The Divine Miss K: Kanoa Igarashi ushers professional surfing into a fabulous new era!

Ostentatious, exaggerated, gloriously theatrical!

Camp had long vanished from surfing’s proud history and I don’t mean “camp” as in “tent.” I mean “camp” as in “ostentatious, exaggerated, theatrical.” As in RuPaul’s Drag Race.

Now, you may be scratching your head, wondering when surfing’s proud history was ever like RuPaul Drag Race and I will point to Malibu circa mid to late 1950s when men pranced around the beach wearing names like Tubesteak and Da Cat and silly goose outfits but those times passed and most surf journalists thought they would never return.

Until Kanoa Igarashi won in Bali and we were feted with the most wonderful, over-the-top, ferocious display of feminine sexual aggression since Bette Middler’s The Divine Miss M.

Oh it had everything! Uncontrolled screams. Face bashing. Ululation. Open-mouthed hysteria. Passion and real passion, not the sort of manufactured business commonly seen on the Instagram account @drunkgirlsdoingthings.

It was an absolute treat to witness a diva coming out of his shell and feel that it must be putting his fellow competitors on notice. Now that we’ve tasted the marvelous can we ever go back to false-humility, awww shucks, I just got lucky out there today?

Will Kelly Slater try to outdo when he wins Marg River?

Much to discuss.

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Sophie Goldmember
Sophie Goldmember
7 years ago

the fact that steph drank beer after she won, and kanoa did not really speaks volumes…

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago

Reformed alcoholic?

Tomas' silky smooth arms
Tomas' silky smooth arms
7 years ago

He needs to own it and surf in drag. Would watch.

samwaters
samwaters
7 years ago

Hey, watched a short snippet vid. of the contest win–so cute (for lack of a better word), to see guys litterally jumping up and down on the beach……..What has the Wsl wrought?……..

samwaters
samwaters
7 years ago

Can someone tell me who does the commentary on the rides. Never heard someone try so hard to try and make something sound exciting. Think he might be headed for an early heart attack or nervous break down……

Toin coss
Toin coss
7 years ago

He’s finding his identity in front of the surf world. I like that he’s letting loose, especially in light of how scripted he generally appears. He’s upsetting the sensibilities of many old curmudgeonly kooks like me, but here we are talking about it. PS, he fuckin’ rips and didn’t get raddled by Slater, Flores, et al. I still won’t watch his heats though.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
7 years ago
Reply to  Toin coss

I had $20 on him at 36/1 for Bali
He’s at 18/1 going into Margarets . .

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago
Reply to  Toin coss

Get ‘im on ATS with a few beers in’im and see what comes out.

Neal Kearney
Neal Kearney
7 years ago

Mumble Rap

Shampoo Poo
Shampoo Poo
7 years ago

Super stoked for Kanoa.

CA’s first WCT win in 10 years that went unnoticed by the perils of “surf media.”

Gag me with a spoon.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago
Reply to  Shampoo Poo

You must be mistaken , Japan wins first CT event ? Obviously it must be hard to keep up with California passing from The Indians to the Mexicans to the Americans and now the Japanese ?

Numbnuts
Numbnuts
7 years ago

Japan’s loss is America’s gain

Shampoo Poo
Shampoo Poo
7 years ago

I don’t remember reading about India taking over CA but do remember the others, including the Spanish.

Paulo De Tarso Duarte
Paulo De Tarso Duarte
7 years ago

Quinoa… The WSL metrosexual surfer!
I only wish one thing for Kai Noah:
That him produce sounds in every maneuver, and release little screams!

https://youtu.be/avjm9fRaSnQ

mine.mine.mine
mine.mine.mine
7 years ago

Like Monica seles?

Paulo De Tarso Duarte
Paulo De Tarso Duarte
7 years ago
Reply to  mine.mine.mine

Monica and… Sharapova… but Sharapova it’s like… sex!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago

Bit ruff on the young bloke

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
7 years ago

I’m serious! He should take it up a notch especially if “the haters” drive him.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
7 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Agreed

Frontwards Fin Frank
Frontwards Fin Frank
7 years ago

Ruff on the young bloke but one self deports from the safe space when one starts winning events.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
7 years ago

Kanoa’s sqealing
Is far preferable to
Kanoa’s surfing

mine.mine.mine
mine.mine.mine
7 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

Ooo

Firelipe Torpedo
Firelipe Torpedo
7 years ago

Couple more paragraphs for Pitching Lips and Sucking Dicks. Your almost there Chas keep writing

Doobalachy
Doobalachy
7 years ago

The girl running into the wall was hilarious

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago

I ain’t seen the tribulations. Can anyone post a small vid?

Shirley, someone could set the little cut to music?

‘Cut’
I said ‘cut’ quite clearly.

Dumb Florida Redneck
Dumb Florida Redneck
7 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Don’t call me shirley.

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago

My apologies, Ethel.

Edit: Speaking of which: where does THAT creature fall on the LGBTQAPGR spectrum?
Mythological half-fish / half man (merman) called Ethel.
???

I think there are some fish which can change sex, so perhaps it was in transition.

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom
grumpy local
grumpy local
7 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Ululations? Me neither. Must see!


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