VAL Matt Damon joins the toxic stew at Australia's most dangerous wave!
Surfing the Pass, that kooky sand-bottom right in Byron Bay, is hard work. Like, really hard.
Imagine every surf craft that has ever existed. Then imagine fifty of each of them crammed into a lineup a couple of hundred yards long, piloted by a lottery-ball selection of humans who have never stepped foot in the ocean before.
Here’s Susan, 45, Iowa, waiting patiently to be collected by the next wall of foam on her 8’6″ soft board. There’s Akumi, 33, Tokyo, flying down the line on a 7’ aliia, screaming for the gods as she locks into a decapitation death spiral.
Here’s Levi, 23, Melbourne-slash-Byron, awkwardly soul arching through the entire mess, leashless on his 14″ double ender.
The Pass easily surpasses Bondi, and is close to three-foot Snapper Rocks, as the most dangerous surf spot on the east coast of Australia – if you rank danger by chance of collision occasioning actual board and bodily harm.
For the everyday surfer it is a write off. A world-class wave buried under a blanket of narcissistic greed. A sad indictment of the human race’s propensity to make too much out of a good thing.
And to that toxic mix you can now add Vulnerable Adult Learner Jason Bourne, safety crouching a two-footer, ready to put you into a sleeper hold if you dare drop in.
As reported by The Daily Telegraph,
Matt Damon and his wife takes (sic) to the waves in Byron Bay family holiday
Hollywood superstar Matt Damon can’t get enough of the land Down Under.
Back holidaying in the northern NSW beach town of Byron Bay, Damon, was snapped hitting the waves for a surf on Thursday afternoon.
The Damon’s (sic) also met up with their good mates, the Hemsworth’s (sic), who often host their fellow A-listers in Byron Bay.
(Read the story here if you can get past the dang paywall.)
It begs the question.
Would you burn Jason Bourne? Keeping in mind he may even have Thor as backup water patrol?
I think I’d pass.