But the Panda deserved his hiding!
Podcasting is a high-wire act. There you are one moment riffing, jiving, chewing the fat about all manner of surf and surf lifestyle, there you are the next moment, saying something blatantly, patently untrue, besmirching the good name of a brave, young boy.
And that is exactly what David Lee and I did last week when we demanded that Yago Dora should, nay must, be shamed for being a coward at Teahupoo. For not paddling for a wave for 35 minutes in front of us all as we sat in front of our computers/phones and raged.
“How dare he!”
“How dare he!”
Well, David Lee and I let him have it last week but it’s a good thing that we’ve gone to a weekly format so we could apologize this week for being wrong and egregiously so. For those in Teahupoo’s channel, those who ride Teahupoo’s meaty folds, let David Lee know that Yago had been charging the entire two weeks and only miscalculated and mismanaged his heat. Willian “Panda” Cardosa deserved his piping hot bowlful of shame, they also said, but not Yago.
What utter assholes David Lee and I are. What complete jerks.
Anyhow, yesterday Derek Rielly joined us all the way from Bondi, Australia where spring has only just sprung. It is such a great pleasure when I get to see him. We laugh and laugh and surf and laugh and, yesterday, drove to the Surf Heritage and Culture Center where we shamed many other people, ideas and things on the air.
Highlights?
We talk about surf helmets, the ESPN body issue and the desire to see professional male surfers fully nude, possibly with their “shame sticks.” Did you know that a “shame stick” is an erection?
I didn’t.
Listen here!
or the beachgrit staff could hold a comp and see the skillset required to be an expert in this field of “surf journalism”?
Could you please tell David to stop saying “dude’!
I’m just here for the Metallica show
Butt fuk it
Mos well hit the pool party.
Please…
Approx three vodka and sodas each and a Hot Nife pre-rolled cigarette…
Did you talk about the ISA Games? You should have. I’ve been watching it and it’s worse than the B Grade division of a not very good club contest. Entire heats of people who can’t stand up! But I kind of like it. Why not have contests for people who can’t surf?
Are the Olympic Surfing Judges going to be selected from the ISA judges, or WSL CT/QS?
I don’t think anyone’s too sure about that yet. I’ve been asking around. Stay tuned
It was more of a middle aged who’s cooler than who shoot out.
ha ha you know what, it’d be fucken funny to have a CT style contest only with Beachgrit commenters.
We’d be surfing 3 times a day in prep, for fear of kook exposure.
Yes but then you’d be tired and get injuries and pull a collective JJF
I’ve pulled something just thinking about it.
I’m exposed as a kook every surf! Better than not surfing however.
Like some Annual Great Write Cull sponsored by Beach Grit?
Like some total fucken shitshow where everyone would be exposed as not understanding Priority and failing to catch the best wave of any given set.
This is Punk …?
“Sid Vicious began the age of participation in which everyone could be the artist. Sid proved that you don’t have to play well to be the star. You can play badly, or not even at all. I endorsed that attitude. If you can’t write songs, no problem – simply steal one and change it to your taste.”
— Malcolm Mclaren
just listened to Troy Aikman say about Eli Manning, “those are some of the things that we have seen on Eli’s 16 year career, just throw the ball out of bounds”.. criticism.. what is the WSL so afraid of.. jesus ..
That play by Eli was truly pathetic. Really.
Had hoped last year was his final, but nope.
Same with Brady … yawn
wait, can i take that upvote back… “brady”.. AB in the house. LOL
Just saw Ashton Goggins surfing small Chopes backhand with a fair bit of style
Seen Ashton in the water a few times in Hawaii and once in Cali. Dude can surf no doubt, but however his Floridian etiquette shines brighter than his back hand. Dude is non stop and blind to anyone else in the line up. But hey, gotta get your reps in right?
DLS has grown on me, but asking opinions on Flat Earthers was a waste and melted my shame stick.
You’re a flat sticker
Do you think BeachGrit is actually flat?
Ssshhh. Heretical thoughts.
I’ll listen to it later
oh yawn. absolute meh. After prolonged fantasies about a naked LeBron and muscle dicks, this gem from Reilly at 1:03 : “unless you’re a pro surfer you don’t need a quiver … generally one board will do”.
I really think men, in general, tend to use equipment as a cover for talent, in surfing, photography, golf and so on. The great enlightenment comes when you stare in the mirror and realise it don’t matter how many Pyzels or Leicas or (insert golf brand) clubs, y’buy, it’s how you swing ’em.
a Leica, judiciously handled, will always pull you a root though.
You know I like giving you grief DR but I really do get what you’re saying. I remember growing up as a kid being a broke puppy and trying to stroke my battered 6’10 Rawson into every wave I could at every spot in every size wave. I also recall well my hungover or tweaked poseur friends with 5 or more boards on their rack sleeping away epic sessions. I may have overcompensated a bit now that I’m older with a garage full of water toys and a collection of old boards under the house that I just can’t get bear to get rid of .
Hey.
There’s nothing in my heart.
I’d rather be cool than be smart.
Hey.
What I’m thinking of.
I’d rather be cool than be loved.
Here’s what I feel,
Ba ba ba ba.
Just want to be a guy
As cool as DR
PS :Looking forward to the live pirate commentary for the pool event. Avast ye scurvy dogs.. show your colors !
Derek’s American accent / impression of David Lee woo’ing the honeys with his quiver was excellent.
A infinitely wise man once said:
“ I’ll listen later.”
Worth it, Mr Bottom. I enjoyed this one. Good discussion on the ESPN Body Issue, especially.
I was so happy to see DR give Scales a kick in the nuts over not surfing over a cold.
“if you’ve got cancer you don’t surf, if you’ve got a cold you surf”.
hahahah
Shocking behaviour, I thought. It broadsided me.
true.
A line for the ages though.
Say, if you get a gig following Medina around, call me in to carry the notebooks, make the coffee. Make small talk with Simone etc etc
edit: I bet Jp Currie don’t surf when he has a runny nose.
I volunteer, too! I speak shitty Portuguese, so can do wildly inaccurate translations etc.
What sort of shit chum in the water is that?
I don’t recognise a cold as an ailment.
hahahhahah
My doctors have always told me it’s a great way to clean out your nasal passages
Yeah but…
There’s cold and there’s colds.
A sniffle – fine.
Down past yer neck- no no to anything strenuous.
The rebel CommonTour has to happen.
I feel like you guys know enough about YouTube to make it a thing. There is heaps of channels that have a live stream with comments and even callers. (DLS, Chas in LA) (Derek and… Nick?) in Sydney. Alternate ala the WSL, couple heats each. Read out live comments in the dead air.
It’ll probably be rough to start with, but that’s how shit starts!
The conditions are ever so ripe for something like this. Call-ins from listeners/fans would be amazing.
You and I can do the non-elimination round of 32 as no fucker gives a shit about it.
Bwahahaha – true !
The “seedening” I’m down!
this is brilliant. Different teams for different bits of the contest. “The Seedening” by NEGATRON and Waterproof Polo. “The Eliminees” by bex vidina and channelbottom. “Boring Round Three” by jen see and ScottSanDiego. “Get to the fucken quarters already” by Chazz Michael Michaels and surf ads. “The Dramatic Jizz-Laden Climax” by longtom, Chas Smith, and an eliminated pro with a chip on his shoulder, to be named later.
I can’t stand the sound of my own voice, and to fair, I don’t any of you could stand the sound of my voice either!