"Homer, with the dog on the nose of his board, spins around and takes off in front of, and towards me, completely blocking my ability to get out of the wave."
A story that involves a surfing dog, a VAL and a foiling SUP deserves to be enjoyed over and over again.
Darkly funny, yes?
Now, in response to the footage of his foil taking out a VAL, Jeff Clark writes on The Inertia.
What is actually happening is me riding a wave more than 400 yards before he even starts his video. I see a guy on his board with a dog on the nose, paddling out. I see him and he sees me. I’m thinking, “No problem, I’m going to get right out to the shoulder where he’s paddling over the wave and I’ll be out of the zone that I don’t want to be in.”
But former professional surfer Homer, with the dog on the nose of his board, spins around and takes off in front of, and towards me, completely blocking my ability to get out of the wave.
I own it. I don’t ever want to be foiling around people. If you know anything about me, you know I don’t like to surf around people — never have. Yet, with my escape route blocked, I next had to deal with a bunch of surf school students who may have never been in the ocean before. This is one wave in my lifetime of waves, and I ended up in a really bad place and did everything possible to keep the foil away from man and beast.
What is really amazing to me is the amount of hate that surfers and keyboard jockeys have pent up. The surfing message boards and media lit up with controversy promoting hate and control.
The video got over 200,000 views, caused by a pro surfer and his dog dropping in on me and captured by his personal photographer as I get stuffed. Did I think a professional surfer would disregard the safety of his dog and everyone in the water to get his video? No.
I was really bummed when it happened. I made sure everyone was ok, the guy on the soft top was all good, and we talked about how stoked he was to be in the ocean for the first time. For me, the incident was extremely disappointing but having no one hurt was the best outcome. For Guerin Myall and Homer, it meant social media views.
Read a few more paragraphs here.
Clark wraps up with a little Bible study.
The Lord often requires us to do things that we think sound impossible. Forgive seventy times seven times? This does not mean 490 times, but boundless forgiveness; that we travel with forgiveness for those who have wronged us. Forgiveness is not always easy, especially when we have been deeply hurt or wronged, but the Lord’s command to forgive is one that can free and heal our hearts and cultivate boundless love for our neighbors.
Have a happy Easter weekend as we celebrate Jesus Christ who gave his life for us.
Do you think Jesus would ride a SUP foil?
Or more VAL?
Or didn’t exist or was a crank who got his just desserts and so on?
(Thanks to @surfads for reading The Inertia.)
they go tô dog’s heaven, i’ve heard…
I agree with everything except your last sentence.
you know there’s places specifically fit for the worship/evangelizing bullshit dont you? just fuck off..
Fuck religion. The root of all evil, a fantasy.
Stand up foiler?? What the hell, might as well throw an outrigger on it. As long as locally sourced eco friendly material that is.
Jesus Christ Jeff Clark! Decapitation means someone doesn’t get their exaltation and inherit the celestial kingdom!
what kind of psychopath do you have to be to use any brief platform as an opportunity to spew some bullshit canned sermon?
the samwaters kind…
In the name of the Father, Son, and the Pyzel Ghost, amen.
Bottom line, Clark should not have been foiling in the crowd, and then uses religion to avoid taking responsibility for his actions?
Nevermind divine intervention for wayward foilers and kooks, we live in a world where people are being blown up in the name of fiction.
FUCKING FICTION.
It’s gotten so bad Brazilians are winning heats because of divine intervention. These are a people with incredible abilities in marginal surf and they have resorted to requiring the almighty to bless them with heat wins. I can’t imagine how difficult the Ciao and Filipe heat is going to be for god…Praise be.
While we’re crucifying foilboarders…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
I disagree. It’s clear that Jeff Clark is taking responsibility for his actions. He was riding a foil in a crowded place, something potentially dangerous. He’s accepted that was dangerous, and that it was his fault, and only his fault, alone.
Ok. I’ve reread the article. It was the dog’s fault, and god forgives dogs, so should we
People are fucking ridiculous
Takeaway;
The Lord AND Jeff Clark work in mysterious ways.
Easter Message of the Year !
Epic post. Fantastic work.
WTF ya moronic kooks? Not one mention of Skyler styling it? This is all about Skyler and her dogged skills under pressure. I thought my black lab could shred but Skyler holds 10 over the nose with Nuuhiwa-like grace despite the plethora of rubber-suited flailing wannabes splashing around her. @skylerthesurfingdog Just look for the salty aussie heeler with the 2 toned eyes throwing buckets on you holy losers.
jeez Clark soloed Mavs for all those years. What happened? Looked in satans pits too many times? Praying to god, “please please dont close out, I’ll convert from barbarian
It would be great if people, when they screw up, would just say….”yeah, my bad, it won’t happen again”.
It would be great, unfortunetly, you can not change your own heart. Good news–Jesus can forgive you and actually ‘change’ your heart–and give you new, good desires–where there were once bad ones. Its called being ‘born again’……
Good job sw
Jeff Clark is a Mormon btw
Jesus, that fucking hipster, is probably a drop-knee styled, Steve Lis fish riding steaz machine.
Thanks for asking Derek. Jesus was the son of God. If you Derek (or anyone), have ever told a lie, even a small one, or stolen anything, no matter how small, looked at a girl with the wrong motives or broken any of the 10 comandments, the Bible says you have sinned. You cannot enter into Heaven with unforgiven sin in your life, which leaves only one other destination, Hell.– Now the good news.
Jesus died on the cross for our sins, (and rose 3 days later–Easter), so that we could have a way to be forgiven of our sins and enter into Heaven… But you first have to ‘realize’ you have sinned and you have to ‘ask’ to be forgiven (repentance, and turn from your sin) and you will have a place in Heaven and a relationship with the one who made you (our real purpose in life). It’s awesome……..
Jesus didn’t kill himself
The Romans executed him.
And there are easier ways to get cult members.
Start a website and write a lot of bullshit and rip off other people’s work for example.
The Jewish Cult kill Jesus!
Not a SUP Pilate?
Hi Bex, yes your right, the Romans executed Him. But as Jesus said, “No man takes my life away from me, I lay it down of my own ‘free will’. I have the power to lay it down, and I have the power to take it up again. This is what my Father commanded me to do.” —-Jesus laid down (gave), His life for us willingly….
Fair nuff
But so did lottsa soldiers
Maybe that’s why Easter and Anzac day are close together
Hey bex, soldiers did fight and give their lifes, but Jesus was the son of God and led a–‘Sinless’ –life, and was thus the only suitable sacrifice for the sins of the world……..
What about when he trashed the temple in a fit of rage, hmm?
Well bex, You may have heard the term “righteous indignation.” It is an anger that is displayed against sin. It is not a sinful anger, but a holy and righteous hatred of sin. That is what Jesus displayed in the Temple. The Jews were bringing animals right into God’s house, and making it more like a barn, than a holy place to pray. Jesus was thoroughly disgusted at their disrespect of God’s house, and thus drove them all out of there.
It was more that they were selling at very inflated prices to people who were poor yet relied on the sacrificial animals being sold (“den of thieves”) that Jesus seemed to be bent about, and rightfully so. People mock “Jeebus” a lot which I find to be very lazy intellectually. Evangelical Christianity, particularly that of the West deserves to be mocked for many things, but you’d be hard pressed to find someone with more compassion for the marginalized than Jesus.
We could do with a few more JCs, what’s the big guy waiting for.
Surely you can’t have all the answers?
Hate to break it to you but no he didn’t say that. 1. No historical Jesus. 2. We have no fucking idea what any human 2000 years ago said.
I look at girls all the time, but mostly in a she-shouldn’t-wear-yellow or you’d-look-gorgeous-with-bangs sorta way. Is that illegal, too? And, excluding a sudden death, I hope to repent all sins on death bed thereby evaporating a lifetime of terrible, but terribly fun, wrongs.
If you’ve already pent up all these sins in life, what’s the point in repenting. Double down?
A little insurance policy. What if the Christians got it right? It ain’t a gamble I’m gonna take. And what have you got to lose?
Everyone does it apparently
I got blindsided by the priest just before my wedding for a little confession.
Geez mate, I don’t think you really wanna know, I said.
That’ll do, he said.
Couple of hail Mary’s and you’re good to go.
Well, not really, a Priest cannot forgive you of your sins, and saying a couple of hail Marys can not cleanse your heart. Repentance comes from your heart–to God……
Are those the big airs that they try to land at the end of the heat when they need a massive score?
Yep same, or close enough.
Most here will need a hail Mary to get through the heat of hell and into heaven
Mary was the best looking apostle. And Jeebus said “She wore not the confinement of mom jeans, and for this there was much rejoice.” If jeebus couldn’t take his eyes off her, then why should we deprive ourselves from enjoying the look of a beautiful woman?
Who knows why Passover and Easter, two very different stories a thousand years apart, are celebrated on roughly the same date? Gave myself a little theological lesson yesterday. The answer will shock, surprise etc.
There was a recent (last 4-5 years) ruin discovery in what I want to say was Jordan, maybe Syria, where there was found evidence that worship of deity(ies) was guided by a woman. Monotheistism. Not paganism. But also not exclusive of the worship of sun as birthing life. Cause lets face it, crop success meant life success which meant babies living beyond infancy success which everyone then thought was really great to have. Had the hallmarks of Christianity without saints, which came later. Before Christianity was Christianity, the earliest iteration. If Jeebus did exist, no reason to think he didn’t have a family. Why wouldn’t he? Mary probably wasn’t a prostitute. There were SJW then too.
Pascal was a wuss. Try Occam’s razor instead, and apply it to the convoluted contradicting violent history of multiple Christianities. Check out the work of Burton Mack, too.
No, just admiring a girl is not wrong, we were meant to be attracted to the opposite sex. Marrage is God’s plan.
And the only thing wrong with your “death-bed” plan is that after a lifetime of saying ‘no’ to God’s goodness and the chances He gave you to repent–you have already ‘hardened’ your heart to Him by not receiving His forgiveness when you had so many chances to do so–and you may then find it impossible to ask for it in the last few moments of your life because your heart has grown hard–and it is not open to God’s call anymore………
Yeah Derek, unharden your heart. Fuck.
Ja for fucks sake, un-fucken-harden your fucken hard fucken heart Derek!
You need an intervention samwaters…. the truth will set you free. Imagine how much more time you will have when you give up worshipping? And marriage (children) is the churches plan for growing demographics…. like building pools inland to surf on.
Worked out OK for Constantine. Wait until you’re about to cark it and cash in all your sins.
Do you reckon he went to heaven, or hell? More to the point, how do we know if he went to heaven or not? Is there a list somewhere?
Yes, it does work out well for some people, and I pray it works our well for countless numbers of people. But it didn’t work out well for the one thief on the cross though. Right next to Jesus knowing he was going to die and he didn’t repent. Do you want to ‘take the chance’ and hope your heart is open at the last monent–your not even quranteed you will get a ‘last moment’. You may be unconscious, or die instantly in an accident. Is it worth the risk?
Only God new what was really in Constatine’s heart. And yes, there is a Book of Life in Heaven.
Sweet. Tell you what, I’ll continue my life full of what you’d call sin and I call fun, and gamble on judgement day not happening before I repent (if I remember to with all the distractions).
Odds are in my favour given its been over 2000 years and still hadn’t happened. That’s what they call a sure bet.
You can pray for me if you want (TIA) but you only get one life and I intend to live it to the fullest, not like some pencil necked dweeb. Anyway I’m sure my sins aren’t as bad as Constantine’s so if it was good enough for him it’s good enough for me. Peace ✌️
Samwaters you ever hear of Bart Ehrman, esp his book Misquoting Jesus? Try it out sometime. Decolonize your brain a bit.
What a tired bed time story you’re still reading.
TRUTH
So something happened in the ocean that he didn’t plan? Must be the first time ever.
Chicks are ripping!
Fuk that dog and his constant whining
Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a kooky Half Moon Bay AARP foiler at a crowded beginners break admit that he’s an idiot to be scimitar SUP’ing there