Shocking new alleged developments!
It sure has felt like Mother Nature is on the ropes lately, no? Oh I’m not talking climate change, plastics, fires, floods, droughts, famine etc. I’m talking wave pools. Wave pools allegedly being built in every single town from Lemoore right on down to River City and threatening each and every time to upend the ocean’s place atop the pole. Wave pools churning out perfect little barrels on demand so mom and pop and li’l sis can get their fill without waiting for stupid storms somewhere out at sea.
Take the Olympics, for example. Surfing has finally been accepted amongst its sporting brethren and will be featured for the first time ever at the Tokyo Games in 2020.
Detractors pounced. “But what if there’s no waves?” “But what if there are no stupid storms somewhere out at sea?”
Organizers promised there would be no issues, that the coastal town of Tsurigasaki Beach in the Chiba prefecture produces magnificent surf, but quietly behind the scenes the Kelly Slater Wave Company was given a green light to build a pool in Tokyo. Construction was set to begin in September but… hold the backhoe! A sizzling new rumor suggests that the plug is being pulled because of promises made by the central government to the local Chiba authorities.
This, if true, effectively kills surfing’s grand Olympic debut showcasing Kelly’s marvelous plow. But does it automatically negate any wave pool ahead of the Games? Surf Lakes, as you learned last night, is on a heater and what if Barton and Occy made nice with the local Chiba authorities to bring in the plunger?
What if BSR Cable Park has promised through-the-roof ratings with its patented brain-eating amoeba shuffle?
Oh this tangled web is just starting to get interesting but, for the time being, Mother Nature is the victor. Unless there are no stupid storms somewhere out at sea and Kanoa Igarashi is wreathed with Olympic gold after skimboarding an 8.7.
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I’m a shit cunt mate.
Na I definitely would mate
No problem
I’d love to hear more about that trip!
hotel and golf course still powering on too. i got a 5 under there. i went inside the abandoned dome. pretty creepy. imagine how creepy some of the new wave tubs will be when they go broke. small leftover pools of slime all that be left after the wave tub apocalypse!
did any pro surfers from the Occy/ barton era have a “nice” relationship with the local Chiba authorities?
Chad — I believe there’s more to this story and I think Cocaine is involved and that you should dig deeper because Cocaine….well, you know what I mean….also, did you ever backward your fins to see if it maybe sped up your own initial bottom turn? Can you do it in wave pool with fins backwards next time? Please???/
I think there is actually an international rhino horn-smuggling syndicate at the center of all of this.
A friend who has worked at numerous Olympics on the production side was clear back when this was announced: the prime motivation for Tokyo to include surfing was so they could showcase to the world they have beaches, not just vast swaths of pulsating neon and schoolgirl ho’s in uniform for the salaryman. If you show it, tourists will come. Contracts have long been signed and locked in – the pool, for better or worse, was never really an option.
Well yes but you didn’t need a secret friend to know this. You just needed to pay attention to every single statement Fernando Aguerre has ever made on the subject. Fernando has been perfectly clear on it for years, and the surfing Olympics is HIS deal, nobody else’s. He had a $600,000 investment in Kelly’s pool going back a number of years and cashed it in when the IOC gave him the nod, just to avoid a conflict of interest. The WSL/KSWC have been indulging themselves in a hope that they could get the Olympics in the pool and thus swiftly leverage their investment, but neither Fernando nor the IOC nor indeed the JOC organising committee had any dog in that fight. So yeah, F 1 pool 0.
Bloody Hell . Honest Businessman involved in Surfing ? Is this a first ( chuckling ) ?
Fernando 1, pool 0
Didn’t ABBA have a song about him?
They did !
Argentina’s Fernando Aguirre’s ride from ding fixer to Reef’s gstring and thong Mogul and now President of the ISA.
So can ABBA now do an Elton John and say NOW Fernando “ you can tell everybody this is your song “ as he did for Lady Di robbing future generations of trying to work out who the hell was Norma Jean ?
A few lines with possible relevance to the current geo political situation in the wide world of surfing :
a)Can you here the drums Fernando ( WSL v ISA )
b) How proud you were to fight for freedom ( of ocean waves ) in this land .
c)There was something in the air that night
The stars so bright Fernando . ( not to sure about the night surfing,but it seems the stars will be encouraged to go to the air or be left scratching their collective Olympic Rings ? )
d) Now we’re old and grey Fernando (and Kelly)
e) And since many years I haven’t seen a rifle (trophy) in your (Kelly’s) hand
Maybe this is why they are trying to stop other South American’s , with tear gas at the border , coming to the States as they are afraid they will all end up owning homes in La Jolla with football field size garden’s overlooking the waves and push the local population to East LA ?
I have to admit that I don’t understand the evolution of this sub-thread. But surely you understand that Donny’s anti-immigration stance has a legitimate public safety rationale: the water usage for those gardens is absolutely criminal!
Sorry JP . Will try to untangle the thread . Saw Fernando being interviewed , possibly in French,at his palatial home in La Jolla and the kids had a half sized football field with goals in front of the house overlooking the Pacific .
Aha!!
Kelly Slater – GOATzilla
https://youtu.be/U9Kqkw94WI4
whoa , lets add to the rumors…….
All the surfing people in Japan want the Olympics at Chiba….not the pool. Arrangements have been made that in the case of no sand , that sand will be shipped in by boats to create banks. There is always some kind of wave there it’s just if there is sand.
The ex Deputy PM has been a middleman in securing a young billionaires $ ‘s to build the K-tub , on the condition that the Olympics are held in the new Tokyo-Tub……as that is very unlikely now , how does your new investor feel??
I drove by the site a couple of Mths ago and had a good look, what an incredibly expensive piece of land , let alone the building costs…..to be cont’d…
hahaha always some kind of wave at Chiba hahahahahahahahahahahahah yeah, right. hahahahahahaha you are a funny man hahahahahahhahahahahhaah
Well… they might not be rideable for the average human, but perhaps troops of trained insects could be inducted as honorary Olympians and ride the massive overhead walls to glory and gold-medal victory!!!
That little grasshopper from Kung Fu could walk on rice paper without making a sound . This is the type of insect we need ?
now, I would watch that!!
The Pipe Masters will be held in Massive LEFTS and not 2ft backdoor rights as per usual for the last few years ( Chuckles ) ? Even the World’s best breaks don’t always turn on in season ?
fuck RU pissed again ,still , been to quite few comps there , it’s OK surf ,like for the QS!
always haha
Lemoore 2024
Got told by a national coach in July that’s it’s 100% in dribbles at the beach. And yeh check Wiggollys Paddling style…….
Kelly and his shit pool just need to fuck off already.
He’s starting to get a bit Laird-like ay. Next he’s going to get his little misso, Kalani on the roids and shave her head in honour of himself. Pretty similar to how Laird forced that poor bloke Gabriel to take a half dose of female transformation hormones before they got hitched. Not very convincing.
This is the gold standard of internet surf commentary.
In lairds dreams
And maybe yours
Bring back Ōshan Dōmu!
Fucken A! Actually still holds up against the competition https://m.youtube.com/watch…
The sacred waters of Sensei Matt Pitts ? Surely the World Expert ( a former Oz pro Surfer and talented Japanese linguist ) on Japanese Wave Pools seeing as he put on a show there every night for 5 years ?
aaannnnnnnnnnnd it went broke. investors take note.
More details please! A perfect armchair “i told you so” opportunity in waiting for us schadenfreudists
yeah , but it was more about the size of the Japanese market , soon as the WCT stopped going , surfing became an old mans sport , 90%+ drop in the market is what killed the pool….but you already know that there are not enough good surfers to surf the K-Tub….guaranteed failure!
Occy’s plunger is so shit mate. Get real wouldya cunt.
Just the tip…. and still broke his shaft.
Your the cunt
What’s that cunt? I’m not a cunt. I’ll fucken smash ya. Where you live cunt? Dumb dog.
“You’re”
First time I’ve ever upvoted a grammar call out.
Easy tiger.
Ok turbo
Gotta love that guy’s name: ‘Michael Scurr’.
Scuuuuurrrrrrrr…..
I’ll bet you a nickel that he’s a PIRATE.
He be all: ” Aaaarrrr, me farties.” an shit all the time, numsayin’?
Pokin’ his cutlass intae his shipmates and stuff huh?
X MARKS THE SPOT!!!
AAAAAAAAArrrrrrrr.