Joel Tudor on Amazon rainforest fires:
“Don’t believe the hype!”
By Chas Smith
"Is the forest burning?" "No burning."
And have you been following along with the
troubles in the “lungs of the earth?” Of course you have. Of course
you know that the Amazon is burning thanks to either a relaxation
of restrictions from Brazil’s President Jair Bolsonaro, record heat
or, as President Bosonaro claimed, non-governmental workers
frustrated that their wages have cut and are taking it out on the
rainforest.
All news outlets report that fires in the Amazon are up over 80%
compared with last year. Many fires. Many many fires. Or are
there?
Two days ago, professional longboarder Joel Tudor posted a video
on his very entertaining Instagram account featuring a Brazilian
jiu-jitsu aficionado and a one-time director of sports from the
Amazon region.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B1shEmenahC/
The BJJ aficionado introduces his friend then asks, “Is the
Amazon burning?”
The one-time director of sports answers, “No burning.”
The two go on to profess much support for President Jair
Bolsonaro claiming that the only thing burning are the hearts and
consciences of those disrespecting him.
Joel Tudor captions the post “Don’t believe the hype!”
So, is the rainforest really not burning?
Have we been scammed?
Help!
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Anonymous giving DFK hell. Billy
Lee-Pope
Longtom on the Cabianca/Medina DFK: “The
easiest pro level board I’ve wrangled!”
By Longtom
Our reviewer finds the Holy Grail of surfboards, an
ultra-high performance sled for the immediate surfer…
It does seem a little like cheating when you get, not
just what you want, but what you need and with perfect
timing.
Thus it was, that around the same time Medina had slayed J-Bay
on his 6’0” DFK by Johnny Cabianca I received mine in the same
dimensions, in time for a six-week run of perfect waves where my
local resembled a sub-tropical warm water version of J-Bay, except
better.
Sure, I got chipped for it by local wags.
“What, you think you’re fucking Gabe Medina?”
Yeah, if Gabe was reincarnated as a bald, albino with
intermediate skills. I do, after many hours in the sun look like a
plucked and cooked turkey, so I guess me and Gabs (armpits) do have
that in common.
The dominant narrative on Gabe’s boards is that you could stick
deck chairs on ’em and host baby boomer cruises to the South
Pacific with very little modification.
That did not gel with my initial impression.
I felt a very balanced, slightly lower rockered round tail
shortboard with the only noteworthy features being a slightly
thicker tail foil and a very crisp edge on the bottom tail rail
extending forwards of the fin cluster. Subtle bottom contours.
The thing felt damn good. Substantial.
Almost invariably the initial impressions of a new sled are
determined by context, what you’ve been riding and where. I’d been
cycling through some insane surfboards for good point waves: a 6’3”
roundpin Maurice Cole Protow custom, 6’6” Desert Storm custom
swallowtail and, on days when the westerly wind was howling or the
devil wind was in, a 7’3” Aleutian Juice custom Vector-Cuda. The
best quiver I’ve ever had for good waves.
A 6’0”, no matter how generously foiled, was always going to be
easy to power up after cycling down from those boards.
I’m shit with my hands but before I rode the DFK I did a little
DIY mod to the BeachGrit tail-pad, based on a positive
experience with a Necro pad and negative one with a Connor Coffin
pad. I figured a low, subtle kick was to my taste so took a
stanley-knife and hacked the kick in half. That turned out to be a
very good move.
A ruled-edge long period east swell greeted my maiden
voyage.
Crisp, before sunrise on a Sunday morning. Strangely uncrowded.
Sizzling little head-high racetracks. It took very little to get
this board humming. Maybe the first wave or two felt little
sketchy, a bit under-powered due to coming off much longer rail
lines.
It took less than half the session to figure out the board
wanted to be surfed simply and definitively from top to bottom with
no wiggles or double pumps to keep the water flowing through the
fins or the concaves engaged.
Since I T-boned an elderly Vietnamese man on a rainy night in
Byron Bay and got shown the door from bus driving* I’ve had to
account for my time with more prudence.
As a full-time freelancer two go-outs in a day is rare. Feels
too indulgent.
But my Bribie pal had come back from FIFO in the Tanami desert,
which is the middle of Australia if you’ve never heard of it. He
was keen for a paddle, and although I’m not a leave passer I did
get the second bite of the cherry with the blessing of my
spouse.
Second surfs always feel better.
I never pretend to be anything more than high intermediate,
competent is the vain term. The DFK is a board that is reassuringly
easy to come to grips with. After riding various high-performance
shortboards I’ve come to believe that control is the most important
variable.
In sunny head-high point surf, with just a ruffle of side
breeze, the DFK felt very, very solid. Leveraging speed off the
bottom to go straight back into the top third felt seamless, and
you can push that as hard as you like.
Generating rhythmic momentum from turn to turn very much within
my grasp.
I never pretend to be anything more than high intermediate,
competent is the vain term. The DFK is a board that is reassuringly
easy to come to grips with. After riding various high-performance
shortboards I’ve come to believe that control is the most important
variable.
That balance between sensitivity and drive has to be tilted
firmly in the drive quadrant, for me, to be able to get the board
where I want it go. Struggling with control is almost the
definition of a board outside your area of expertise.
I felt confident pushing this board very hard, from that second
surf onwards. That had generally positive results. We can all
agree, I hope, a point of difference for Gabe’s surfing is the
ability to switch from hi-fi, fins-free or aerial attack to classic
power-based carving.
My skill set did not extend to the former but very much enjoyed
the latter on the DFK.
The only mixed bag came in a crowded Saturday surf where the
Grace of God smiled upon me and I jagged three set waves in quick
succession. Threading through a heavy pack I thought I could blast
a backhand high hook on the corner of a tubing section with
multiple people to dodge. Ended up catching an outside edge and
slamming hard.
Not sure whether it was the rail of my board or someone elses or
the wave but I spent the rest of the day thinking I was having a
heart attack. Rib cartilage or broken rib. Nothing Nurofen before and after a surf
couldn’t fix.
The only other slight caution is to be on your fin game.
I think Gabe’s DFK is the easiest pro level board I’ve
wrangled.
The trend among most pros has been to increase volume. You’d
have to give Matt Biolos credit for that. When Fanning jumped on
the Mayhems (at Trestles) and changed the emphasis to more volume
he got better immediately.
All up, from pro to Joe people mostly look better and surfing
feels better on something that paddles and has some glide, even at
the high-perf level. There’s really only one human being alive who
looks good on an underpowered sled and we call him the greatest of
all time.
Toledo gets away with bladier boards.
Julian’s still look underpowered to my eye, especially now
compared to Medina.
JJF has added litreage.
All up, from pro to Joe people mostly look better and surfing
feels better (to me) on something that paddles and has some glide,
even at the high-perf level. There’s really only one human being
alive who looks good on an underpowered sled and we call him the
greatest of all time.
A way forwards for the rec surfer is to get your top end dialed
and customised, make sure your good-wave sleds are as good as they
can be. That gives latitude for experimentation in the
high-performance “space”, if you’ll pardon the corporate
malapropism.
Johnny Cabianca has put a high-performance sled square into the
Goldilocks zone for the average recreational surfer. I cannot
recommend highly enough.
I rode my DFK as a stock 6’0”, just under thirty litres of
volume.
* I had two witnesses who testified he was driving without
lights on. No matter, I got shitcanned.
Innovative: Florida man attempts to surf
six-foot shark; gets bit!
By Chas Smith
"I felt like a train hit me..."
What is the weirdest board you have ever
surfed? A smooshy little fish? A long n lean gun? A Tomo, asym,
swallow? Well, a chiropractor from Florida has you beat, surfing a
shark for a few exciting moments, and let us
learn, together, about Donald Walsh and his New Smyrna
adventure.
Donald Walsh, a chiropractor, was surfing when he went
airborne and crash-landed on the shark, as The Daytona Beach
News-Journal reported.
“It felt like a freight train hit me and the first thing I
could think of was to literally push him away from me and as soon
as it happened, I grabbed my board and started to paddle as fast as
I could,” Walsh told Click Orlando.
Walsh was making his way back to shore after he had been
surfing for several hours and attempted to “go airborne,” something
he doesn’t typically do, when he landed on the shark. Walsh tried
to flee, and the shark bit him once, resulting in lacerations on
his arm and his calf.
“I never did see the shark as I was coming down,” Walsh told
the News-Journal. “I did see it after the bite happened.”
The story goes on and includes a happy ending, Mr. Walsh will
return to the lineup as soon as his wounds “close up” but I think
serious concerns are raised here.
First, what is Aaron Cormican doing today? He put New Smyrna on
the map, for me, and when I visited there as part of my Florida
Surf Film Festival vacation, I felt star-struck just being in his
same town.
Second, does attempting an air and potentially landing on a
shark give you pause? The last time I attempted an air my board
flipped upside down and I almost landed on my fins, which would
have hurt. I assume, from the beach, it looked like I was trying to
do a kickflip, which would have made me Zoltan Torkos, which would
have also hurt.
Third, why are sharks such buttholes? If Mr. Walsh did an air
and landed on a person and that person bit his arm and calf then he
or she would certainly be facing assault charges. Should we hold
sharks to a higher standard?
Fourth, seriously, what is the weirdest board you have ever
surfed?
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Conspiracy: Is the World Surf League
purposefully trying to bury the Mavericks contest?
By Chas Smith
The event window opens in 2 short months and yet
the permits, which take six long months, have not been applied
for.
Now that Teahupoo is over it is time for us to
turn our eyes from those gorgeous green folds, that turquoise
water, those reefs all the colors of the rainbow that we learned
from Joe Turpel is not a sign of health but rather a cry for help
and gaze upon the cold grey fog of California’s Bay Area. Upon
Mavericks herself.
And when was the last time you thought about Mavericks? To be
honest with you, it is fading from my memory just like Marty McFly
and his brother and sister were fading from his wallet picture when
he pushed his future father, George, away from an oncoming car,
altering the course of history and having Lorraine fall in love
with him instead of his future father.
The space-time continuum is very confusing but back to
Mavericks. The window for it to run opens in two short months and,
as you recall, under the World Surf League banner who rescued the
event from bankruptcy.
Yet the contest has not been held in three years and let’s turn
to a San Francisco news source where a possible conspiracy is
unfolding. Read with
me?
More drama continues to surround the world-famous Mavericks
surfing contest.
The window to hold the contest opens on November 1. But
there is also a window to get things done so the so-called Super
Bowl of surfing can even take place, including obtaining crucial
permits — and that window is just about shut.
Now officials realize while the WSL holds the contest
permit, it has not applied for all the other permits needed — a
process that usually takes six months.
“To start the permit process now is definitely late in the
game,” said Sabrina Brennan, San Mateo County Harbor Commission
president. “It’s going to be challenging to pull it off.”
Mavericks surfer Bianca Valenti on Wednesday told NBC Bay
Area she is worried.
“Each time we think we’re going to be getting the
opportunity, something seems to happen,” Valenti said. “So fingers
crossed that everything lines up and we have the best event
ever.”
Local officials said they have not hear(d) back from the WSL
about their concerns.
A few things. First, when has anyone called Mavericks “The Super
Bowl of Surfing?” I believe I’ve heard Pipeline described as such
and also The Eddie but never ever Mavericks. Have you?
Second, and more importantly, why hasn’t the World Surf League
applied for the permits? Was the “rescuing” of Mavericks simply a
move to disappear it from the earth forever? Is Jeff Clark behind
this, wanting to kick the wave back into obscurity so he can surf
it alone again? Last year, you recall, the WSL refused to run the
event, citing too many
big waves. It was, as noted at the time, the day of
the year.
What is the World Surf League trying to hide?
More as the story develops.
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Evaporated: What happened to the Andy Irons
Most Committed Performance Award at Teahupoo?
By Derek Rielly
"He was the people's champ! He's been fucked! Andy
Irons was one of the few real things left in surfing!" says legend
surfer-shaper.
A few hours ago, on the dreariest winter’s day
imaginable, my mood only barely elevated by a Foxtel connection to
Tahiti, I received a phone call from the swinging
surfer-shaper Maurice Cole.
In quick order, he told me of his recent health and emotional
travails, why Dirk Ziff has the will and the capacity to happily
lose, indefinitely, twenty mill a year on pro surfing (Maurice
explained that sports are a billionaires’ plaything and while some
are spending hundreds of mill each year to own a team, Ziff drops
pocket-change and owns a sport), that he was splitting
Torquay to live in a van near Bells and…
…what the fuck happened to the Andy Irons award at
Teahupoo?
The AI award has been given to the hardest charger at Teahupoo
every year since 2011.
Winners include Jeremy Flores, John John Florence, Ricardo
dos Santos, Owen Wright, CJ Hobgood and Kelly Slater, who won it in
2016, the last time he won a WCT event.
“Secretly I’ve really wanted this award for five years now,”
Kelly Slater said at the
time. “I was channeling Andy this week. I was thinking
about him a lot. He was a monster out here, he would just
man-handle barrels. The last heat I had with him out here was that
last year he won. I felt like I was part of that in some way. That
award is going to be front and center in my home. There is a lot of
emotions right now.”
Photo: WSL
Andy, of course, won the 2010 Teahupoo contest two months before
he was found dead in his hotel room at Dallas/Forth Worth
International airport.
In 2018?
No award.
Maurice is furious.
“Look at the comments,” he ordered, “They’re going fucking wild.
He was the people’s champ! He’s just been fucked! This is the
biggest fucking scandal I’ve seen today. Andy Irons was one of the
few real things left in surfing!”
What happened?
The WSL was contacted for a comment with no response although
Maurice assures me the great Nick Carroll, who has a sturdier
connection to the WSL than me, is on the case.
More tomoz.
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Jon Pyzel and Matt Biolos by
@theneedforshutterspeed/Step Bros