Is professional surfing the new hottest ticket in town?
I’m back from the Land of Civilization, blurry-eye’d and in a general state of long haul confusion. It feels good to be home but oh how I missed my Middle East, my Egypt. It’s strange watching the globe shift beneath our feet. I studied in Egypt two-ish decades ago and then the entire country was geared toward the American empire. You couldn’t walk down the street without a street hustling Egyptian offering you the world, telling you that he named his son George Bush.
Now there are no Americans and few Europeans. The country points towards the gulf and aims to satisfy Khaleeji appetites instead. I was like a ghost which was enjoyable but also sad. My cab driver, who took me to the airport on the way out, was also sad. He begged for Americans and Australians to return. “We’re safe now…” he said. “…please tell your friends and family to come back. I used to take people to the pyramids everyday. Now I never. All the Kuwaitis want is prostitutes and alcohol.”
If you’ve got the itch you really should visit. The pyramids are fabulous this time of year.
Well, time moves on, anyhow, sometimes things becoming better, sometimes things become worse, sometimes an ex-employee of the Oprah Winfrey Network becomes the World Surf League’s President of Content, Media and WSL Studios-elect and next thing you know Julia Roberts is talking about it on television.
It’s true!
The very famous actress went onto the Busy Philipps talk show just a few days ago in order to discuss many things including ageism and gender inequality. Shall we read?
Speaking about ageism in the movie industry, Julia said: “I think that’s made-up bulls**t that at a certain age, the bell is going to ring and you are done, go on back home. It’s silly and I don’t think anybody buys into that. I don’t think I am special. I’ve always been fortunate that I have always found the work I am looking for. I mean, 30 years is a long time and I am grateful and satisfied.”
And Julia also has strong feelings about the gender pay gap, and says that although the problem still exists, it is getting better “every day”.
She said: “It’s an ongoing thing that we wish was more in the rear view. But every day … today I know the World Surfing League announced that they will have equal pay for their female surfers and male surfers. And Manchester United has a female team that started this year. I think there are places where people are really making those efforts in the right direction. So if it’s a little bit of time, then we have to take it and be happy for it.”
And boom. World Surf League front and center in Julia Robert’s heart and mind all thanks to Erik Logan via Oprah Winfrey, I’d imagine. Do you think this is the beginning of something big? Will World Surf League events begin to resemble Los Angeles Lakers games packed to the gills with celebrities and pseudo-celebrities?
Will the VIP section at the almost here Pipeline in honor of Andy Irons be stacked with actual very important people instead of Gabriel Medina’s aunt?
Like John Mayer and Leonardo Di Caprio and Jamie Foxx and Jamie Foxx’s on again off again girlfriend Katie Holmes?
A very brave new possible horizon.
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Oprah Shakas!
This is perfect.
I don´t know, but I´m sure the cocaine quality will be much better!
Has Chaka Khan ever thrown a Shaka?
Should she allowed to? Should she be forced to do nothing else?
These are questions which have haunted me.
“I FEEL FOR YOU” CB
Just wondering if she is a great all rounder like Imran Khan who has bowled maidens over like Shaka since Packer was a boy ?
We’re all so fucking obsessed with how surfing is perceived in the mainstream, we’re now seeing things that just aren’t there.
No shakas were attempted. Oprah and ELo were actually doing the ‘call me’ thing with their hands when a papparazi asked for a quick shot.
Just last night I was watching a documentary about how the pyramids were actually giant electricity conductors that could provide wireless power to the entire world.
Look in that photo how Oprah’s shaka is contorted into an almost Egyptian hieroglyphics-esque form.
Is it possible the Oprah/Loges/Goldschmidt Troika are the harbingers of a new dawn of global enlightenment where equal pay and free energy will become social norms, and acolytes like Julia Roberts and Neymar Jr will become high priests and priestesses of a WSL/ancient Egyptian surf religion fusion as interpreted through the Rosetta Stone and WSL Instagram?
Not that I want to read too much into it,
The shadow casted by her shaka looks like a man sitting on the toilet.
Do you think she flashes that shaka to anyone and everyone when she in Maui?
The answer to every single question is ‘No’, even with Oprah guy and his suit of armor.
Although I do wonder, is there some sort of presentation/camera innovation that could make pro surfing a better TV sport, like how the hole card camera turned poker into a popular TV sport? The current wave pools aren’t enough, although if they could dial up overhead waves then that could be a game-changer.
Who’s that on the right? Looks like an aging Richie Lovett.
from the Shaka she is throwing, with out the caption describing who she was, I would have mistaken her as someone likely to get water person of the year 2018 and just assumed Oprah was one of the two non shakaerers. sorry Ritchie.
You devil
Oprah’s attempted Shaka looks like she is caught between deciding the fate of a roman gladiator or having tea with syphilis ridden French aristocracy. or she is having a sly dig at the size Elo’s junk.
Once again proven never shaka for photo….kooks
“Will the VIP section at the almost here Pipeline in honor of Andy Irons be stacked with actual very important people instead of Gabriel Medina’s aunt?”
Wait, you mean Simon Rex doesn’t count?! Fuck me…
I am excited for the start of the E-Lo Era. I hear from very connected sources that an ADS movie, starring Andy Serkis, Motion Capture King-Regent, is currently in the works. The movie is reportedly set to capture his struggle to overcome poverty to become Brazil’s first World Champion surfer (nevermind Gabe). The movie also deals with his journey to navigate major family conflict to emerge from the shadows cast by his more famous family members, uncles Mario and Luigi, who left the family behind when they made it big and later became naturalized Italian citizens, to make a name for himself and enhance the legacy of the royal plumbing family.
Negs is set to make an appearance in the film, as the leader of the famous Plumbersurfmeister Gang, a powerful rough and tumble Grumpy Local™ union affiliate (the most powerful, in fact), who grants his approval of ADS near the end of the film, with “You have performed the greatest service. No longer shall we be ridiculed for being lazy and told we’re wasting time on comment boards. You are a beacon of light, or at least the person we can point to say ‘Seeeee?!’ You have done our profession and, more importantly, you have made your family proud, ya scallywag cuntard.”
The cinematic potential of a “Pretty Woman” remake with Julia as an Egyptian prostitute and Dick Gere playing the Kuwaiti playboy is over the top tantalizing.
Egypt is truly an amazing place. When riding in a cab in Cairo, I had to finally ask about the honking. “Sir, if I didn’t know any better, I’d swear the drivers here are saying stuff with their honking. Are you?” Cab driver: “Oh yes sir. Some honks mean move. Some mean fuck you! Like this, one long honk, followed by two short! Ahhhh fuck you! Hahaha.” Me: “Any family insult honks?” Cab driver: “Ha. Yes sir. Mostly bearded mother insults. Haha.”
O2 the problem with the country having strayed from Gamal Abdel Nasser’s dream is that we might not see Julia’s face hidden behind the Islamic curtains ?
Seems like you found the Rosetta Stone disguised as a cab driver to unlock the modern day mystery on the Nile and learnt the unwritten language of Honking in El Kahira .The fun I had trying to get on and off buses that slow down ( but do not stop ) to help passengers and crossing an 8 lane freeway with no lights , crossing , or police but plenty of honking with the help of local families who grabbed you like kids and pulled me in the right direction . The total bombardment of all senses 24/7 was life changing and was so bored on returning to a pedestrian paced Sydney that I got up and left .
Did you end up in a “developing” nation? (I guess we could just say non-western nation)
A small coastal town in South West France . A place where everything is upside down and back the front , and recently Germany continuing the journey on my way back to home .
The place really makes you feel alive. Crossing streets, especially near roundabouts was surreal for sure. My business partner and I were nearly killed in a terrorist attack at the old bazaar when some fuckwit decided to strap some grenades underneath a bus bench. Killed 13-14 locals and a couple tourists. Should have killed us too!
When at the pyramids, before getting to go inside Khufu’s burial chamber, we heard a funny tidbit of info from the architect we were with. He was working on restoring the Giza plateau. While lazer surveying he found that the eyes of Colonel Sanders (KFC) situated 600 yards in front of the Sphinx met the eyes of the Sphinx with zero change in elevation. He was there to rip down that KFC and other mud brick market buildings. We found zero coincidence in that fact but saw lots of blasphemy with it.
when staring down the Sphinx, your only future is failure.
I was there in 91 and felt very safe in Egypt traveling with 2 girls and pissed myself laughing for a month and found those I met to be generous and happy .Israel was much scarier at the time and we got stuck trying to return by air to Cairo in Tel Aviv . After 3 hours of questioning they asked what we did for a job and my sister told them she was a doctor and they then asked if she had proof . Silly bugger hesitated and finally pulls out her wallet with the American Express Gold Card with Dr in front of her name and the young Israeli official almost bowed and sent us on our way .
Yes! I wrote a whole essay on the linguistics of Egyptian honks!
I feel like every time Erik Logan throws a shaka the ghost of a Hawaiian Ikaika Warrior loses his helmet.
Something wrong with his pinky, even Oprah’s shaka looks better, but, she’s black, so, they’re inherently smooth (I can say this bc I’m 11% African).
Oprah has clearly read “Welcome to paradise, now go to hell!” (Buy here!)… Loose shakas are key.
upvote for the buy here, natch
Wasn’t Neymar at the last event watching Medina? He’s one of the biggest stars on the planet maybe even more well known than his aunt. Maybe it’s already happening? Maybe Neymar is his aunt? Anything is possible(Kevin Garnett voice) in the oprah surf league!
And Lindsay Lohan was at Pipe a few years back. Star power.
I think she schtupped the Volcom house.
You have seen the future !
I’m stunned – but you’re right. It’s all trending to exactly that.
Euro fashion houses, Hollywood and the networks.
Boom ! Cannes goes to the beach.
I like the idea of taking cans to the beach as long as they serve it in a chilled crystal glass etched with a Palme d’Or .
You’re in that space already, Bicko !
Not sure that Ill ever get there but I just can’t wait to pay a bazillion for my tiger Gucci wettie.
Mate I am still poor as a church mouse . Seriously just happy that I won’t end up homeless and still capable of shot gunning a few tinnies at the beach .
Ya know what they say – you can take the boy out of Cronulla but you can’t take the Cronulla out of the boy ….
Will Manchester United start paying their women the same as the men? Did the taxi driver mention Australians? So many questions….