How to Learn How to Surf!
I don’t think that VALs are Enemies of the People, per se, but usually the VAL lack of self-awareness makes for rough exchanges in the water and/or on land. Lack of self-awareness is a nasty bit of business wherever it’s found. I was standing in a crosswalk a few days ago, for example, with the crosswalk light blinking, waiting to guide my daughter across when a car blazed right through. Of course I kicked his door as hard as I could sending him to a screeching stop. He stuck his blubbery head out the window, shouting “Do you have a problem?” I shouted back many swears that HE broke cherished crosswalk RULES at which point he angrily squealed away.
The man in the car was not necessarily a VAL but his attitude was metaphorical. VALs heedlessly break our cherished rules then don’t care. They don’t know not to care and don’t care to learn etc.
Which is what makes contemporary artist Tom Sachs’ movie How to Learn How to Surf so pleasant. It is not a movie about how to learn to surf or how to surf but how to learn how to surf.
Very self aware.
Enjoy.
What does the V stand for again?
Vagina adult learners?
Wish ” i ” was doing it for the likes..
I wish Willie Morris was still alive – he’d set you straight on Vals.
at first glance I thought it was a one minute video on how to surf and was shocked that I had wasted countless hours and endured all manner unnecessary burns, bites, rashes, flushing, brain freezes, stitches, sea ulcers and the involuntary discharge of water from my nose when ever I was trying get smelly fingers. thank fuck it is only the trailer. for second there I thought I had wasted half my life.
Can anyone name anything music related or non that is as bad as Lenny Kravitz?
His daughter and that michelob ad?
Wait a minute…that is his daughter? The one with the contrived hipster finger tatts that look like dirt while she’s tapping on the bottle and whispering some garbage about nothing? Every time that thing comes on I hit mute and turn away out of fear I’ll put my fist thru screen. That is the worst thing ever created and now makes total sense it involves the Kravitz name…
God it’s the fucking worst right?! Yeah word has it it’s her although I haven’t fact checked that since it makes my hatred that much better even thinking she’s a kravitz.
All of the WSL spots are bad. I used to think the old Corona one was the worst but dirty finger Kravitz daughter is by far the most egregious and hate worthy.
milli vanilli?
Good try but nowhere near as bad. They’re low hanging fruit w the whole lip synch thing and they were quickly written off. They’re like Insane Clown Posse or something…a caricature impossible to take seriously. Kravitz fancies himself a soulful guy and takes himself seriously when in reality his music is the most manufactured soulless bland garbage ever made. He is the worst musician in the history of music. This is a fact that cannot be refuted.
Off subject Chas – recently listened to your Lipped podcast interview – dang it was good!
Fuck these cunts
Haha VALS
HAHAHAHA
Its as funny as an episode of big bang theory
Give it up champ.
Does Val Kilmer fancy taking up the sport? A match made in heaven.
I disagree, VALS are the enemy. Perhaps the worst we have ever faced, and that includes SUPs, foils, kayaks, goat boats, bodyboards, entitled groms, and lifeguards.
just because of their shear numbers?
Yes you can’t get them out of the water- when you run over them they deform but are relatively elastic so quickly return back to original shape. Their Wavestorms too.
I want to know the number of pedestrians killed yearly due to the “pedestrians have the right of way” rule. I routinely see people cross the street without looking because they expect cars to stop.
Lifetime odds of death in United States for a Pedestrian Incidentis 1 in 556. Gun Assaultis 1 in 285 and drowning 1 in 1,117.
Will this overpopulation lead to a mass extinction one day? If I find a colony of VALs washed up on the high tide mark, should I bury them? Or will that attract sharks later?
If I were you Matt I would take a lesson from the Nights Watch and Burn them , in the case they are reawakening and turn into white (nose) walkers ……
Just don’t feed them, they will lose their natural inborn fear of other people in the water.
its best to leave them there. it scares the others away.
https://youtu.be/oc9zkspdJXc
Oh yes. Oh oh yes.
It’s like Laserium at Griffith Observatory, but pedestrian.
Wow, that’s insane.
I’d kick your fucken head in if you kicked my car door. I reckon you’re one of those absolute cunts who presses the button when there are no cars coming and then crosses. Wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve sat at the red light head butting the steering wheel over those gimp cunts.
I don’t want to add up the time spent sitting at a red light that doesn’t need to be red in my life
That’ll do any man mad. I made it my mission to speed through those pointless reds and then I did it right in front of a cop who laughed at my stupidity but still wrote me a ticket.
Interesting how one behaves when the shoe is on the other foot. What if it had been your car door? Think of the panel beater. For fuck sake why will nobody think of the panel beater?
Fucken panel beaters ! Those robbing cunts are worse than plumbers.
Since when is $799 an unreasonable price for spending 30 seconds tapping a little dent out of low tensile Indian made steel with a rubber mallet? You drongo. Shouldn’t have stacked your car then should ya!? Hahahaha
THEY USE MAGNETS BRO
Fuck me. Maybe the dint doctor isn’t as qualified as I had assumed. He didn’t have any magnets.
Bout time to have a word mate
That’s classic arse covering mate.No recourse, he was fixing a dint, not a dent.
I keep the panel beater in business!
One of the glorious things about living in the Police state of NSW is that you could turn left on a red light. These are now being phased out and it annoys the hell out of me. I can only imagine what WPD is feeling about this.
Between this and keeping the right hand turn arrow red (instead of switching off after an appropriate time) they’ve completely killed most intersections. Fuck da police!
Wow, you all drive on the wrong side of the road AND now I learn that you allow left turns on a red light – do you even need to make a stop first? Oh the humanity. I suppose you think that just because you paddled first / stood up first it’s your wave?
Oh it’d be such a wonderful exchange and would keep the citizens tittering for weeks!
what are your thoughts about pedestrian crossings at round abouts ? especially those with bus stops beside them.
Crosswalk guy – that really frosts me. Now I hate VALS even more.