"I felt like a train hit me..."
What is the weirdest board you have ever surfed? A smooshy little fish? A long n lean gun? A Tomo, asym, swallow? Well, a chiropractor from Florida has you beat, surfing a shark for a few exciting moments, and let us learn, together, about Donald Walsh and his New Smyrna adventure.
Donald Walsh, a chiropractor, was surfing when he went airborne and crash-landed on the shark, as The Daytona Beach News-Journal reported.
“It felt like a freight train hit me and the first thing I could think of was to literally push him away from me and as soon as it happened, I grabbed my board and started to paddle as fast as I could,” Walsh told Click Orlando.
Walsh was making his way back to shore after he had been surfing for several hours and attempted to “go airborne,” something he doesn’t typically do, when he landed on the shark. Walsh tried to flee, and the shark bit him once, resulting in lacerations on his arm and his calf.
“I never did see the shark as I was coming down,” Walsh told the News-Journal. “I did see it after the bite happened.”
The story goes on and includes a happy ending, Mr. Walsh will return to the lineup as soon as his wounds “close up” but I think serious concerns are raised here.
First, what is Aaron Cormican doing today? He put New Smyrna on the map, for me, and when I visited there as part of my Florida Surf Film Festival vacation, I felt star-struck just being in his same town.
Second, does attempting an air and potentially landing on a shark give you pause? The last time I attempted an air my board flipped upside down and I almost landed on my fins, which would have hurt. I assume, from the beach, it looked like I was trying to do a kickflip, which would have made me Zoltan Torkos, which would have also hurt.
Third, why are sharks such buttholes? If Mr. Walsh did an air and landed on a person and that person bit his arm and calf then he or she would certainly be facing assault charges. Should we hold sharks to a higher standard?
Fourth, seriously, what is the weirdest board you have ever surfed?
Yeah, it does roll off the tongue nicely.
I couldn’t even sand it. I gave up and just waxed it and started riding it hoping being out in the sun would help somehow. It would have given curren’s skimboard a run for money in the ugliest board contest.
Disqus ditched us …..
They stole our Steez
And then offered us Cheez
Did the shark eat all last night’s comments on this thread ? KVF and Otto were in good form ….
Given the opening and closing lines of this piece, I’m surprised that this article is not littered with Paul Fisher dick pics.
Just a little south in Coco Beach Kelly Slater’s brother makes boards that are shaped like a beer can or long neck bottle. He has even made some that were car shaped for the Volcom NASCAR contest. That cock and balls board a few years ago was pretty cool too.
The weirdest board I have ever surfed is a self shaped version or the Stoker V machine. Tons of V in the tail and when I was glassing it in the front yard all of these bugs were landing on it including a butterfly which ended up being glassed into the board.
Haha, not as bad as me. When I was fifteen I shaped my own board and didn’t mix enough catalyst into the resin and it was sticky for months. It rode pretty good though considering.
From what I remember you are in central Florida? Good luck with that hurricane.
Gotta say that is a pretty cool thing with the butterfly being glassed in the board by accident. Also here in central florida. This hurricane is going to suck cock and ball boards. Hoping for a clean up surf after it goes by.
“Fourth, seriously, what is the weirdest board you have ever surfed?”
The BG comments board.
(Bah-dum-TISH!!!)
I almost surfed a Jeep once.
when a gorken flip goes awry? Felipe takes the yellow jersey from solid Chopes and this cat is wrangling sharks. what’s the world coming to. I think I will have a little lie down.
Anyway…. I’m going for Gabby this year. Fuck the Aussies. He’s got the best underdog story. Real dad flicked out when mum got fat. Step-dad got into his PJ’s most nights while mum watched soapies. He’s got a speech impediment and unorthodox style. He loves a bit of booger sugar. He looks after his sister. No one likes him but I’m telling ya mate he’s the man.
Lesson being
Don’t spoil your kids
Maybe just install a teddy camera
Yeah nah.
Zoltan Torkos hahahahahah “would you rather…. sodomy by fin (FCS or futures?) Or identity theft by Torkos?”
9’8″ hot curl C – wing…. made me reconsider how water runs off the bottom of a board in the pocket. “Be a passenger” is the motto, but I missed contemporary turns pretty quick
I had the best idea I have ever had but forgot it ……Now the soma has kicked in …..
If the shark can do a Gorkan Flip it will win A box of House Wine Cheez it Box …. will hopefully taste better than Chiropractor and a weekend with the Anti Satan League At Kill Devil Hills …. and eggs made from plants ….. but not Uma Thurman and Michael Dunphy’s Organ Grinder .
“I do aerials on the shark.”
Dude is watching the WSL Jeep commercial a little too much…
To go from that to the announcing team, and then back to the commercial, all contest long, all year long. We are suckers for punishment.
Finally a chiropractor that didn’t demand to be called “Dr.”.
Second, my airs are just errs in a Halloween costume. Both scary and funny.
Third, holding sharks to a higher standard is like holding Stab to journalistic standards. Good luck with that.
Fourth, I bring the weirdness to any board I ride. Both a curse and a joy.