Shhhhhhhhh!
Kelly Slater, greatest surfer of all, greatest surfer on earth took to Instagram today in order to tell his 2.4 million followers a secret.
“Don’t tell anyone how good the left is at V-Land. Sneaky ones on a @slaterdesigns 5’9 rounded pin #FRK by @dan_mann.”
And I will tell you what, it is this sort of hot action that makes Kelly Slater the greatest surfer of all, the greatest surfer on earth. To me and to you that is an ugly, aberrant closeout that could only lead to many stitches but to Kelly it is a canvas. The lefts at V-Land will never be seen the same but have you surfed V-Land before?
Matt Warshaw the greatest surf historian of all, even though Pulitzer Prize winning author William Finnegan calls him ‘self-proclaimed’ writes:
Feisty high-performance wave located at the far east end of the North Shore of Oahu in Hawaii; a two-way break, but generally known as a right. Velzyland needs a medium-small west swell, and breaks best from three to five foot. Bigger waves fold over on an outer reef, roll shoreward, and sometimes reform just prior to hitting the Velzyland proper. The rights wedge up into perfectly formed tubes, and often throw out two or three times on the same wave; the lefts are longer but softer.
Velzyland’s jagged reef is the sharpest of any break on the North Shore, and riders who blow a tube section often surface with long red scratches and welts across their backs, shoulders, knees, elbows, hands, and feet. “For a hotdog spot,” as longboard ace Herbie Fletcher noted in 1974, “it’s a wave with a lot of consequence.” Velzyland has also been regarded since the late ’60s as a hardcore locals break, and unwelcoming to visitors.
(you subscribe to the Encyclopedia of Surfing I absolutely insist here and now.)
Unwelcome to visitors. That’s sort of what I thought but I’m sure Kelly’s 2.4 million friends will both keep the secret and be very respectful when they paddle out and shaka Eddie Rothman who happens to live nearby.
Finnegan wrote: “Matt Warshaw, surfing’s unofficial historian, says that the sport now has only…”
Big step from “unofficial” to “self-proclaimed”
Yeah thanks heaps Kelly ya daft cunt.
Took a dekko at V-land this arvo and this was what I sawr, ya bastard.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Keep the break you grew up on protected brah, its your property and your right!! Its so nice to see a white Hawaiian-Brazo keeping his 1-turn wave sacred. Its a shame Oahu’s answer to snapper rocks had to get out this way. Sponsored riders are just going to come in by chopper and jump from 20m up straight down onto the boil, then do aquaturds all through the lineup before dropping in on the village elders
Well, apart from that one time. But it was one of Italo’s girls so I felt obliged.
joel will never go right, nor can he surf a thruster under 7 foot
Joel’s a rad surfer but seems to have anger management issues. Fuck the both of them.
It’s possible that Kelly is somewhat upset with Taylor Steele , who just released all of his momentum generation videos on YouTube and not just the Slater parts ? So, he threw him and Adriano like pool party with the Dale Velzy Smoke Bomb , to slow down Steele’s momentum , and to keep the spotlight on his bald pate ?
I think he’s mixing V-Land with NLand. That old fucker
That missed field goal by the Chicago Bear’s place kicker inspired a rewatch of Buffalo ’66.
Check out Vincent Gallo in the poster. Does he look like someone we know?
Or is someone we know trying to look like him?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
The Christina Ricci character looks like a gal from Sudbury, Ontario who came to the North Shore in 2006.
She met John Philbin and then the guy who John based Turtle on tried to swoop her at a party at Waimea Falls Park.
She needed rescuing. Some damsels need a lot of rescuing.
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This was the year Andy beat Kelly in the final at Pipe. Kelly had that cat in the bag – sewn up and done, but Andy came back and beat him fair and square. Not an easy thing at Pipe.
This was the year Pearl Jam played a private party in the Peacock Pavilion after the Eddie opening ceremony.
Eddie came out with a bottle of wine and a ukulele and played Soon Forget.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
This was also the year of the big skate event at the Cholo Bowl, with a lot of talent on hand.
Steph was sweet and sexy and a little sad like the Layla character in Buffalo ’66.
She’d never really been anywhere and was in awe of Hawaii, and meeting a movie star and all of it.
She got a tattoo of a gecko.
Christina Ricci is really really good in Buffalo ’66.
Vincent Gallo is a notorious prick – the Billy Walsh character on Entourage was based on Gallo.
But he made a lot of movie for $1.5 million.
And wow, there’s Jan Michael Vincent, starting to look a bit decrepit.
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At a Christmas party recently at Pat Farley’s house, Pat O’Neill told a story about going to Mexico with Cheech Marin and Jan Michael Vincent.
Steph died last year of something mysterious.
Like the Layla/Wendy Balsam character in Buffalo ’66 she was sweet and a little sad.
Sorry this was kind of the point.
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The most romantic and ancient profession!
Good tip, fortunately I’m not one to pay for companionship
That’s what I used to say.
Fuck I was an idiot back then.
Fuck, if I surfed anywhere these fucks surfed….bring a camera would be excuse to be beaten!
EGO freaks
I was trying to tune my youngests kindy teacher a while back and she goes..
How come when your boy sees a goat he says Kelly?
I called him over and showed him a picture of Kelly and he says, Goat.
And how do you spell goat young BeX ?
With letters
Was expecting / hoping for something somewhat more beX RATED .
Bexpect the unbexpected ?
Err… Goaty?
I used to live in the apartments that used to be right by V-land. I’ve had the left pretty good but it spills out to super shallow reef with sharp coral. The cost for surfing the lefts is frequent bleeding. Then there is the left that Phantoms morphs into after it backs off. That left breaks all the way into V-land’s outside. You can grab that and then it tuns into big V-Land and you just change directions and get the big V-Land right tube. I used to back-door big Phantoms from it’s right shoulder, get hugely tubed and connect it all the way through V-Land and step off on the beach. It’s probably the longest ride around. My old home! I lived on the North Shore in the mid 80’s to mid 90’s.
Neat!
I should have added that the left will give you the sound of your fins scraping the reef and when you get rolled you will have dings and blood. Maybe a place to send people that hate you. Though it sets up so nice that it suckered me in many times and then I remember again why we don’t go left at V-Land.
is the “H” for Ho?
No I’m not that Mike but he was my neighbor and I remember Mason riding with his dad on a long board probably before he could even walk.
My old home, too, but I was not the charger you were. Dude that is some heavy shiite! Hats off to ya for making that ride. I must have been a neighbor of yours – I lived on Makanale St. right next door to Herr Rothman in a sweet beachfront mansion with some other navy pilots in the early-mid 90’s; military variable housing allowance let us afford the digs. I only rode V-land on the less crowded days and the left always had fewer takers. I did not have the cajones or skill for Phantoms. Freddieland was manageable for me on days when it started breaking outside at Phantoms and Revelations started to break. I always seemed to have better days at Backyards and Boneyards.
I remember the old V-land apartments, the crappy but convenient food at D’Amicos pizza, and the beautiful beaches Kahuku side of V-land. I guess the V-land apartments are a gated community now.
When I started on the North Shore five guys at Gas Chambers was a crowd but I could surf ’till I was exhausted. As the spots got more crowded the progression was to get the bigger waves or surf the bigger days in order to keep getting enough waves. I was a Sunset Local too and eventually came to live for those 12-18′ days with overcast and two or maybe three separate swells happening at once. Big shifty peaks, cold and no photographers and few takers. That was my joy I could read the shifting peaks well and got plenty of waves. One February when I was between jobs the surf stayed above 12 feet the entire month and I really hit my stride then. But the crowds got worse every year.
Phantoms only shows it’s face when big. I called it “that phantom peak” and kept asking everybody around what it’s name was but nobody had an answer. Tom Montali said “just call it Phantom Peak” but I liked “Phantoms” and so it became. Taking off on the peak is very difficult because finding the right spot so far out to sea is real hard especially with different sized sets where you have to get outside fast or get caught inside. I broke my 9’3″ Lundy orange yellow tiger stripe board on the peak getting held up by the wind. I’d latter take the right shoulder drops for a while but they were just a drop and then you are in the channel. I finally started to just pull in from the right side and back door the whole thing and it worked well. North Shore’s Rock Pile is similar. Phantoms left takes a 45 degree bend after the tube and then you get some wall and then it backs off to nearly nothing. You can stay with it though and it reforms to the wave that will take you to V-Land. I’ve connected through many times.
D’Amicos! Yea but the breakfasts were pretty good. Funniest story about D’Amicos… Ozzy Ozbounre and his family were around on vacation and Ozzy asked me “Mike where do you eat”. So next day I saw him again and he was appalled by D’Amicos. He then gifted the restaurant money to fix it up. It went from a raw dusty concrete floor to nice big black and white checker board tiles. The beige cider block walls became bright and covered with art. It really was a transformation. Thanks Ozzy!
I lived in six different places during my time there. It was always a struggle to be employed well, have a decent home, have decent surfboards and to keep the car running. The shortage of girlfriends on the north shore was painful too. It was hard but there were so many days when having a surf in prime conditions that I said to myself that I truly believe that I am having more fun today than anyone in the whole wide world.
V-Land apartments… Cheapest fixtures, almost no maintenance. It took them two months to replace the refrigerator and they never took the old one off of the patio.
But in the early 90’s it was $435 a month for the two bedroom with the V-Land and Phantoms view.
cojones
The left is not softer than the right. Shallower actually with a hideous end closeout section. Super deep tubes possible. Thanks Slater you little fucker.
foot looks ok. probably flair up again in may (or whenever rio is on)
is their anything he doesn’t ruin?
Dude never misses an opportunity to promote his shit-ass boards.
Is that a new surf variant I should be aware of? Like foiling or SUPing?
We live in exciting times with all these inventions!!!
I have surfed V-Land once and the only thing that I can tell you is that the Brazilians on the North Shore enjoy the wave quite a bit. Especially the ones over 40. I know that because the entire session I was worried that the Finnish backpacker I had picked up and left lolling on the beach would be snatched from my grasp by some middle-aged Brazzo with a house near Sunset beach and a mound of cocaine on his bedside table.
Tell us more about the Finn
She was a peculiar little thing, as all Finns are… wore socks all the time… in Hawaii. Unsuspecting at first sight with plain Jane bangs, but turned heads every time she dropped kit on the beach. Body like a Nordic queen.
Euros are fucken weird about socks. I reckon clean carpet gives them a stiffy.
Socks keep your feet warm in cold climates.
Europe can be very cold.
Clean carpets need stiffy juice.
Ergo proctologist id est yeppoon whomping gimp band.
Wiggs , Socks are to Northern Europeans , what Sunscreen and sunglasses are to Australians ? It’s wet , cold and miserable for at least 8 months a year and makes the Surf Coast seem like the Gold Coast .Depending on the family, shoes are banned inside the house , Japanese style , but for most of the year socks and or slippers are the norm . I get a stiffy in a jiffy just thinkin* about wearing shorts …………….with or without a pair of grey socks with my sandals .
Better than eating dirty carpet, n’est-ce pas?
Finns are backward.
Bicko and CB are a bad influence on you bex.
I’m very easily led.
Sounds like a nice 3some with bang bang jane
vland is one of the best waves on the strip, but one of the most crowded
Not related at all to Slates blowing up the V-Land left, but super interesting convo w/ skater Lance Mountain: https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Get’s interesting around the 20 min mark where they talk about contests, the olympics and the affect on skate parks and the progression of skating. Could correlate to wave pools? I dunno…
But it IS because of the Grit that i watched the Dustin Dollin interview, and then Youtube served me up this vid today… so thanks.