meet him one day.
Ahhh… Briley…. now those were the days when you could really really love these guys…
Gabs rips but in seriousness it is his stance and particularly his jawline – in every photo/pose/interview the slight upward inclination of the head gives him the appearance of an arrogant cunt!!!
Gonna try it more myself.
He either needs to embrace the hate even more ( we need the anti hero) or go to the June Daly Watkins school of deportment to carry books on his head to lower said head and we would all love him!
Like he needs your advice or love..
Arrogant paleface deportment weirdo.!!
Ok biggum chief me arrogant paleface you big chief
Moderator!!
I think he could rock a bow tie with aplomb. Mind you, he’d look good in anything, unlike our pasty lumps eh?
Mate am turning myself into a machine currently so we will see – that’s the no job thing!!
I humbly apologise,
before you wallop me.
Duck and weave ? Or run like Hell ?
North Shore “Ego Capital” of the world… second to Washington DC.
Yeah but on North Shore they walk the walk,In DC they just talk the talk
So the North Shore is awash in petty vices and distractions, but laugh at Gabe because he went home to recharge and train? Got it.
Who’s laughing?
Theres all that freaky Hawaiian stuff in Brasil too. Times 10
Gabs you’re a fucking machine!!
I hope you smash those white cunts!!
Medina looks quite white to me. But then again I’m not a racist like you.
That’s quite an accusation.
I feel I’m very fair with all gods children.
Mr pointy fingers.
It’s Medina
Not Macdina.
Fucking Stephen hawking over here.
MacDina is his Irish cousin.
Possibly a MacDiva or is that more apt for Neymar ( both f*n geniuses in their respective fields ) ?
Yeah but the waves? Not sayin’ Brazil ain’t got waves but North Shore Winter it is not.
jules is out riding his bike.
Indeed Julian has been spotted training in his newy-ly adopted hometown: running the Stockton sand dunes, chasing down V8 Supercars on his deadly BMX and bare knuckle boxing in the Great Northern Hotel’s new Viper Pit. Jules been ready #carnjoycey
I’m fond of Julian Wilson. He seems like a lovely chap with pleasing talents. But I’m afraid he is also a choker, of the highest order.
Gabriel, on the other hand, is a stone cold cobra.
No contest.
Chopes 2017. Snapper/Kirra 2018.
Mackin Chopes 2014
Twenty years old
No fucking contest
well put
Think you cunts are misunderstanding me.
Nothing against Medina. We all know what he is.
But Jules ain’t no choker of the highest order.
Those 2 wins were fuckn gritty.
Just saying to Chazz – who’s prolly covered himself with an outside bet and is trying to throw everybody off. Hahaha Chazz, busted!
Anyways, this title is Medina’s to lose. What you all gonna say if he fucks up ?
Lotta pressure on him. No wonder he’s not in Hawaii, that tells a tale, right there.
Not that I give a fuck anyway. They’re all sponno wanker cunts in my book.
Care to list his chokes and capitulations? I can’t be arsed, but it would be a far more illustrious list. Plus, I was on the beach in Portugal when Jules pipped Medina in the final. I was also behind the event scaffolding a few mins later where Gabby was bawling his eyes out and refusing to go on stage to collect his 2nd prize.
Believe me, he wants to fucking hulk smash Julian Wilson.
Was it “the last of the V-8 Interceptors”?
no better preparation for a world title showdown at Pipe than cafe hopping in the greater Merewether area.
Trying not to get run over by ditsy, oblivious Merewether mothers in their huge SUVs is an adrenaline-laden bike ride indeed. That and the constant state of alert to avoid door-ings leaves me a daily commuting wreck at the end of the day.
RIDE HARD . Worked for Strider and his Elf muse in Lord of the Rings ?
Worked a treat for Campbell and Wills🙄
Bridgette Nielsen. She launched many a 1980s young boy’s fantasies, and sticky residues of those fantasies.
Especially after post breast enlargement surgery !