Surf talk.
The Tahiti Pro Teahupoo presented by Hurley is still fresh on my lips, especially that penultimate day, and it saddens me greatly that it will be chased by hot action from a steamy pool in Lemoore, California. Oh, I know Freshwater Pro is still weeks away but the depression is already creeping. I love our times together during the contests. Love our “live chats” but truly don’t know if I’ll be able to muster the requisite oomph in order to turn that Freshwater Pro on to watch with you. The mechanical drone of the sled. The odd format. The cows grazing and gazing over the fence at sunburned sows throwing back Michelob Ultra Gold brewed with Zoe Kravitz.
Shame on the World Surf League for introducing that cursed tank to the tour.
Shame!
Speaking of, I drove to Album surfboards yesterday, there in San Clemente, and sat down with David Lee Scales to discuss all manner of this and that. We spent much time on shame and how sad that it has vanished, more or less, from our safespace snowflake surfing world. I got on, again, about how World Surf League commentators‘ refusal to say what we are all seeing, that the Panda and Yago Dora were too afraid to surf, was an insult to us.
Shame is a powerful tool and useful too. Every time I have been kicked into shame’s burning klieg light I’ve been thankful, later. Sure it stings, sure it burns, but hopefully it burns another little piece of weak will. Another little bit of lily-liver.
We need more shame.
David Lee and I also discussed style, the whole Big Wave thing and the greatest show that has ever appeared on television. Can you guess what it is? Shame is omnipresent!
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Triple overhead+. Aka at least 6m face.
YoU mEaN tW0 f0Ot hæWaiIan bRa?!!!
I don’t know. I can’t see the back of the wave and i’m too insecure to call it bigger than what someone else would incase someone thinks Im not casual enough about under calling wave size… plus, Who the fuck uses foot?
Yago confuses me. He’s known to charge Pipeline. Is Chopes that much scarier?
I listen to it later
You still surf that album asym chas?
I saw the headline and I thought,” Finally, an article about what a pussy and a huge liar Rob Machado is for quitting the tour to be with his wife and kids. In Rob’s spare time cheats on his wife and kids with a barely legal 18 year old (her dad is inthe fold by the way. He lives like he’s sponsored by Hurley). Unfortunately, Rob’s brainwashing ability is too strong for some. Any other sport, any other part of the country, Rob’s act wouldn’t last a week.He is afraid to set foot in 80% of San Diego County because he is obviously a huge wussy. He is afraid of Teahoopoo for the same reason.
On the affected style, Chas was onto something with the knocked knee. Looks amazing but functionally disastrous for the human knee. Cannot be natural. It is a style perversion. All the tuck knee guys paid the price at some point. Craig, Dane, John John, now Mick.
After the podcast I read the mentioned “style selfie rebuttal article” on the zigzag website. It warmed my cold hardened heart to read that fluffy feel-good magazine refer to the BG comments section as “the place where hope for humanity goes to die“.
Hed fit in well here with comments like that
I’m gonna listen the’nicht.
I’ll prepare appropriate notes for feedback.
Listened.
The whole Cynicism / shame thing: v funny. v true.
More shame needed.
I’m ashamed right now.
I got angry at dinner (Fathers Day dinner no less) and stormed out and am now in office to work late and then will sneak home later. Fuck.
Shame. It’s complicated.
Now; don’t noone tell me I ain’t done nothin wrong, cuz I sure done it, and I am a grumpy asshole.
For shame.
But FUCK, PANDA, YAGO!!! WTF?!?!?
😂😂
Mushles….
Query. Any other sport where shaming is needed / required / helpful ?
The refs in rugby league apparently.
I’d say all!
Wanna know about shame…
being single, picking up at a pub.. spending Sunday morning washing the goddam sheets, airing out a mattress that I’m sure won’t ever recover and all the while coming down from a cap of fine mdma. The real indignity of it all is that I missed a surf this morning. No way in hell, I’m coming home to post squirt drenched bedding, post surf.
Now that my dear Grittian’s is real shame. Thank fuck for panadeine forte and McDonalds. I’m truly going to hell.
Nah dude. You’re living the dream. Enjoy it while it lasts.
I’m missing the surf too, and it’s Fathers’ Day, the one where all daddies get a free surf pass no matter what.
Kick back and enjoy your freedom. It’s only one day of surf and would meld into all the other one in a few months.
Haha I swore off all those capers years ago but subsequently fell off the wagon. No groms and shift work generally allows me some make up time this week.
I like your idea of shame
It depends on the quality of the achievement
I like how you worked in“post squirt drenched bedding”. A bit of a humble brag, no? A “no claim claim” if you will.
It was a shock to me and I received no advanced warning! Slater nose wipe claim/no claim. Deeply pitted, out after the spray!
I’d rather that than the shame of having to change the sheets twice weekly with the wife even though they’ve never been properly used.
At least you can choose when, or when not, to change your sheets.
If you are going to shame Felipe at least also add in his previous heat at the Box against Jack. Twice this year he has failed. He sort of had a crack at Bells. But the reality is that his shame file is huge and growing year by year.
its ridiculous the fact that felipe toledo holds the yellow jersey can’t surf real waves the box, teahupoo, pipeline or any wave of consequence instead of traveling to fiji, tahiti, WA for training he goes to el salvador with his all family and the rest of tge time he surfs mushy stuff like his home in trestles
I thought you were “over the contest” before it began Chas?
I love too, people who struggle in pedestrian surf, castigating shame relentlessly on elite tour competitors that “fail” at any tour stop. Like, no one can have any weaknesses surfing except the women’s tour which no one can bring up. Felipe was skewered for not being a Chopes surfer, but he’ll torch the rest of the venues. Parko looked like dog shit at the pool, yet same critics don’t say a word about his inability to connect the dots. ?
I hear you but that Teahupoo wasn’t overwhelming. To me, yes, but not to a world-level talent. They all shoulda gone!
So you don’t think Toledo belongs on tour because he’s not dominant at Chopes?
Chas, I’ve been touting a contraction of the elite tour for decades. 16 men runs so efficiently, this contest proves how you can finish an entire contest in a short amount of time if you have less baggage (women’s tour). Now halve the mens draw to 16?!
Why don’t you toss that around with David LS?
Have a good weekend, the fucking hordes have descended Hippy Beach and I’m in hiding.
I think the “fear” is set up by your brain (chemicals) worked out off the odds of making the drop. In that moment nature kick in and tells is a no go (stay away from that lion) I read a study that said there is more of a certain chemical in some peoples brains that allows them to be that “hellman” (and it’s also the chemical that murderers have similar levels of) You don’t automatically get a high dose of that chemical because you are highly skilled. So i feel shame would be shaming people who are just that way by birth?
Get rid of Bells and Snapper?
Get fuked
You’ll thank me later!
More like thump you later
Should be QS venues….
snapper is a bit boring of a kick off though. the chicks are hot on the beach? didn’t they try to kick off the tour with PIPE? that would have been sick, maybe finish the tour at … the duck pond? excitement abounds.
Must we be fully entertained every second of every day?
into our 40’s, yes.. after.. not so much.
Snapper is second fiddle to J-Bay when it comes to right hand point-breaks on tour. It doesn’t need to be there and I’d be happy to lose it in favour or somewhere better (Another Indo event? Mexico?)
Bells I feel is a healthy challenge, and a test of rail and ability to read waves. It separates the real surfers from the grovellers and that is a good thing.
On the WSL wall of positivity deal I think we all forget it’s really an entertainment vehicle and not a sports broadcast.
Sure but since when has monosyllabic positivity been entertaining? Where is the WSL’s version of Simon Cowell?
Why you asking us?
You could have asked that endless bummer guy
Speaking of bummers, how about them Storm, pretty good ay ….
Injury asterisk.
TT ? A bummer for him for sure.
you made me go back to look at the Cardosa Druru heat… Druru got a 6.2 and Barton says something to the effect “I’m laughing because these are the days that prosurfers dream about, that they are laughing that they get these waves by themselves”… and as I was typing this.. Cardosa got a .93 and the commentators didn’t say a word about it, they kept talking about the bleaching until Adriano got a bomb.. LOL. .they skipped it..
It was a wild run. A completely wild run of positivity.
Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to see some objectivity but I’m guessing it’s a survival thing. Simon Cowell can say what he wants. He’s the producer.
I think that’s their his – that the producers/execs need to let the muzzle off their dogs.
If the higher-ups allow more opinions in the booth, the commentators will no doubt deliver.
on a note of “packing bombs”, the new Koa Rothman edit/show is worth the watch.
If a Cardoso falls in a forest and no one talked about it did it really happen …. ?
https://youtu.be/i7OEvo-GjUg
Good episode. I commend you on Scales’ ailment diagnostics. The booze has kept me outta the Doc’s office for years.
It’s tried and true.
The thing about shame is if it’s not shameful it’s likely sham-wow!