Innovation: Shark-on-surfer violence
conundrum solved in ecologically delightful way!
By Chas Smith
Hello killer whale friends!
It seems as if every other story here on
BeachGrit over the past five years has been about a shark
attack. Every other other story, of course, is about Jeff
Clark, SUP Foiler/Mavs
legend, and a wonderful reprise from the often sad
reports of missing limbs, lives cut short, etc.
The roiling debates between those who believe that sharks own
the ocean and those who hold that culling is the only way forward
go on and on, neither side making a dent in the other’s
resolve.
And so we’ve reached a dull stalemate. An icy silence with
surfers continuing to get munched and sharks falling into a slight
depression.
Well, last week researchers from California’s famed Monterey Bay
Aquarium solved the problem. Solved how to chase sharks away from
particular beaches without killing them or stringing ecologically
harmful netting to and fro. You must read the report in it
full detail but here is a summary for us to chew on
together. To give us what we need to carry on mostly, but not
completely, ignorant.
New research challenges the notion that great white sharks
are the most formidable predators in the ocean. The research team
documented encounters between white sharks and orcas at Southeast
Farallon Island off California. In every case examined by the
researchers, white sharks fled the island when orcas arrived and
didn’t return there until the following season. Elephant seal
colonies in the Farallones also indirectly benefited from the
interactions.
Stick a killer whale in the water and sharks stay gone for a
year?
Boom.
Killer wales have already proved that they love people and enjoy
being kept as pets so here’s what I’m thinking. We go in together
and purchase a big freightliner, putting two giant pools on its
deck that have some happy killer whales inside. Then we sail around
the world, responding to calls. Byron Bay? No problem. We anchor
off shore, drop the whales in the water then fetch them back,
feeding them extra fish, rubbing their tummies and saying, “Who’s a
good boy? Who’s the best boy?”
After that we head to the beach with an old coffee can, asking
for donations, repeating the same circuit during the year. We’ll be
rich in no time, not one shark will be culled and Bells will no
longer be put on hold because surfers are scared of
seaweed.
Tell me how this is not the ultimate win-win?
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John improved wave on wave all heat, with no
priority. His surfing has been stripped back, every turn has a
beginning, middle and end. He punched holes in the closeout
sections with a divine violence. WSL
Rip Curl Pro, Bells, Day Two: “An almighty
slog that hoovers up time and leaks audience interest like a bucket
with no bottom!”
By Longtom
Still, John John Florence surfed with "divine
violence" and a little seaweed terrified pro surfers and caused
temporary postponement of event…
John John Florence, back-to-back World Champion in 2016
and seventeen, walked with head bowed slowly and carefully
across the intertidal platform at Winkipop. His feet dodging the
sharp spires of mineralised paleogene sediment and enjoying the
crisp crunch of Neptunes necklace (hormosira banksii-edible*)
underneath them.
Wan yellow light, typical of a sun well past the autumn equinox,
strained through the high cloud. A day in the sun that would not
strain the melatonin of an Irish redhead.
Classic Victorian morning.
Day six of a disjointed waiting period. Heat 10 of round one had
already been surfed. Inconsistent, sectiony head-high walls with a
funky little cross hatch running through it from the
south-west.
Another day where the highest command would be “get the job
done”. Bourez smashed it, he blows tail on the end section now,
like Connor Coffin. Once I realised that the official narrative had
changed and round one was now the Seeding Round and round two had
been renamed the Elimination Round I went back to the Quik Pro
cached web archive in a panic.
Would the WSL be so bold to rewrite history so soon after it
occurred?
No, it was safe. Round one and two still existed, for now. Only
the present had been changed.
Being on the beach at sea level I didn’t get as comprehensive a
view of John John’s surfing at D-Bah as I would have liked.
Straight away during his first wave at Winki this morning I could
see he had modified his technique.
The casual upright skating stance had been replaced with a more
compressed line drive to the bottom of the wave, staying more
coiled into the bottom turn. The extra zest in the bottom turn as a
result of the centrifugal accelerative force was noticeable and
significant.
John improved wave on wave all heat, with no priority. His
surfing has been stripped back, every turn has a beginning, middle
and end. He punched holes in the closeout sections with a divine
violence.
A single criticism might be humbly made that his turn speed is
still a notch away from both his 2017 high point and the Dane
Reynolds bar circa 2009-2012.
I still bear a grudge from 2017, when John arrived at Bells
after his era defining performance at Margarets and blew Fanning
into irrelevance during their round four heat, only to be denied a
final with Jordy Smith by an unforgivable judging snafu with Ciao
Ibelli.
The forecast remaining still offers some hope of a retributive
justice being served on that crime. John vs Jordy at
six-to-eight-foot Bells Bowl. That would make wading through these
hard slog days a worthwhile sacrifice.
And they are a slog.
Luckily, we are free to make the anti-depressant observations
that no matter how you dress up the front end of the comp, rename
it, rewrite history, put your best men and women on the job of
hard-selling it to an uncomprehending public it’s an almighty slog
that hoovers up vast amounts of time and leaks audience interest
like a bucket with no bottom.
I’ve always made a living trusting my senses, relying on
judgement; but in the moment you can get it wrong.
I was too harsh on Kelly last article, pointed out by a valued
commenter and I did go back and look at the numbers and I got it
wrong. Kelly’s performance was above standard for the day.
I’ve also stood beside Mikey Wright and know him to be a big
man. Over six foot 80 kilos-plus. 176. Fighting UFC he would no
doubt add the bulk and fight light heavyweight.
But there was Pete Mel on the sand telling us he came in at a
scrawny 74 klicks. Isn’t Pete the “facts and numbers” guy?
In a tight heat Mikey was pushed into the dreaded Elimination
Round by Peterson Crisanto and Kanoa Igarashi.
The women’s and men’s surfing running concurrently creates a
disjunction in the aesthetic phenomenon of pro surfing, far more
abrupt and disturbing on broadcast than when viewing live.
Carissa Moore and Steph Gilmore hold their own when put into
this close quarters comparison, the rest of the women suffer badly
when viewed in such proximity to their male counterparts.
“Carrissa looks pissed,” said Old Bitch Tits Wasilewski ,
perhaps forgetting the meaning of such a phrase on the edge of this
dusty old continent. She did look ferocious but Coco Ho clearly had
her measure with extravagantly kicked out top turns.
Steph, no surprise, laid down the benchmark with – no surprise –
perfect flow.
The four Elimination Round heats went down in weak high-tide
Winkipop. The first one being delayed when Jack Freestone, seeing a
large clump of seaweed, made the sign of a shark.
A little clumsily, I thought, by clasping his hands together and
placing them on his head, in effect imitating a shark. I much
prefer the single upright hand making the shape of a dorsal fin
cleaving through the water.
Did you see it?
Wonder, like me, what the hell was going on?
Ronnie said something about wildlife. Lots of dead air.
Had the shark been erased from history like Rounds One and
Two?
Was the shark now merely a metaphor, an unutterable word?
Owen Wright later admitted it was merely a clump of botanical
material,- edible, no doubt, “jeez it was a big clump!” The show
went on and the local wildcard was eliminated.
Soli Bailey made comeback from last to first after a shaky
start, with some incisive inquiries into the lip and some cute
little airs that judges paid.
Reef Heazelwood, can we just call him Catweazle and be done with
it, has got a unique backhand where he can go up and come back down
the same line, with a tweaked tail thrown in at the zenith of the
arc.
Good enough to win heat three by a large margin.
M-Rod was underscored in the last heat, then over-scored by way
of compensation to progress through with Caio Ibelli.
They ran the Fight for the Bight campaign heavily through the
broadcast.
A delicate, delicate dance don’t you think?
The energy intensive lifestyle of the modern surfer relies on
the utilisation of these ancient deposits of hydrocarbons.
No human on earth past, present or future is more dependent on
it than the Pro Surfer. The ocean means so much to the WSL, yet
they are partners and advocates in a technology of energy hungry
devices making waves in tubs with precious fresh water. Devices
they wish to propagate around the world.
I don’t judge.
There’s no life worth living on Earth without a measure of
hypocrisy.
Will you simplify your life? Cut down on resource use, OS trips,
surfboards?
Go on then. I will if you will.
But, you go first.
*Very nice raw, or dried, ground up and sprinkled on a green
salad.
Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach Men’s Round 3
Matchups:
Heat 1: Julian Wilson (AUS) vs. Kelly Slater (USA)
Heat 2: Peterson Crisanto (BRA) vs. Michael Rodrigues (BRA)
Heat 3: Conner Coffin (USA) vs. Soli Bailey (AUS)
Heat 4: Michel Bourez (FRA) vs. Ryan Callinan (AUS)
Heat 5: Filipe Toledo (BRA) vs. Caio Ibelli (BRA)
Heat 6: Mikey Wright (AUS) vs. Seth Moniz (HAW)
Heat 7: Kolohe Andino (USA) vs. Jacob Willcox (AUS)
Heat 8: Wade Carmichael (AUS) vs. Deivid Silva (BRA)
Heat 9: Gabriel Medina (BRA) vs. Reef Heazlewood (AUS)
Heat 10: Willian Cardoso (BRA) vs. Yago Dora (BRA)
Heat 11: Owen Wright (AUS) vs. Ricardo Christie (NZL)
Heat 12: John John Florence (HAW) vs. Jadson Andre (BRA)
Heat 13: Italo Ferreira (BRA) vs. Jack Freestone (AUS)
Heat 14: Ezekiel Lau (HAW) vs. Jeremy Flores (FRA)
Heat 15: Kanoa Igarashi (JPN) vs. Adrian Buchan (AUS)
Heat 16: Jordy Smith (ZAF) vs. Leonardo Fioravanti (ITA)
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"The Lord often requires us to do things that
we think sound impossible," says Clark. @myallsnaps
SUP Foiler Jeff Clark responds to anti-foil
buzz: Dog to blame for collision with VAL!
By Derek Rielly
"Homer, with the dog on the nose of his board,
spins around and takes off in front of, and towards me, completely
blocking my ability to get out of the wave."
A story that involves a surfing dog, a VAL and a foiling
SUP deserves to be enjoyed over and over again.
Darkly funny, yes?
Now, in response to the footage of his foil taking out a VAL,
Jeff Clark writes on The
Inertia.
What is actually happening is me riding a wave more than 400
yards before he even starts his video. I see a guy on his board
with a dog on the nose, paddling out. I see him and he sees me. I’m
thinking, “No problem, I’m going to get right out to the shoulder
where he’s paddling over the wave and I’ll be out of the zone that
I don’t want to be in.”
But former professional surfer Homer, with the dog on the
nose of his board, spins around and takes off in front of, and
towards me, completely blocking my ability to get out of the
wave.
I own it. I don’t ever want to be foiling around people. If
you know anything about me, you know I don’t like to surf around
people — never have. Yet, with my escape route blocked, I next had
to deal with a bunch of surf school students who may have never
been in the ocean before. This is one wave in my lifetime of waves,
and I ended up in a really bad place and did everything possible to
keep the foil away from man and beast.
What is really amazing to me is the amount of hate that
surfers and keyboard jockeys have pent up. The surfing message
boards and media lit up with controversy promoting hate and
control.
The video got over 200,000 views, caused by a pro surfer and
his dog dropping in on me and captured by his personal photographer
as I get stuffed. Did I think a professional surfer would disregard
the safety of his dog and everyone in the water to get his video?
No.
I was really bummed when it happened. I made sure everyone
was ok, the guy on the soft top was all good, and we talked about
how stoked he was to be in the ocean for the first time. For me,
the incident was extremely disappointing but having no one hurt was
the best outcome. For Guerin Myall and Homer, it meant social media
views.
The Lord often requires us to do things that we think sound
impossible. Forgive seventy times seven times? This does not mean
490 times, but boundless forgiveness; that we travel with
forgiveness for those who have wronged us. Forgiveness is not
always easy, especially when we have been deeply hurt or wronged,
but the Lord’s command to forgive is one that can free and heal our
hearts and cultivate boundless love for our neighbors.
Have a happy Easter weekend as we celebrate Jesus Christ who
gave his life for us.
Do you think Jesus would ride a SUP foil?
Or more VAL?
Or didn’t exist or was a crank who got his just desserts and so
on?
Paradise Lost: California’s surf clubs in
danger of going extinct!
By Chas Smith
Hurry and join before they're vanished!
I’m not typically a “joiner” in the traditional
sense of the word, but being part of a surf club has always seemed
a wonderful dream. Wearing cool sweaters or windbreakers, earning
and using funny nicknames, being a lout, drinking canned bear on
ol’ Ms. Havisham’s lawn then running away from Johnny Law when he
comes hollering, stealing that bastard other surf club’s mascot,
painting it in our club’s colors then leaving it in the town
square, etc.
To be honest, I’m not really sure what surf clubs do but am
saddened that they are going extinct in California and would you
mind coming with me to The Orange County
Register briefly? Could you read out loud for both of
us?
Surf clubs used to be a way for families to spend weekends
together, a chance for the kids not only to compete but to learn
lessons about giving back to the community. Many of the longtime
members are parents, some of whom don’t surf, who have stuck around
long after their kids have gone off to college.
But the parents of many of today’s youths just want them to
compete, without the labor of being a volunteer with the club, Gale
said. They become “club hoppers,” only joining clubs where the kids
have more chance of competing or standing out for
sponsors.
So what’s missing are the volunteers who put the contests
together, the people who show up for meetings, and the helpers who
come out for the beach cleanups after the storms and get their
hands dirty.
“The Coalition are mom-and-pop charity organizations, we are
all nonprofit,” Gale said. “No one in the coalition gets paid. It’s
all volunteer work. This understanding of what formed this stepping
stone, they aren’t familiar with it.”
The Doheny Longboard Surfing Association, which has been
around since 1988, usually has about 150 to 200 members. This year?
About 40.
“What are we going to do to save this to make a positive
impact on our community?” Gale asked. “It’s a constant
strain.”
Some clubs are getting creative by adding activities outside
of surf events, such as bowling leagues or miniature golf
tournaments — extra incentives to encourage members to participate,
mingle and have fun.
The Doheny club will gather Friday, April 19, to talk about
dwindling membership and how to revitalize the club so it doesn’t
vanish — so they can continue with the legacy of events, such as
the Gathering of the Tribes.
“My hope is that we don’t have another galvanizing event
that causes these surf clubs to form, such as beach cleanups and
water-quality issues,” Gale said. “But now that the storm has gone
by and we’re all having fun, the people thinking about getting
involved will realize that there’s a lot more than just a surf
contest that will put a smile on your face. You can join these
clubs, make a difference in your community, and surf.”
So I don’t know about the smile on my face, making a difference
in my community or surfing and these club-hopping soccer parents
seem extra lame but… maybe it’s time for me to give surf club
membership a real crack.
Do you belong to one? Can I join yours? What are our colors?
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Did you watch? Did you witness the rebirth of
Jack Robinson? All that promise, all that potential, back if only
for one day.
Just in: Jack Robinson ditches Billabong
for Volcom/Juicy Couture!
By Derek Rielly
A lifetime of free velvet tracksuits for Pipe
Trials and Volcom Pipe Pro winner!
The Australian surfer Jack Robinson is, to yank a phrase
from a popular nineties song, something like a
phenomenon.
Ain’t nobody in Australia, most of the world, if we’re to be
frank, who can throw on the brakes and ride a ten-foot tube like
twenty-one-year-old Jackie.
A fantasy of mine is eight-to-ten Teahupoo and it’s Jack v John
John v Kelly.
Jackie’s won the Pipe Trials, he’s won the Volcom Pipe Pro.
It’s as if his parent sponsor was pushing him away.
Anyway,
He’s on the Stone, now, and What Youth founder and
sometime BeachGrit writer Travis Ferré has written the
presser.
Jack Robinson is no stranger. Not to us in the collective
surf world or any of the surrounding seas. We all know him. We know
his straw-like blonde hair from miles away. We can identify his
stylish and powerful turns from way down the beach. And we
recognize his world class and mysteriously intuitive tube riding
even with the sun in our eyes. Simply: Jack’s been blowing our mind
for a very long time. But Jack is only 21 years old! Which is
surreal to read because we’ve all known his surfing for so long.
That’s because Jack was blessed with preternatural talent since
boyhood and we’ve been watching him grow up right before our eyes.
For more than a decade now actually. At Teahupoo. At Pipeline. At
the Box. At North Point. All over the world. And in movies. With
standout performances at world-class waves. Always on the one.
Growing up. Proving himself. And now, it’s official: Jack
Robinson is no longer the boy next door. He’s ready to carve his
way into the place in the surf pantheon we’ve been holding for him
since he was 8 years old. It’s time. And to kick off Jack’s new
chapter, he will be joining the most eclectic, authentic and
legitimate surf family on the planet: Volcom.
Yeah, Jack Robinson rides for Volcom now.
Don’t call it a sequel or a comeback, call it the beginning
for Jack Robinson and Volcom.
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Jon Pyzel and Matt Biolos by
@theneedforshutterspeed/Step Bros
