Numbers through the roof!
Do the unintended consequences of new technologies keep you awake at night? Oh how many movies have we watched where a good-hearted inventor creates something for the sake of humanity only to have his creation spin beyond control hurting, killing, causing madness? My favorite in the genre has to be Harrison Ford’s The Mosquito Coast where he builds an ice machine for beautiful savages only to rip their culture, and his family apart.
My second favorite, though, is Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch where the invention of wave-producing tanks leads to a massive “surf participation” boom culminating in worldwide “gang” fight where ocean surfers and pool surfers attempt to drown each other into submission.
Well, us ocean surfers will be far outnumbered during those dystopian days as a new article in Forbes magazine reveals that “surf participation” is up in the United Kingdom a whopping 40% all thanks to artificial technologies and let’s dig in with our Sunday blueberry pancakes (bitter Monday cup of coffee for our Australian friends and delicious pint of ale for our brand-new English, Welsh, Irish and Scottish friends. Welcome!)
While hardcore surfers might lament a wave-on-demand culture, the reasons for the increase in “wave pool surfing” are simple. In the U.K. surfing is one of the fastest growing sports, with a 40% increase in participation between 2015 and 2017, according to the latest British Marine Association Annual Watersports Participation Survey.
There are now over 1 million surfers in the U.K., “but the coastline isn’t producing any more waves than it did before,” says Stoddart. Nor do most people live anywhere near decent surfing beaches.
But with world surf champion Kelly Slater putting his own name behind an artificial wave, with the Kelly Slater Wave Company, the concept has gained accreditation. Slater called his wave, “a complement or supplement to what surfing is,” and it now hosts World Surfing League (WSL) competitions.
All fine and wonderful and I don’t really think there will be worldwide “gang” fight in the near future pitting ocean surfers against pool surfers. I think we’ll all get along just fine, as long as these pool surfers don’t come near the ocean. My real question is, what happens when what Slater called, “a complement or supplement to what surfing is” eclipses what surfing is?
The day is coming.
Also, is the World Surf League too busy mocking Mavericks every year to actually build another pool besides Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch in Lemoore or is there a cagy strategy behind being dead last in the wave tank arms race?
If surfers stopped trying to be ‘cool’ and just acted super nerdy no one else would want to be surfers. Next time you see a surfer acting or dressing ‘cool’ or ‘trendy’ tell them to sort their act out.
Rich people not making there money so they want to remove the problem what a horrible world we live in when money is more important than life
I feel like relocation has not even been mentioned. If you need to control the environment, then there are plenty of other places that the seals can go or be relocated to that would be less populated and less touristy. I love that the first proposal is to kill. Shakes my head.
I usually use this forum to expose Rob amd Kelly for being huge liars with enormous sexual appetites. However, I wll take a Stab on this topic. Ever notice that every surf hero from Santa Cruz is either overdosed, drowned, falling off a cliff while on speed, or claiming sobriety while running a rehab? I have. Then I look up Mr. Ziff, whom I never heard of. In a few minutes of research I see the Ziff Family bravely hid Jews from the Nazis in WWII as well as helped them escape. Mr. Ziff was born in 1965. He is a college graduate and an Ivy Leaguer. The man seems pretty straight, I doubt he can so much as roll a joint. Quite frankly, I’d rather him run the show than a bunch of burnt, selfish, perverts who prey on rich girls. I’m for leveling the playing field, not catering to the stars.
There’s only one possible explanation for this: SECRET WAVE POOLS.
Great Britain has a vast network of underground secret wave pools SO EFFICIENT that it has managed to increase the number of surfers in Great Britain from 50 to over one million in a SINGLE YEAR.
See
That’s why you are you
and I’m nobody
Coasteering is pretty much surfing Nick. Stop being coasteephobic.
That’s the thing with pro surfing – too many secrets. Too much behind-the-scenes from behind-the-scenes. It’s to be expected when the “king” is a womanizing pathological liar. BTW Mr. C I might be able to recruit 2 victims of copy-cat rape, one or two of Rob’s old girlfriends, and a victim of Kelly to come forward somehow. All from North County, San Diego. Give me like a year……
When people want to promote things they start magazines and now websites and podcasts etc,so that people hopefully get interested in what they are promoting.
If people want to hide things they don’t start websites about those things.
Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?
How could he blow it that bad? Aren’t they on their best behavior after Warren’s geniology gaffe?
Is there repeat business at a wave pool?
Does anyone say, “that was fun, can’t wait to go again soon!”?
Or is it more like, “that was different, but one and done.”
You’ll wanna go back again and again, refine turns, and take ’em into the ocean.
I did 3 hours non stop running the stairs and coming down the water slide with the 6 year old yesterday who said it was the best day ever . Have Fun . Fuck I am feeling it in the shoulders
easy bro, you gotta a trip on the horizon.
We call your timing “bag of flour” time… meaning no risks before a trip. No skating, no basketball, pretty much just surfing and then no close out reo’s or floaters.
Great Advice ….. will continuing running , stretching and playing with the kids …
ha.. i went for a skate years ago, three days before a trip, fell like a wanker and fucked my shoulder.. never again.. as a matter of fact, no more skating for me. too old to heal fast enough for the next trip
Hong Kong, 1972.
Family Hippy had just been to Phillip Island to visit the Melbourne family at their beach house. I surfed my brains out. Tahiti was the first stop on our round the world tour and I surfed, but not that great in shallow reef I wasn’t ready for at 11. I was so happy until we touched down in Kowloon.
Of course we had to stay at an expensive Hotel and the Mandarin checked that box. Trouble is, the five star pretentious joint had no pool. My sister and I watched helplessly at the Hyatt rooftop pool across the street in envy.
Hong Kong was like NY only blazing humid, people were like ants mingling from our view above in the tower.
Grandma met some wealthy people at the bar, the reason she traveled I guess. She told them that us kids were unhappy after Oz, was there a beach with waves she could take us? We were invited to the ultra Luxury private club to swim while the adults drank themselves silly. Nancy and I were thrilled to see the beach.
We got to the club, ornate as all fuck, but we were used to that so only noticed because our parents were so enamored. The man who invited us took us to a cabana to change into our “bathing wear” and we were set, time to swim!
A chaperone led us from the cabana to the pool area. The pool was the size of an olympic pool, massive body of water, but with one anomaly to what we were used to. There had to have been a thousand humans in the waist deep urinal the pool had become. Everyone was drinking, there was NO SWIMMING going on. Even as a young kid I was disgusted.
Nancy and I walked back to the cabana deflated until I saw a glimpse of the ocean through a bar window…. LOOK!
We ran to the edge of the cliff and it had a goat trail leading down to the rocky waters. We found a small dive spot and spent hours diving in the crystal water despite no waves you could literally catch fish with your hands. It was like diving into an aquarium.
What we did not know was there was a major search happening for us up on the cliff. Had we forgotten to tell our folks about our destination? Seemed so.
Apparently, my Mom asked someone if there was a walkway down to the beach… he said no. She combed the cliff looking for us while my Dad played tennis oblivious to our escape.
We climbed the cliff back up, which wasn’t as easy as going down, and were descended upon by club security…. we had broken all the club rules.
We were then locked into our hotel room for the rest of the Hong Kong leg of the trip. Great Grandma fed us M&M’s and peanut butter crackers under duress, she didn’t want to be caught.
Our next stop was Jerusalem via Tehran. We arrived at the Israeli airport and were escorted off the plane one by one to full strip search inspection. The Lod Massacre had been executed two days before, the airport was riddled with bullet holes and blood drying on the walls and tile floors.
The next year, I asked Grandma if we could visit the Melbourne family as the last stop on that years tour.
Sorry, point of story is, the pool looked more busy than the photo accompanying Chas’ story.
Caddy Shack Pool was possibly busier ?
Personal space is a luxury not all are accustomed to it seems.
I’ve surfed Hong Kong.island
Big wave Bay on the other side of the city..
Sounds like holidays with the Royal Tenenbaums
I’m certainly not brave enough to call him a liar. Are you?
Upvote for butthole!
They had cool hats in the 90s . How goes the Labour Day Holiday and what NFL team should I support ?
Labor day is like all holidays, hide or run away from the beach. The display of american hubris and all the plastic goods it takes for families to enjoy the coast is obscene.
As for football, the Bears will win the Super Bowl this year so that I can die a happy hippy.
Chicago … born in Chicago ?
Yup. Moved to LA before that first snow, never seen it fall.
PATS baby!!
https://youtu.be/iI9D4q8pLuw
I am much more annoyed by other musical groups and genres. Big fan of the Butthole Surfers since I first heard The Shah Sleeps in Lee Harvey’s Grave listening to JJJ as a teenager
https://youtu.be/ulbw_gv_LPk
If surfing is one of the fastest growing sports in the UK, what other sports is surfing competing against?
When will a surf tank allow recreational marijuana smoking for that authentic surf experience? It would certainly boost concession #’s too.
Weed Pool Maps Apps…… ?
To cool for the wave pool ? Come smoke along , like Cheech and Chong at the Billabong ….Ever wonder why the swagman was Jolly ?
I heard Mike Tyson say they are building a wave pool at his weed ranch. No idea if it’s like the one above, or if it has any kind of surf able waves.
Hanging out at a wave pool smoking weed with Mike Tyson sounds like a great day. Sign me up.
He’s big on taking the toad. His podcast is pretty good.
But there are only two public surf tanks open in the world over the period you are whinging about: Waco and Snowdonia. Attributing 40% growth in surfing in the UK to one tank and then the Maldives been overrun by VALs to these two facilities is a bit of a stretch (but a classic entertaining Sunday morning blog drop). How about every surf brand, WSL, Surf media etc all selling the dream to those poor blokes in the UK that are desperate for a warm bright future. Follow the Money! Tanks are coming in fast though and we can be glad to have all these VAL petting zoo’s open as their safe place to play around their once a year trip to the beach.
10+4=14
Hoppy, your full of shit. But I agree with your outlook and maldives, jive. I, as a culterural based surf board designer autroprenuer have dreamt of a fun rippable pay per wave for decades now. And to see my dreams realized gives the new meaning to wood. But I evolved from slowers well before pro flapzilions set foot their. So I have had my fair share of 1 wave pet set, hoggliness..
More pools please. I will give surf technique that young scrubs can only drool over. Fyi, on my single fin.
Excellent post Chas, thought provoking and funny…. you’re on fire this morning.
Tell you what, I was in Maldives this June and the place I went to surf was over run with Euro VAL’s…. I soloed the right point 5 years ago preparing for a boat trip, 5 days of excellent surfing. This year, 8 huge charters parked the entire two weeks in the channel. These boys were fit and aggressive, though none could surf, but it didn’t matter with 40 minimum in the lineup and not one had been taught etiquette.
They dislike each other too. The amount of fights, literal, in the lineup reminded me of Silver Strand in 1979…. that’s a cheap and easy analogy because SS did not have that many people in the water at any time. One days anger spilled over into the next day and the vibe was beyond tense considering not one person could be identified as “intermediate”.
If these kids could “train” in a pool with the same disregard for courtesy, the traveling effect would be profound.
I kept thinking…. what kind of fucking shit motherfucking boat charter stays at one point break an entire charter period? Wouldn’t the guest raise hell and demand the captain move to quieter waters?
For those of you with a Maldives dream, it has jumped the shark, RIP. It was so fucking perfect and now it’s a fucking perfect example of what Chas describes above. The pools could become a global plague.
That said, the pools will also be a financial disaster and they will either not proliferate or they will close at rates equal to one another. My favorite part of the quote above… how does Stoddart qualify someone as a “surfer”?
Thanks Hippy… sent book off to publisher on Thursday and my brain feels light and free! But also, imagine if all the wave poolers just stay there. Why would they want to go to a giant tank where the machinery didn’t always work (i.e. the ocean)? Posting up at one point for an entire Maldives boat trip would be the equivalent of turning the ocean into a wave pool, I think.
Is the book still on track for an early 2020 release?
Spring 2020…. assuming that this latest edit ain’t straight gibberish.
Do you create your own deadlines Chas or do you receive a retainer with a completion clause?
Advance split into thirds… signing, delivery of completed manuscript and publication but this particular deadline has to do with the publishing window. Houses plan their releases years out. I already missed deadline and begged for another month which I thankfully hit.
Thanks, do you have an agent too?
Yes! She’s great…
My euro buddy posted up at Pasta Point for a month one time and came back with a passable intermediate surfing style. It did not translate well to 5/4’s and shitty waves, but he met his wife so that was good I guess… this was in like 2001 I think. Sounds like no one here had to read Paul Ehrlich’s venerable warning while in high school. It’s been coming.
A month there in this day and age would cost a small fortune.
I think to take the family there for two weeks would cost more than I needed to spend 6 months in Oz and 6 months in France each year in the 90s …
It’s hard to believe now , that Tony Hussein Hinde , who was shipwrecked there in 1973 , converted to Islam , married a Maldivian Woman , kept it a secret for over 15 years , with the exception of a group of close friends sworn to secrecy and apparently took it to the point we’re he would intentionally surf badly , way below the level of someone surfing near perfect waves alone on a daily basis ,when he visited Bali on regular trips just to throw a hungry surfworld eager to discover new spots off the scent .
James, there are so many good waves down there…. but traveling alone, I had to go to the camp. Last trip, I had been working all over the US and hadn’t paddled. I went to Pasta to train so that when the boys showed up for the flight to the outer atolls, I had my feet under me. Sultans was magic, well overhead and just me, my buddy and a guy named Malcolm from Victoria. I caught so many good waves and was more than ready for the outer atolls.
My opinion, the Spainards were the least behaved of the Euro boats. Israeli’s were a close second, but after 50 young kids enter the lineup, it became hard to differentiate until the kids started throwing punches.
At one point, I dragged a dozen to the upper part of the take off zone. They were honed in on me and my strategy was one I apply at Rincon. Drag the crew up the point, catch anything to change position and sit on the swing wide. Well, they would follow me back only paddling.
Pasta meanwhile, pushes out to sea like Manu bay…. on your backhand, let’s just say I wouldn’t have flown all the way there unless it was to have Sultans empty.
The Chinese are up to evil things, but that’s another story and THEY are the ones approving all the new boat charters. Evil fucking things they are up to. Wish I could type about it more but comments are meant to be brief I’m told.
Hippy , I think you might have taught Medina a thing or two . Free surfing with the added numbers is possibly becoming more competitive than surfing in a heat , with no rules , judges or interference calls and in this case no locals ?
Ruined trip Bicky. Will NEVER return. All to avoid the Ments crowds, too late. I can score empty points in Mexico, why the fuck go all that way.
But the question is, how do the boat captains get away with not cruising everywhere and camping with literally James, 7 other massive boats. YOu know the indo charters we all enjoy with 8 guys? These boats are 3 stories of window with twice that many surfers minimum and white table cloth dining???!!!!????
We staged a mutiny years ago because our Maldivian captain did not know the surf spots…. how in the world did these VAL’s accept parking at one spot?
The VALs possibly don’t know any better and the Charter Boats probably save a shit load of money on Fuel by not cruising around to do different spots ?
Yes this is it. Also the fine print probably tells them that as well.
All charters keep an eye on gas expenditure, but parking in one spot literally 25 minutes from the airport is difficult to digest. Misery loves company.
It they’ve got no idea about surfing than the captains are laughing. “Yep this is the only place getting swell, no point travelling any further”
Horrible to hear though.
Hippy it’s fn crazy. People are fn clueless. I mean I guess those charters might keep other breaks empty. In the water yesterday in CA talking about a point break nearby and telling this Chilean to keep it quiet. He said “yes I would never travel here with more than 3 friends”. I almost punched him
I moved cones out of a parking space that was being used for that throw the bean bag through the hole in the wood panel game. Woman in the RV next spot confronted me, how dare I take up their spot. Well, they had 13 spots already taken. Raider Fan dad tried to pull himself up from his folding chair and finally accomplished that and waddled over to join the narrative. You know the type, tattoos everywhere, obscenely large and holding a bag of fire Cheetos and a Coors at 9AM. The threats began immediately, but I held my phone as if I was filming them… which this hippy is not technological enough to pull off in a panic. BUt he doesn’t know that so I tell him that any law intervention would be a shame because court doesn’t open until tuesday and spending the long weekend in the pokie isn’t his best use of time. He stared at me with vigor. “Really man, you guys aren’t even touching the sand let alone the water, why tail gate in a dirty parking lot if you’re not attending a game?”.
I was very uncomfortable surfing terrible high tide beach break with my car so vulnerable, but he understood the logic in my warning about the police. All too well I assume because they replaced the cones of exclusion as I pulled back out of the parking spot and lit a joint for the drive home.
ha! hippy, i am so happy they are invested in football and futbol and RV’s and nascar and harleys brother, cause otherwise their fat asses might be clogging our spots
Hippy glad it worked out ok….some people out there, those little things can go south fast.
I used to regard visiting your area from here, cito, as a semi-exotic surf trip, crazy waves, heavy locals,cops eyeing my beater VW.
The RV thing ruined emma years ago, and trying to return to SB on a bad traffic day?
Late for work etc. Kinda wish there was surf around here once in awhile. Everywhere there and here still has those moments though, although they seem farther apart than before. I know thats me though.
I’d take that 1 million UK surfers with a choke pinch of Brexiteer-style bullshit flavoured salt.
But then… you already knew that of course.
Most of the ‘Gap Yeah’ hooray Henrys and Harriets ( translation: rich, over-privileged & out of touch-with-reality but on holiday for a year before university) will be claiming (yes) their weeks surf lesson in Byron / Bali as their licence to shred. Fine work if you can get it. Clueless but so loaded you never, ever care.