(...and penis)
Billabong announced recently that 100% of its boardshorts will be made from recycled plastics to much cheering and general happiness from environmentalists and surfers who consider themselves environmentalists when the Norwegians come into town all menacing and efficient and let’s look at the picture of how it all happens very quickly. Let’s do it together.
So they take plastic bottles and turn them into pellets that get spun into yarn which gets transformed into fabric that wraps around your thighs and also, I don’t want to be crass here, but also your penis.
Oh, I don’t want to take anything away from Billabong’s environmentalism, nor yours, but isn’t plastic known to be very nasty substance, leeching harmful chemicals forever etc? And of course we don’t want it in the ocean but do we want it wrapped around our thighs and also penises?
Maybe.
Maybe it’s exactly what we deserve.
But if we didn’t deserve it and/or you, like me, don’t believe in karma then what should Billabong do with all their new plastic?
I would like to see wonderful plastic statues of Joel Parkinson erected in every major and mid-major Australian town. Very realistic statues that look like this…
But what do you think?
Id buy board-shorts made from pre-loved barbie dolls.
cotton boardies FTW. Soft and supple around your bottom and you feel like you’re still in the ocean hours after you get out.
The plural of penis is penii. You plebeian!
Wear footy shorts. Easy.
Rasta now theres one plastic cunt
Any truth to the rumour that when Rip Curl (or maybe Quik) did the same thing years back, the demand forced them to use brand new plastic bottles instead of recycled?
… pretty sure billabong peddled their ‘green credentials’ back in ’08 / ’09, with Rasta at the helm in their marketing campaign.
Nothing comes between me and my Calvin Klein’s.
I’ve decided to start making my own shorts by sewing together scraps of 4 and 6 ounce fiberglass cloth, recycled from the bins of local board builders.
I haven’t actually made a pair yet, but I’m really itching to try my idea out.
…but you killed him anyway, as a focal point for the American people so as to distract them from a disastrous economic policy?
Tell that to Venezuela
The imagination of kids .. precomputa
I’d use it as a parko voodoo doll and stick nails thru his eyes
Erect them in your town buddy, we don’t need another fake hero
At last weekend wear
That doubles as a lunch wrap
For the work day grind
You ALL need to barrage the City government for failing to mitigate the harm of stormwater runoff into local beaches. DO IT!!! I mailed a letter last week and will do so again. Evil triumphs when good men do nothing. DO SOMETHING and PROTECT OUR OCEANS NOW!!!!!! Fuck this backwater town with no runoff treatment that’s fucking up our health and most precious passion of our lives – SURFING.
City Administration Building
202 C Street, 11th Floor
San Diego, CA 92101
Phone: (619) 236-6330
Email: [email protected]
Or
ronburgundy@stayassy. com
This would have just as much effect.
Wrong. Politicians act upon receipt of mass written communication imploring action. That is how democracy works. Man up and take a minute to send an email to effectuate change.
10%of the time, it works everytime.
I heard if you give Serge Dedina a blowy then they’ll finally get the TJ River cleaned up, too.
Perhaps I’m just being a cynical cunt, but my thoughts are that the pollys only take an interest if they see some personal gain in it. I also don’t think they’d accept my correspondence from NSW as a valid ‘voter concern’.
Edit: Oh and ‘democracy’ is a sham, unfortunately. I wish it were not so but it is is.
No tin-foil hat here.
Was your mouth out you north Korean fool.
Unless you’ve got dictator ambitions? Can I be 2IC?
Ooooh I’d fuckin LUUUURVE to be a dictator.
So many people up against the wall in the first few days.
Let’s just say that we’d have fewer troubles from Jetskis in the lineups.
Do you live north of the 54? If so, I don’t care. If you live where the 52 meets the coast, I really don’t care.
Ahmmmm… actually pretty much all board shorts are made out of plastic.
Sorry…
On the bright side, as phatwankerr pointed out, you now have the perfect excuse for any current or future erectile dysfunction.
I realize you don’t actually care, but nylon and any synthetic fibers currently in your fave pair of Hurleys are plastic.
Makes u wanna hurley
It’s not a doll. It’s an action figure.
So when my crotch rot eventually eats through the plastic and I throw away my boardshorts I’m still throwing away plastic into the landfill?
Yes they forgot a very important part of the consumption trail, you’re supposed to throw the surfer out with the boardshorts.
Landfills are just future reefs
Phthalates. Phthalates disrupt hormones and are already known to affect sexual function in men.
it is used in the production of plastic to make them flexible.
does this mean in 5 years time billabongs entire team will be soft cocks?
Will have to do testing on Jack Robbo. Given the relationship he is in now looks stable, detailed data must be mined on how often and how long ‘things’ take. In 5 years time the data can be analysed and statistically interpreted, taking into account the slide in long term relationships over time and/or whether or not marriage has occurred.
Until then, wear Billabong boardies at your own risk.
Also, will they look at using Plastic Bertrand as their spokesmodel given their penchant for ageing rockstars?
Stable as his QS results
This is the year. Obviously.
Ca Plane Pour Moi Boardies
Can’t be any worse for ya than straddling a toxic, plastic-covered piece of carcinogenic foam for hours at a time.
Plus I heard that any pernicious effects of such plastic-pipi cancer shorts wash off with a quick acetone bath. Shaper recommended, glasser approved!