Innovative: Cape Cod residents propose clubbing baby seals in order to chase away “man-eating” Great White sharks!

Is the enterprising surfer looking at the wrong enemy?

I trust that you have been following along, closely, with this wild summer of Great White sharks. Oh they’re everywhere in America. They’re shutting down beaches in my once-Arcadian North County, San Diego. They’re bumping fishing boats, feeding on whales and speaking an unflattering dialect of English off Massachusetts’ Cape Cod.

Worse, though, they’re chasing off tourists from that area depending on the influx of those seasonal dollars. My once-utopian North County, San Diego is fine. It never gets cold here but Cape Cod? Oooee! Summer is its only habitable season.

And what to do? How to possibly solve this pointy-toothed, rolled-back-eye’d man-eating problem?

Well, some Cape Cod businessmen and longtime locals are blaming seals, Great White sharks’ favorite snack after surfers. According to the august Yahoo! News:

Gray seal populations in New England were nearly eliminated by hunting through most of the 20th century, but federal protections passed in 1972 have allowed their numbers to proliferate. Today there are an estimated 50,000 seals around Cape Cod.

One proposed solution is killing seals to control their population. The practice, known as culling, is a relatively common tactic that has been used to manage species like birds, rodents and even kangaroos.

Proponents of seal culling say it is the most effective and efficient way to reduce the number of sharks in Cape Cod’s waters. Businesses that rely on tourism are suffering because the attacks are scaring off summer visitors, they argue. Others say the seals have become so numerous that they’re creating problems beyond just attracting sharks, such as stealing fish from fishermen and creating an unpleasant odor on beaches.

Has there been any backlash to this innovative plan? Surprisingly, yes, and from environmentalists, no less, who claim the number of human fatalities is still minimal compared to the absolute carnage a bacchanal of baby seal clubbing would cause. The “proposed solution” anyhow, as Yahoo! News points out, is moot seeing as gray seals are still a protected species in Mass.

But a boy with a club can still dream, can’t he?

Also, dear Australian friends, is there backlash in the Lucky Country to the clubbing of baby kangaroos?

More as the innovation develops.

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Jacob L C Erasmus
Jacob L C Erasmus
7 years ago

Maby cull some business people?

James Hutchinson
James Hutchinson
7 years ago

Linda would lick anything, the Fellatio Queen even satisfied German Shepherds, I’m sure she would be proud that you followed in her footsteps, perhaps being even better than she could ever dream of.

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago

Precisamundo.
(That’s the word ‘precisely’ in Spanish)

He’s got a cousin in France called L’eauHomme.

James Hutchinson
James Hutchinson
7 years ago

After viewing your mumsy,Linda Lovelace, perfecting her craft, I knew my rod needed throat, never have found one as exquisite as your mumsies so the quest continues, I figured with you , the apple didn’t fall far from the tree and you dutifully continue mumsies legacy, you obviously know the effectiveness of Ricola.

Julia McDonald-Carberry
Julia McDonald-Carberry
7 years ago

Never heard of it

Julia McDonald-Carberry
Julia McDonald-Carberry
7 years ago

Disgusting

Julia McDonald-Carberry
Julia McDonald-Carberry
7 years ago

Sheila’s right. You’re showing your lack of intelligence & maturity. You’re annoying to everyone. You should just shut up! No one wants to hear from you anyway. If you can’t speak constructively regarding the subject, please refrain from speaking at all. The subject we’re discussing is of real importance to us & merits serious debate. People do not think your comments are useful. Rather, they’re a waste of everyone’s time & meant to antagonize people sensitive to such a grotesque & gruesome suggestion as clubbing baby seals to death. You may be sociopathic lacking in empathy for the feelings of other living beings but we are not & find your comments offensive, which has certainly been your goal. A suggestion, if you will, find some other discussion into which you can insinuate yourself. Surely there are many more discussions suited to an individual like you & people who will be more appreciative of your dark humor & cruel attitude.

Julia McDonald-Carberry
Julia McDonald-Carberry
7 years ago

I’m not Sheila but I find your descriptions scintillating & a little sexy. Very interesting. Do you have one single eyebrow & a heavy brow ridge, as well with short, heavy, very muscular & hairy arms & legs with thick hands sporting fingers like hairy sausages? Also, do you wear your hair short in front & long down your back? Any chance you also have large lips with large teeth spaced far apart? Do you also have a heavy, dark beard? Oh I hope so. I hope my description of your features is fairly accurate. The perfect man! Oooooo! So exciting! Love to come over for a cookout so I can enjoy some of your exotic recipes.

Julia McDonald-Carberry
Julia McDonald-Carberry
7 years ago

Absolutely! Crazy King George might decide we need a seawall around the entire country! We definitely don’t want to give him any new ideas. Also he likes watching Ocean Ramsey swim with GW’s. That’s what he was doing in the middle of the night, while he was the president elect waiting to be inaugurated. See his comments on YouTube, along with those of the rest of the regular guys watching her in a bikini swimming with a Great White shark instead of utilizing his time learning anything about what it takes & how to run our country. Guess he already thought he had it down & the job would be a walk in the park for him.

Julia McDonald-Carberry
Julia McDonald-Carberry
7 years ago

Absolutely!!! They could be hunted down by the Japanese for research & then to make steaks, whale fin soup, corsets, etc… & Japanese bubble gum with the remains of the whales’ bodies.
Capitol idea!

Julia McDonald-Carberry
Julia McDonald-Carberry
7 years ago

Right. I forgot about him. Thanks for the reminder. Need to catch up on my research for sure. 🙂

Fact Or Fiction
Fact Or Fiction
7 years ago

There is a food chain. We are below our trusted government. So i guess in the end we all become someones dinner

Victoria Campbell
Victoria Campbell
7 years ago

When people do stupid stuff they understand a large fine 10000 for every seal pup killed plus one year in jail for everyone that’s killed it will stop

TDC553
TDC553
7 years ago

Club the Cape Cod residents. Then they wont need to depend on tourist dollars. Problem solved.

Sheila Montgomery
Sheila Montgomery
7 years ago

Your replies are stupid and I don’t deal with stupidity

Julia McDonald-Carberry
Julia McDonald-Carberry
7 years ago

Impressive Sheila

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago

“Your replies are stupid and I don’t deal with stupidity”
Hey!!! Welcome to BG!!!

channelbottom
channelbottom
7 years ago

No: Aguaman!

Odysseus et al
Odysseus et al
7 years ago

What we need is guns. Surely there’s a way to arm surfers, then if they feel threatened they can shoot. Threatened by sharks that is

Shawn Weston
Shawn Weston
7 years ago

Think sharks prefer baby seals as there is less chance of it getting injured around the nose and eye area.easier prey too as they are less experienced in the area of survival/escape methods.
Definitely feel better if there food source around area is plentiful.safety in numbers.

Tye HIlly
Tye HIlly
7 years ago

As an Ozzy Ive never heard of clubbing baby roos. If I hit a kangaroo with the car and it had a wee baby in the pouch I’d probably take it home and raise it as a pet. Once it’s old enough I’d use it to ride around town , safer then a Lime scooter but very hard to drink a beer while riding roos soooo much spillage n chipped teeth.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
7 years ago

The rejects kept the flow of DNA running along to us .
We are possibly more Sons of Rejects than sons of anarchy ?


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