Welcome to the #eloera!
Change is always exciting and I’m sorry that I’m so late to the game here. I’ve been busy driving back from Santa Monica plus Nick Carroll already covered it better than I could ever dream. You should please read his take on the revamped World Surf League tour format.
Oh I don’t think this will last long unless the world gets attached to watching losers surf. As pointed out by Mr.Carroll, a professional surfer can lose his first heat, not win his second heat and end up winning the contest.
How?
I don’t know. That’s why you are supposed to read Nick.
But what do you think about it? You like?
Also, Erik “Elo” Logan has snuck a new hashtag into the #blurrV2 mix.
#Eloera
And what do you think about that?
Like?
Elo give us man on man one off events like boxing! Madina vs Wilson 1 hour at perfect Ulu, next week one hour at snapper floodlit night event, fireworks, shit talking, press conferences. come on, you could be the new Showtime! Sell to the jocks!
Undisputed heavyweight surf champ of the world: uniting the air, high performance, big wave and slab belts.
Dumb as this new WSL move is, the smart punter now just skips the first two rounds completely and starts with round three.
So really, they HAVE shortened the tour…
(takes notes)
deeeeep conspiracy. And valid.
It feels weirdly amateur hour to me to change the contest format for the Olympic-qualifying year. That thing should be set. If y’all want to change it, you change after 2020 for the next Olympic cycle.
Are you sure that the ISF run their events in the same format? Does anyone know how many competitors there will be? Thankfully these stooges at the WSL won’t have anything to do with it!
The CT serves as the qualifying process for a chunk of the Olympic field — so yah, the WSL does influence the Olympics significantly!
Two things.
Firstly my comment is about the format of the event, not qualifying for the Olympics.
isasurf.org has the qualification criteria. 20 competitors in men’s and women’s.
Secondly, only 10 of the 20 competitors come through via WSL. The rest come via continental representation and world surfing games.
Since there will only be 20 competitors in the Olympics there ain’t gonna be a format like the WSL if for no other reason than 20 doesn’t divide by 3. Makes 3 man heats a bit tricky.
Well kinda. 20 boys and 20 girls. 18 of the total 40 are guaranteed to be WSL seeds, 22 will qualify through other means.
The Olympics surfing event will not look anything like a WSL CT, the format is entirely different.
You could lose two heats before and win so it’s not much different. I don’t mind it, the ocean is uneven playing field at the best of times and a little allowance for such weirdness should be allowed for.
I don’t want to watch a comp where the only surfers you care to watch might have bowed out first round due to a slow heat or and onshore coming up.
And if you come last two heats in row then there’s no excuse.
Given they are planning on overlapping heats just make them all 4 man heats. That’s the way they used to be. More guys in the water means less waiting for someone to catch a wave.
Also there’s more potential for hassling and skulduggery in the lineup. Just ask 93 world champ Derek Ho!
that was my very first thought.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
I for one am truly excited that the Electric Light Orchestra will be getting involved in the World Surf Legume.
I hope they will doing some live shows during events for eager fans to enjoy with all our hearts.
Does anyone know who they have as lead rapper now that Fredrick Mercury has retired?
Is David ‘Dave’ Mustang still the head guitarist in this prestigious pop ensemble?
#WorldSurfLegumeFOEVA #SUGW
Will they sing Evil Woman at the girls preso?
That’d be cool.
Megadeth will be there hanging around while the WSL vice president hands out the gear.
Who is the vice president
Does he get drug tested?
Mmmm. Well that band you mentioned sounds unpleasant.
When I was a child, we would gently croon the melodies of a lively bunch of pop-pickers called (and my memory might be failing) Metallique-Ah-Hah.
I believe they had a little number called Master of Poupon (about their love of whole-grain Dijon mustard).
Hey guys! Chime in, if you can remember any other ‘hits’ they had!!!
Nothing Eric says matters
Eric the sandman
Or one my favorites: ‘Ride the Lightening” which was poignant ode to to Michael Jackson’s skin-bleaching regime.
so it takes the first 3 rounds to sort out who should really be back on the QS.
CT needs to change to top 16.
The money that they save on having to pay for 34 surfers on the CT can be spent to improve the QS.
There is already 7 primes on the QS this year, get that up to 10, with the inclusion of some world class waves and the QS is a legitimate tour on its own right.
And count all points on QS and CT together in one pot for CT qualification, no more cruising through at 15-20th year in year out…
With a smaller field and target strikes at prime locations with long overlapping waiting windows, running leaderboard competitions in pumping waves. Then have the QS as more like the CT now, the proving ground for up and comers grinding their way to a legitimate dream tour.
Brilliant!
I look forward to Joey turps explaining it to me in his brain melting way.
No, no, no …
But yea, you’re right. Fuck, I can hear this already.
He’s got another one of those cum towels on his shoulder and Joey looks a bit satisfied. There’s some still on erics liip.
ELO s a playa yo!
Wonder what the surfer’s rep thinks? (Ace B?) Seems they (surfers) would prefer to have a couple swings at it after traveling halfway across the globe and getting bounced early. This will potentially have a profound effect on the slow starters this year. Where’s the number crunchers out there?
it was the surfers reps who pushed hard for this format
Look I do not mean to be unnecessarily cruel, but these are people who in an elimination competition, in which they lost in the first round and were evicted from the contest for instance, would be paid $12,000 for travelling to Tahiti and surfing for half an hour. This is not onerous work.
And as far as number crunching goes, watch for my next Surfline piece, in which I coldly break down the current top six (plus JJF), heat score by heat score over the past five years. You will find it illuminating, if you are a colossal pro surfing super nerd that is.
A CPSSN?
Is there a treatment for that?
Like for mild to severe CPOD?
Is it still 12k for a last place finish?
Can’t possibly give 12k for a 33rd. They will have to adjust points and money. I think if you get 33rd then it should be 0 points and $0.
What’s Surfline?
Not another VAL website please
I’m drawing a line in the sand!
Can’t wait. Sometimes, many times numbers reflect a clearer picture than words could ever hope to convey.
“…traveling halfway across the globe and getting bounced early”
Poor diddums. My heart is bleeding for their woeful wittle faces.
And they make 12K USD for the honor!
Serious question: Is that going to cover flights, boards, accommodation, entourage etc? I reckon not.
I reckon nobody on the CT is doing it without further significant sources of income. And if any of ’em can’t do an event on $6000, they can lose some entourage. (yeah I know, there’s quite a few who spend more than that per event, but that’s because they have a LOT of money.)
I guess they could also claim almost all of it on ‘business expenses’ for tax porpoises.
Fuck… what a scam.
Genius work/life balance.
#eloerror
It takes a special kinda ego to write the word era after your name. Ever. Anywhere.
#eloegoera
The elo era
Like the Cretaceous era
May end quite badly
Those poor lobsters and crabs.
Cretaceous Period, not era 😜
The Elo Period!
I can’t stand the sight
Of menstruating dinosaurs
So era it is!
it’s extended the misery of Rd2 into Rd3.
Gunna be a long year.
The real misery is knowing your boss is tennis player and having to travel with Brazilian ass shats.
Can’t you see E-Lo in tennis get-up?
Looks like a natural.
But Round 4 matters now, so maybe a draw? Also there’s so little mention of the overlapping heats, that should really be the headline, would definitely improve viewing experience on the whole
its actually the loss of 3man Rd4 I mourn the most.
That routinely produced the best surfing on Tour. It was kind of a free surf with benefits.
Yes, Ive always thought round one was the problem. So anticlimactic.
Oh. That was literally the best heat. Why’d they get rid of that thing? These people are dumby!
It used be that until they made 3rd place elimination instead of round 5 then everyone went conservative
That’s good cause fuck the years go by quick when you an old fart.
They should all be elimination rounds. What the fuck is the point? Just put all 36 or whatever it is out there at once and see who surfs best.
And no priority.
Loera is the name of the Brazilian or whatever drug czar who gets ripped off and killed in Triple Frontier – now showing on Netflx.
Is that a hidden message?
A plea for help from deep within?
WSL is actually funded by drug money?
A first for the surf industry.
And ConfuseUs say: “He who is injured and has to get surgery after eating it on an artificial wave – that does the same thing, every time – doesn’t get to give anyone shit – ever.”
What about his proctologist?
Surly that’s OK?
Wow!
Getting surgery whilst on an artificial wave!!!
What exciting times we live in!!!
EDIT: Ah… you edited your comment so now mine makes no sense. Cheating!
You wanna be on a longboard.
I wanna be on ANY board right now.
CB, you need to go surf. There’s the ocean. Figure it out.
Love,
Us cunts.
Ricmatic, I need to go surf. There’s the ocean. I need to figure it out so I can stop being such an annoying shit on here.
Love,
Another cunt.
Ok ben… you’ve been rolling out this line forever now. Can you explain to me why it was such an incredible sin to bounce off Surf Ranch’s floor, dislocating my very sloppy shoulder for the 30th time? The wave doesn’t do the same thing every time, for one, and even if it did it was my second right ever so it was pretty new to me. It’s time for you to either find some new material or just leave. Being boring is the worst of all and you’ve crossed that line months ago.
You dislocated your shoulder 30 times?
Hey the Loera catch was pretty good.
As for the rest of it, I will say this in the language of Dr. Freud. Or was he Austrian? Whatever:
Ich bin sicher, dass Sie eine nette Person sind, aber …
Sie sind besessen vom Profisurfen und finden ständig Fehler bei Profisurfern, weil Sie sich tief im Inneren wünschen, Sie wären so talentiert wie ein Surfer und waren so cool und könnten davon leben ein großer Surfer zu sein.
Sie beschuldigen ständig andere Menschen, Köche zu sein, weil Sie tief im Inneren wissen, dass Sie … Nun, Sie wissen, was Sie sind.
Und Sie lieben es, einen Milliardär wie Dirk Ziff zu verspotten, weil er den Reichtum und die Freiheit hat, zu tun, was er will, wenn Sie ein Mann sind, der im Wesentlichen Ihr Leben damit verschwendet, dass Sie über das Surfen schreiben und ein lebendiges Schreiben von Büchern herausbringen, die wahrscheinlich nicht gut verkaufen in einer Zeit, die zunehmend Analphabeten ist. Oui Paging Dr. Freud !!!!
Ooops Freud was Austrian but Google Translate doesn’t do Austrian for some reason.
Oh well.
Chas: You can’t make fun of people for being kooks – or make fun of Surf Ranch – when you actually got hurt riding the damned thing.
Yes, it does do the same thing every time.
And you got seriously injured riding it.
Has anyone else been injured riding the thing?
I mean – geez. There are limits.
There are standards of decorum in journalism.
Even surf journalism.
And abiding by those standards is what separates us from the mongrel races – as do spelling, punctuation and grammar.
#newguyfroth all up in Turpel’s face and hair.
so you can get through rounds 1 and 2 with second place and then need to win 5 heats in a row to get the trophy. correct me if I am wrong, but is this not the same requirement as when they had a non elimination rounds 1 and 4 only the wins now need to be consecutive. and if you get 3rd you are out. seems to me this is making heats more critical and keeping the pressure up for the rest of the rounds.
Nick’s smurfline (its so blue and white over there!) write up is correct.. the 36 thing just does not break down properly. Maybe if they overlapped the heats more when it’s on the cook ala Pipe Maters it could work, and I get it, a bad call or two and you’ve still got a sniff but.. still.. losers, or rather non-winners abound come round 3. And shit waves.
#softmanicuredhands
#sinofadoublechin
I see Turdpel is still around. Not an auspicious start to the E-Lo Era (Rik looks like he’s trying to pick Joe’s nose)…. brrrrapp #shortlived #eloera #fail #speedblur #tashasboy #alphavillerocksforastro #oprahappreciatesme
#photoshopacockonit