"The human body craves fast food cheeseburgers!"
Do you love and believe in science? Are you what the “mainstream media” would call a “scientist?” Well then you’ll love the latest episode of the Joe Rogan Experience where famous professional tow-surfer Laird Hamilton swings in to peddle super hot saunas, super cold ice machines and the glories of nose breathing.
What is nose breathing?
Oh, simple. Breathing through your nose but better than that it makes your body invincible, I think. You can run across the entire contiguous United States of America then fight a man and still win if you nose breathe.
You can have stunningly blonde hair with all sorts of gorgeous accents and be seventy-years-old if you nose breathe and you don’t believe me?
I mock you while exhaling through my nose. The worst sort of mock.
Learn you ignorant beast. You non-220-degree-ice-bath-taking fool.
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How did Joe Rogan’s head get so dang big? Did he eat someone else’s head and it merged with his? Looks like a pumpkin
Let me guess through the power of his nose breathing he put the fire out?
And here I thought you were going to tell me he developed a vaccine to cure a disease or solved an enigma of quantum mechanics. Trains Hockey players and owns a house in Kauai and one in Malibu, He must be brilliant or perhaps you mistake intelligence for materialism.
Correction: he’s not smart not even close to Smart in fact dumb as a fucking brick. Everything else you said is a fairly accurate
Laird Hamilton:
Abstract thinker, theoretical genius and scintillating conversationalist…Or the biggest douche bag to ever stand on a surfboard or alternative surf craft, ever.
Knew a guy who used to race sidecar motorcycles. Was competitive without a lot of success. Was advised to mix some castor oil in with the fuel. Started getting up the pointy end more often. Put it down to the other racers figuring he had an advantage that skill couldn’t beat.
Disqus is being a bit of a mouth breather lately.
In the Die Bundesrepublik Deutschland , I have an electric mower with a 30m cord which I try to run over or strangle myself with once a week from May till October before it goes off to the cellar to hibernate for the 6 months of Winter .
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New from XPT! The Laird signature model nose-breathing enhancement mask. Prevents airflow to and from your mouth, forcing you to only breath through your nose. Should be worn up to 20 hours a day, including when making love!
3 Ring Circus ?
3 Ding-a-ling circus
It’s the old dad joke . Which goes “ My Dad was in a 3 Ring Circus . Him and 2 other Arseholes “ . Could possibly be rebooted for the up coming Olympic Surfing 5 Ring Circus ?
Bronzer!!!
Who is Joe Rogan and why should I care?
I think he’s related to that Indian actor; Rogan Josh.
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“Nobody Nose, the trouble I’ve seen”
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Ok I’m done now I think (I hope)
I’m sorry I didn’t keep up my own proboscis/eye. Work intervened.
Ah one can never tell when the absurd repetition fog will roll in. There will be more, I’m certain of it!
Ah one can never tell when the absurd repetition fog will roll in. There will be more, I’m certain of it!
…Ah one can never tell when the absurd repetition fog will roll in. There will be more, I’m certain of it!…
I thought you may be going through some external transformation stage before you announce to the world that from this day forward you are to be known as Jordy’s Snout ?
Jeez that made laugh. Not sure why
He is the Larry King of our generation.
Single use plastic water bottles? shame Laird SHAAAMMME!!
I just ran a marathon and knocked out a guy. What did I miss?
Fuckin’ Nose Breather…
That Dr Laird , pushing the envelope of fringe science as per usual , assisted only by a jet ski and a paddle , has discovered that 3.8 billion years of evolution has lead us to crave bread , cheese and meat or possibly Mason Ho’s Hawaiian buddy Cheeseburger ? I doubt that his brilliant hypothesis will win him a Nobel Prize, but ,if Lord Ziff can win the Waterman of the Year Award , then it seems anything is possible ?
If he did he be in good company. Adolph Hitler won a Nobel Peace Prize
The most rapey faced dude since bundy
Nothing just breathe through your nose And by the way you may be charged with the aggravating crime of preventing another from doing so
I love Laird and everything but if Joe Rogan had a time machine, he’d use it to interview baby Hitler. Hard pass.
Just to clarify, NUG meant hard pass on the Laird Hamilton interview not baby Hitler.
What an ignorant statement. You lost me at “hard pass”.
He does seem to be living quite well, bro science is what it is. I listened to this while mowing my lawn yesterday and got all manner of clippings and crap lodged in my sinuses.
You’re meant to use a mechanical device to mow your lawn, which operates at approximately a full body-distance away from your nose. Were you perhaps using your teeth?
Now that I actually enjoy turning grass into lawn , they go and invent the evil robot mower . Where was it during my teens to stop me screaming at the heavens and berating old ladies who would walked by commenting how beautiful was the perfume of a freshly cut lawn and me “ Not if your 13 and a forced like a slave to cut it ! “. I love the smell of 2 Stroke in the morning …..
Ha!
Nah just doing 7 seconds in —> 7 seconds (Nose only) out telling myself this making me a stronger, faster, more optimized human. Unfortunately, years of prior experience in hoovering rails has me quite skilled at ‘nose breathing’. BTW, I own the best Victa money can buy, short of a ride on. Cunt of a job, and the waves have been cooking all May, so it was looooong = lots of clippings flying!
Hoover-ers of the world unite and takeover!!!
Oh man.. so many business ideas!
He plays a rad character and non-surfers eat it up, but he’s just too serious about everything. We’re talking about riding pieces of foam and fiberglass in the Ocean, right? It’s pointless in life.
Agreed. One must give up the right to be earnest if one surfs for a living.
But he doesn’t surf for a living. He sells coffee creamer named after himself for a living. If that does not connote a right to be earnest, I am not sure what does.
He doesn’t really look like the reincarnation of Oscar Wilde and he may not change our views on the ‘Importance of Being Earnest ‘ ? Though I can imagine Laird turning up at customs , and when asked if he has anything to declare , uttering “ Only My Genius ! “ ?
life is pointless
You’re even more a barrel-of-laughs than I am.
Human life is indeed pointless in the grand scale, but… since you’re here, why not make it worth your while?
Be creative, if only for your own amusement.
“O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life? Answer. That you are here—that life exists and identity,. That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.” Dead Poets Society .
Correct answer, 100 points!
Not if you breathe through your nose
dhamma.org
Nah, life isn’t pointless. There is boundless value in being a good human and helping others. Have you not watched “Groundhog Day” with Bill Murray?
Not too mention Gary Oldman in the Bad Lieutenant.
I like Harvey better in the original.
My bad I meant Romeo’s Bleeding
Next! A trilogy!