"Ten surfers put in $US100,000. Each. First come, first served. Let's see who, or what brand, really believes in their world championship ability. Volcom and Jack Robinson perhaps?"
Derek, Chas, Longtom and Jen See,
I have discovered the antidote to our discontent.
As BeachGrit so adamantly proclaims, we must free ourselves from the shackles of corporate perceptions in regards to professional surfing.
And I agree, Goddammit.
And I have discovered that all roads lead to Grajagan and Keramas.
In order to heal the pain a great many of us feel regarding the WSL’s hijacking and re-branding of the professional aspect of our sport as a soulless pansy fest, please consider the following:
I challenge any and all surfers on earth to compete in a new competition of my design which I call the:
The Global World Surfing Championship Cup
And bear in mind that I have already held three prototype experimental preliminary events. And I have proven the concept works. See the link below.
Dig this:
1. Ten surfers put in $US100,000. Each. First come, first served.
2. This will comprise the million dollar winner-take-all prize money. Let’s see who, or what brand, really believes in their world championship ability. Volcom and Jack Robinson perhaps?
3. The surfers will surf together all day, dawn to dusk, over two days. They can take breaks from the line-up whenever they wish.
4. They will surf one day at perfect Grajagan.
5. One day at perfect Keramas.
6. No heats, no horns, no jerseys, no judges, no fanfare, no bullshit.
7. There will be one experienced master surfing observer who will watch both day’s performances. There will be no points given or read. This master’s word will be enough at the end of the tournament.
8. At the end of the second day, based on his close observations of live surfing and replays, this master will proclaim the winner and the recipient of the Global World Surfing Championship Cup and the million-dollar first prize.
9. Sportsmanship in the line-up will be a considered factor.
10. This event is designed to be globally televised as a true representation of the unique and ancient spirit surfing combined with the best performances on earth.
11. This event will be globally televised with insightful commentary whose hallmarks will be honesty, integrity and experienced perspective.
12. This format is based on the ancient Polynesian surf competition format. So please, no comments that this competition would not have soul.
Please see the YouTube clip, below, as an example of just one of the experimental prototypes events that I have already held in Indonesia.
And imagine, if you are capable, of turning this experiment into the real deal.
I am open to any and all inquiries.
putting it perfectly ..
“In order to heal the pain a great many of us feel regarding the WSL’s
hijacking and re-branding of the professional aspect of our sport as a
soulless pansy fest, please consider the following:”
Longfin pike and snook
Force pike.
Pikachu are one of the most well-known varieties of Pokémon, largely because Pikachu is a central character in the Pokémon anime series.
ta
Okay I admit it, I’m confused. Is this supposed to be a joke?
The Global World Soul Surfing Championship Cup… the perfect name
We can revive Rasta, Donova Frakenroiter.. reiter, raiter… whatever… with his sensationals belly-carving and belly-ass cut back…
Finally May Son Ho and Bruh C. A. Rooms wiil have their chance!
Oh… and Day Ane Ray Nolds!
I can’t help losing this championship!
So we aren’t able to watch clips longer than 30 seconds but we are going to pay attention to two complete days of surfing..
Matt seems like a perfect fit for the Inertia.
They kinda did this in golf with the Tiger v Phil thing and it was unwatchable.
you obviously missed tiger getting phone numbers palmed to him by women in the crowd. like a smooth public drug deal, definitely not the first time he has done it.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Poker, but for surfing!
The end of this blog is near fellows. No more thoughtful stories, just a parade of shop worn cliches about sharks, quitting and how much we hate lemoore. The historic opponents of free speech representing the dead industry resurrect themselves as patrons of the audience pub now, one by one they return like zombies who cant locate their old paychecks, but in need of a pint of familiar company. And the bar keeps? Well, they’ll allow anything that builds their stats for the eventual sale to some entity that will return the medium to the hands of the lonely ad copy writers who know well how to satiate the corpo narrative.
This doesn’t seem like a typical hippy-rant. Too 2019, not enough 1969.
I wish they’d lose the VAL thing.
It’s fukin retarded.
Who gives a fuk.
Ha, the articles are just fodder for comments and as we return to the comment section constantly they get traffic. Isn’t that obvious? This whole thing could be a private forum. It’s not about thoughtful articles.
The article needs to kick us off though. I can’t comment if the article doesn’t pike my interest.
oh give me that gland. oooooh babeee
Having one “master observer” determine the outcome is a fuckwit idea. What if he needs to take a shit and misses Owen get the barrel of the day? The WSL’s judging system (5 man panel, highest and lowest scores dropped) actually makes a lot of sense, it’s just the judges themselves that have the issue.
the idea is solid just can’t be 1 person only.
I’d say 3, like in boxing.
no scoring every wave, just an ultimate – who won the day criteria.
i’d watch.
Have you ever watched the mum of an aspiring silver-spoon pro at a Junior event? They’ve proven time and time again that they are surfings infallible experts and demonstrated that a person does have the capability to sit, watch and critique for an entire day without stopping to eat or even piss.
In Aus there are signs next to the field of kids’ Auskick (litle league Aussie football) matches:
“These are children.
The umpires are volunteers.
This is not the AFL.”
This was deemed neccessary as verbal abuse and even fisticuffs between parents, and between parents and officials became increasingly out of control. Don’t move in the circles where I see wanna-be silverspoon pro’s at junior contests, but I presume similar things happen.
What a amazing idea!
A surfing contest with prize money.
Why hasn’t anyone thought of that before?
Who won?
Goofy,white board?
I’ve got a better one…a surfing version of Survivor (obviously called Surfivor!) 10 go into the jungle (grajagan) and instead of challenges they surf. The locals make the call on the winner each day who then gets immunity and then each night they all vote someone out…..it’s gold I tells ya!!!!!
…they all vote someone out who then goes to live in a tent a few miles inland and gets a chance to come back for another heat if they don’t get eaten by the local dangerous wildlife…
How about upgrading the title to: ‘The International Global World Surfing Championship Cup’?
Throw in planet, worldwide and pole-to-pole
I can already imagine the Brazzo backlash if the experienced master surfing observer is a white anglo-saxon and doesn’t select a Brazzo winner.
When did Matt George become an “our?” After the last pish rant isn’t he permanently banned from the lineup?
Exactly (and his brother)
Desperate fucks needing a spotlight they only shined on themselves.
Sam lacks the balls to use longtom’s name, while Matt acts like he and longtom are board caddies for one another.
Matt George, along with Sam Smith are now they. Not we, as in you and me, but they as in them. The Matt Georges and Sam Smiths of the world can’t be confined be the I’s, me’s or even we’s, but who are they to tell us what we, me and you, should think about them. Sam George is still him, he and his preferably title “it” guy, not themselves Matt Georges or Sam Smiths types. No, not them again.