I just witnessed the surfing version of Lysistrata and it was amazing!
2019 (ish) has been a good year for women’s surfing. The WSL standardized prize money for equality. Keala Kennelly got a good case of Athletes Mouth and then mobilized a team of minions to go after any naysayers who called her on her mistake in the name of social justice. Caroline Marks became the youngest surfer to ever qualify for the world tour. Bethany Hamilton did better air reverses in a single session BSR as a thirty-something mother of two with one arm than most of our male readership have done in their life, myself included.
Women’s surfing is amazing.
I was able to witness this level of empowerment with my own two eyes last Sunday evening at Uppers. A crowd of women, ages ranging from 20ish-40ish, descended onto the already crowded golden-hour uppers with mid-lengths and longboards and proceeded to trample the ego and bravado of about thirty puffy-chested men who, until that point, had thought they ruled the peak.
Like a majestic pride of hunting lionesses, I watched these women overtake the point. They blocked for one another, sat deeper, faded more gracefully, and did more critical maneuvers than the men on their long and alternate craft. The level of surfing by these ladies on atypical Uppers equipment in the chest high/onshore conditions far surpassed what I had seen while in the lineup from my like-gendered brethren. The crowd of men did not know how to respond or counteract the female dominance in the line-up and eventually, one-by-one men began to paddle in.
I just witnessed the surfing version of Lysistrata and it was amazing.
Even so, I see a lot of vitriol in the comment sections on many a surf Instagram page throwing shade on women’s surfing. I wonder, however, if those men throwing the proverbial shade are doing so from a metaphorical umbrella of their own. Why are you mad at women’s surfing? Because they surf better than you? You can’t back paddle a girl? They didn’t throw three thousand boring ass air-reverses in a single heat? Probably and you should probably shut up about it.
No matter how many times we call a hack a “man turn” it will always be an inherently feminine dance we do on the water. I will argue that for the perpetual intermediate male- surfings everyman, that the Women’s CT is FAR more relatable and aspirational from a day-to-day surfing perspective than the Men’s CT. I can learn far more that I can apply to my own surfing by watching Steph do a steezy wrap than by watching John do an explosive ally-oop (especially considering that despite my best efforts, at most, I have never been more than a foot above the lip intentionally and unassisted by a Grinch).
Hate on women’s surfing all you want, it still won’t discount the fact that: Steph’s Keramas 10 could have won a Men’s final, Caroline Marks at 17 will surf circles around you if given the opportunity, Alana Blanchard earns more than her baby-daddy Jack Freestone, the Women’s tour is dramatic with last-minute lead changes and friendly rivalries than the Men’s CT, and Maya Gabiera and Paige Alms have more metaphorical balls in big waves than you do actual balls in your shorts.
People say the future is female but it’s pretty evident that women’s surfing is at its historical peak right today and we should all stop and enjoy the show.
Also, as a side note, I would like to formally apologize to my wife who has been on the receiving end of far too many “you go girls” and “Yassss Queens” than was necessary since I witnessed the female storming of Uppers.
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Tatiana has a weird style, no way can she do a Man Turn.
Sounds filthy, sign me up!
I guess I like to talk shit about surfers, and most surfers are guys, so it didn’t bother me. I assume we all operate under the assumption that 99%+ of surfers are good-great persons. However, I’ve surfed at Lowers and Swamis, and it’s hard not to think: “what a bunch of aggressive dummies.” Haha. But when I think about those sessions, it was only one or two bad actors; everyone else was nice and followed the rules. So, I guess I’m proving your point that most men are good, and it’s bad to generalize using a few bad actors as the standard. I guess we should focus on the our common enemy: all VALs.
I remember I used to have a friend that would always say “let me ask the boss” before we’d do anything. Slippery slope.
I’ve seen movies where women(?) do that too
They almost want you to burn em
I think I kinda get what you’re trying to say, and I think as a society, we’re gonna have to somehow set healthy guidelines for internet usage, ie, some of the greatest minds in America are working nonstop to get and keep us addicted to the internet, and it seems to be working. And yes, the culture of gripe, complain, hate is running rampant right now, but that’s another story. I’m not complaining! I promise, haha.
RIP
Women in thongs on surfboards is worth all this fem bs.
They are trying to put an end to this joyous miracle of women surfing in thongs. Let us unite behind the Coffey sisters and let them lead us into battle to fight for the rights of women to wear thongs in the surf!
Charge!!!!!
Undoubtedly both, sir.
You haven’t met my sister-in-law…
Go knit yourself a pussy hat.
You go girl. Wank on
Say what you will in terms of competitive versions of male and female surfing – which are both pretty much as artificial as they can be and don’t mean much to 99% of most surfers. What IS important is that its pretty much a fact that few of us have ever seen women engage in the grumpy, selfish, and entirely embarrassing version of surfing that so many men – especially at places like Trestles – exhibit more often than not. So in the end, which version of surfing is closest to aloha – the fundamental guiding principle of what surfing is supposed to be?
Idk, I get burned by women just as often, if not more so, than men, so I don’t think this whole theory really works. Wish it did! But, nah.
It’s difficult to generalize about surfers. Every spot and session are different. Especially hard to generalize about women surfers because they’re so few compared to men.
word
It’s all about water temperature. Sit in the water in Victoria when it’s cold and the sky is grey and it’s pissing with rain and you will be in a grumpy mood. Surf the same wave in waikiki when it’s warm water and sunny and there are foxy girls wearing bikinis paddle by and you’re likely to be feeling a lot happier.
Surfing is one of the very few pastimes where there is no umpire or referee to enforce the rules and only a limited supply of the “product”. Even rock climbing or skiing has an almost infinite supply of real estate where you can do your thing without being bothered.
The closest thing to surfing in terms of supply and demand is queuing for a beer at the pub. If you are good looking or tall or famous you’ll get beers regularly. If you are not, well sucks to be you mate.
equal prize money for unequal risk at the margaret river event….jaddy’s ass deserves at least a few bucks extra for surfing the box
we need to hear from Laird on this.. Were any women on the rags during the MR pro?
Always good to hear about fuckwit long boarders getting a dose of their own
Just wondering how does Alana make money now that she’s come back to the pack.
We all know how Alana makes money 😎
SUCCESS! The tongue in cheek I intended!
Sorry Chin, but this really seems like a flimsy attempt at some type of social justice posturing. This is the only site that has a women’s comp breakdown, written by a woman, that has hundreds of comments analyzing and appreciating the surfing and coverage. I’m glad you were able to discover surfing so late in life, I hope it gives you what you are looking for.
Hi, thank you! Also, I’m sorry I deserted y’all for Margarets, back in time for Brazil 🙂
Yay! Jens Brazil contest updates. I didn’t realize until now that you didn’t do a Margrets write up. I was pretty busy though, and then out of cell service for a number of days.
PS, lets hear you answer some more of those questions in your advice column. (At least some of the better questions.) Otherwise its like a dysfunctional Dear Abbey, where Abbey doesn’t bother to write back to the people that need her most in their darkest hours.
Oh, there will be a whole column of answers! It’ll run Monday or Tuesday. 🙂
Thanks Jen, I’m sure we will all get a kick out of it. It could be one of Beach Grits most popular features in the future.
But just be warned, since you seem like a nice girl, there’s a lot of real sickos out there!
I didn’t take the article as saying that the BG commentators are somehow against women surfing or something like that. I saw it simply as an observation of aggressive lady surfers taking over lowers, and then a discussion about some of the bad ass professional female surfers, which I think we can agree is an undeniable fact. Anyway, I didn’t feel he was putting men surfers down or challenging BGritters views on women surfing. I dont understand why so some are viewing this article as a “diss.”
Did animalchin start surfing late in life? Or is that an insult? (obviously I don’t catch subtlety).
Yeah, you could be right. Maybe I’m just doing a little social justice posturing of my own! Cheers shoots
The internet is really messing with our points of view on things; at least that’s what I’ve heard on the internet, haha. I guess I’m being lazy, in that I just didn’t want to read the article again to try and figure out why some took it negatively. Anyway, thanks for not responding with a mean comment. Aloha!
I don’t think I’ve ever seen any commentator “mad at women’s surfing” on BeachGrit. Pick your audience mate.
I am mad at all surfing. Ergo I am mad at Women’s surfing.
Check mate.
I’m just mad. Full stop.
Longtom reckons the girls go good
incorrect!
You sly dog bexy. Very entertaining.
bexy, I’m going to kick you in the nuts.
Thats a bit harsh