Perversion: Great White sharks, long thought to be introverts, regularly meet with “friends” to feast on baby seals in carnal orgy!

"A grotesque version of a dinner party."

It seems as if every single day brings a new disturbing revelation as to the morals of the ocean’s most feared predator. We have long known Great White sharks are “man-eaters,” that they have no qualms with turning the ocean an ugly shade of blood red even when there are whale watchers present, that they sneak around scaring, biting, menacing and growing to a rotund 40-feet but what I learned today is simply a bridge too far.

A sort of amorality that we haven’t seen since Humbert Humbert was speeding across the country.

Great White sharks, it seems, are not only child predators but meet up with other likeminded Great White sharks to participate in a carnal bacchanal, feasting together on baby seals in a bloody orgy.

On land, we have a name for this. The National Man Boy Love Association. I don’t know what the sharks call their “friendly get togethers” but we must immediately learn for if we don’t our own baby seals may fall victim to their sickly charm. Come read with me and let us learn what Great Britain’s leading scientific journal has to say about this perversion.

Great white sharks, long considered savage solo predators, may have their own grotesque versions of dinner parties.

Scientists have tracked the oceanic beasts routinely meeting up in the same groups to feast on baby seals together.

And they say the sharks form ‘distinct communities’ and spend time with the same comrades more often than they would if the meetings were random.

The discovery, by researchers at Macquarie University in Australia, turns theories about the sharks’ social inclinations on their head, the team said.

They had been watching almost 300 great white sharks off the country’s southern coast for four-and-a-half years.

Returning to feed at a seal nursery in the Neptune Islands, off the coast of Adelaide, the sharks appeared to meet up with purpose.

In the past the gatherings had been assumed to be random and simply a result of all the sharks going where they could find the most food.

And I simply cannot read anymore just like I couldn’t finish watching the film Call my by your Name.

Disgusting.

Absolutely disgusting.

Artist rendering of a great white shark tenderizing a baby seal.
Artist Rendering Of A Great White Shark Tenderizing A Baby Seal.

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HotRightNow
HotRightNow
6 years ago

Yeah, sharks are creeps.

But wouldn’t you rather hear a nice wsl sanctioned story about this swan dropping in?

https://www.instagram.com/p…

Oops, forgot about competing wave tub technology and all… wsl has no right to this lovely story, do they?

@surfads
@surfads
6 years ago

I’m beginning to see that, like Nabokov’s H.H., the sharks are an existential metaphor. A representation of old world carnal desire wrecking havoc on the soft, puffed underbelly of contemporary society.

But am I the shark, or the baby seal?

?uzzled
?uzzled
6 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

Fuuuck, my mind is blown.

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
6 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

Between you and Eddie Haiku, the comments section has become fascinatingly metaphysical of late.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

If you become one with the universe then you will be both ……

ricmatic
ricmatic
6 years ago

I have a lot of shark friends and none of them are peadophile saddists. This is simply a racist attack against a few bad apple cunt sharks.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

Better Bad Apples than Bad Habits ?
Habits
a long, loose garment worn by a member of a religious order.
“nuns in long brown habits, black veils, and sandals”

Magnum
Magnum
6 years ago

I had a classmate in college that was a Carmelite nun. Sister Marie. I had a habit of noticing the taut, sumptuous curves she failed at concealing under her habit.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  Magnum

Could she fly like an Angel like Sally Fields in the Flying Nun or sing like Sister ( novice ) Maria in the Sound of Music …. ?

Magnum
Magnum
6 years ago

She had a lovely, lilting voice for reading Milton and Chaucer is what I recall.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  Magnum

A real Canterbury Tale Girl ! I hope her Paradise is not lost ?

Magnum
Magnum
6 years ago

If it takes 30 days to acquire a habit, how long does it take to lose one? My hope is that she has left the Inferno and through influence of the Puritan Poet, her Paradise has been Regained

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  Magnum

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.“

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago

I thought the bloke with the big Gummy Smile ( remember when you smile to show only the pearly whites and not your pinky gums …..oooh how awful ! ) was supposed to be ELo ? ………I think I need a drink !

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago

There are more on land in ever increasing numbers …..

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago

No, you’re Vimy!

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago

The biter gets bitten !
Hammer the Hammer(head) …….
https://youtu.be/pelF5JNtpUY

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
6 years ago

ELo must become
The key protagonist at
This dinner party

ricmatic
ricmatic
6 years ago
Reply to  Eddie Haiku

Elo’s Colonel Mustard! And he killed surfing with a candlestick in the conservatory!

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
6 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

Surf will kill itself
Just as Pop once ate itself
We all kill to eat

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

I have no Clue (do) what this is all about ?

ricmatic
ricmatic
6 years ago

Just found a picture of Elo not SUPing

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

The Great White Supper .

astro
astro
6 years ago

Artist rendering – hahahahahar
Caption/Pic oty!

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
6 years ago

Even cunts have friends.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago

Maybe it’s the annual Union meeting and the bacchanalia afterwards is just a peer pressured extravaganza of mayhem fueled by one-upmanshark.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago

Sounds fishy


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