Finally, a luxury way to experience the best of the World Surf League!
I don’t need to preface this with any sort of introduction. Some things, as they say, sell themselves and this is one of those things so let us turn to the World Surf League’s desk of Very Important Person Experiences that Journey Beyond without further ado.
I would suggest having your credit card within arm’s reach.
For the first time, we’re taking you deep inside the adventure of the tour with VIP experiences beyond the waves on a global journey of discovery. Get passes now.
Now, you should just blindly click in your details details and press “purchase” but, since ye have little faith here. I’ll let the WSL give you details.
Snapper. $1200 gets you…
-Prime viewing, screens, and shade at the WSL VIP lounge every day the competition is ON
-Complimentary food and drink at the WSL VIP lounge
-Athlete meet and greet
-VIP welcome bag
-VIP Access to The Drop concert in Coolangatta
Bali. $13,299 gets you…
– Beachfront Pool Suite at Komune Resort for the duration of the event window (May 13-25)
– Prime, poolside, competition viewing
– Complimentary drinks when the competition is ON
– Daily Resort meal credit (up to $815/person total value)
– Two lay day activities that showcase the region (e.g night surfing, waterfall hike, sunrise yoga)
– Access to exclusive parties and concerts
– VIP Odyssey welcome bag
– An invitation to a personalized athlete mixer
Margs. $9499 gets you…
– Premier accommodations within a 10 minute drive from site for the duration of the event window (May 29- June 9)
– Prime competition viewing
– Complimentary meals and drinks when the competition is ON
– Daily breakfast at your accomodation
– Two lay day activities that showcase the region (e.g wine tasting & vineyard tours, cave exploring, lunch on a private white sand beach)
– VIP access to exclusive parties and The Drop concert
– VIP Odyssey welcome bag
– An invitation to a personalized athlete mixer
Chopes. $10,488.90 gets you…
-Private bungalows tucked into the jungle await you. Live like the locals do for the duration of the event window (Aug 21- Sept 1)
– Prime competition viewing from the channel on a VIP only catamaran
– Complimentary meals and drinks when the competition is ON
-Daily breakfast at your accommodations
– Two lay day activities that showcase the region (e.g snorkeling day w/ private group lunch, hiking the iconic mountains, exploring hidden coves and untouched beaches)
– Access to exclusive events, parties and concerts
– VIP Odyssey welcome bag
– An invitation to a personalized athlete mixer
So? Which one are you going to choose? Will you invite any of your friends from here? Bells ($1299) and J-Bay ($8623.85) are available too.
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I have no comeback!
Haha, DOUCHEBAG ZONE. Anyone calling themselves an “Influencer” can DRINK MY ASS.
Does it include free surf lessons with Backward-Fin Beth?
I’d like to invite the good people at the WSL to drink my a$$.
I would like to invite the good people at the WSL to drink my ass.
I consider a load all over my face payment enough
How much does it cost to buy Brutus’ spot on the Bells steps?
Benevolent propagation to those who decide to click lighters and spurt small yellow flame on bone colored parchment. Watching the borders get brown and dance inward with indifferent lurch forward movement. Watching the corners shrivel like a drop of water on a small scrunched up straw wrapper between sips of soda and partially hydrogenated French fries dunked in red tomato paste. Where’s the toy from the Happy Meal? Watching this curious little piece of white rubbish pulse awkwardly and grow and wiggle into an existence of its own. Awkward quantum expansion. Growing in substance and girth. A lotus flower emerging from the mud. Because there is no life without death. No beach without shells.
But maybe we can make peace without war. Locking up the cold war key and throwing in into the river Thames. Grey industrial factories and with smoke stack efficiency and small black nuggets of coal. Streams of swirling economic sanction and regulation and private philanthropy crisscrossing beautifully in a whirlwind around the self-proclaimed fiscal conservatives who don’t give a damn about social issues. But we do. We glide on water to remember this fact. Homosexuality and abortion. Privacy and tech. Less being more, more, more.
Does throwing shade at a problem help in the long run? Conversations can be cool because it’s like real time commenting using the keyboard of your mouth instead of writing words on a screen waiting for an ellipsis to appear signaling the message
was sent, digested, and replied in kind.
Long live the socially stunted millennial.
Translation
I went to Uni.
Fuck it, I gotta get in on this action. I have an extra room so I can host the US Open of surfing sponsored by Michelob Ultra Pure Gold brewed with organic hops experience.
Escorted bike ride to the contest site(after I get off work)
Welcome bag includes: wallet chain, wife beater, and pit bull puppy.
Lay day activities include: getting tatted up at HB Tattoo, spending $87 for a shirt at HSS, and trying to pick up on the tatted up pierced chick working TK Burgers.
Attend the 909er mixer at Hurricanes(includes dancing with thick hispanic chicks)
Adventure day: ever wonder what its like to surf HB on a big south swell? Paddle out at the pier and when you get to Bolsa Chica State Beach paddle in and I’ll be there to pick you up.
Room is limited so sign up now!
What is an Odyssey welcome bag?
Just putting it out there – if anyone’s considering spending ZAR 122,583 (aka USD 8,623.85) on the Jbay event rather stay at a local AirBnB and pay me the difference, and I’ll suck off you and your friends all day every day for the whole waiting period.
So rich jockniffers get to pay to hang out with the cool kids? The new “surf culture”? Interesting to see if they turn a profit.
But listen up you VALs and EIs and VIPs, none o’ that pesky Instagramming!…No transmissions!
From the WSL VIP Experiences T&C:
“Holder agrees that: (a) neither Holder nor Minor(s) will transmit or aid in transmitting any information about the event to which your ticket grants admission or any entertainment, attractions, warm-ups, practices, pre-Event, post-Event or other activities, promotions or competitions offered in connection with the WSL’s Championship Tour surf competitions (collectively, the “Event) including, but not limited to, any account, description, picture, video, audio, reproduction or other information concerning the Event (collectively, the “Event Information”);”
Where’s the fun in that?
Isn’t sharing this kind of experience on social media the prime reason the experience exists in the first place?
Ruined
Very unQuiksilver!
Waddaya reckon they’d they do if people treated it like a flight to Denpasar and really got stuck in at 6 am? What if those same people did it 4 days in a row? They can’t say it’s not surfing…. and incidentally, snapper has the cheapest tickets, and the most Surf bogans per capita…. think this could get written off before it starts???
Failing Arts 4 times was surprisingly easy
I think the happy lens technology would just melt under the beam of his intense gaze, drip from the frames and cause 2nd degree burns to his bellybutton.
Extreme product field testing
I can’t help but feel that they have missed a golden opportunity
What about the commentary experience for an extra 20g
You can exchange wows with Pottz
Go to maths class with Côte
And get bored shitless with Turpel
20grams ay!?
You’d need it wit joseph
How would he comment your racking up?
Massiive lines stacked to the edge of the booth
Goes BIG on the inhale!!
Medical team doing all they can to help….
“He’s just gunna sit on the (e)ski to reset.”
Get it Up Yeppoon with a free VIP pass! Only $5,368.27!!!
Join in with the sax-metal gimp band for an hour as they pound the surf! Complimentary souvenir faux-leather leotard and free instrument rental.
$25 of free drinks and a sausage-effect roll at the nearest pub!!
Private Mini Occ-cast!
Regale a former World Champignon Mark Occhilupo impersonator with your most outrageous surf story as he looks on confused for 10 minutes. Free DVD copy to take home and show your friend!!!
Lick the icing of the giant whomping doughnut!!! !!
Free SUP safari in the Keppel Park Racecourse dam!!! !!!
They should get you on the marketing team
Cause I’m Fully Psyched!!
Great! I’ll forward you my details for your immediate payment!
Monthly payments?