Phalanx of Great White sharks invade entire U.S. eastern seaboard nearly overwhelming shark tracking systems!

Hal, Murdoch, Cabot, etc. all on the march!

As you well know, I am currently becoming enlightened in Nicaragua, becoming one, but I still make time for the important things like debunking Laird Hamilton’s pseudo-science (story later on how icing and ice-baths cause more injuries) and sounding the alarm bell as it relates to our current shark apocalypse.

Oh, it is just getting worse and worse and worse.

We are, theoretically, out of “shark season” but the Great White is on the march, pressing his advantage and an entire phalanx moved into the United States’ eastern seaboard nearly overwhelming shark tracking devices but don’t take my word for it. Let us go to once proud Newsweek and learn of the unfolding drama.

Shark trackers on the East Coast have gone into overdrive following the sudden arrival of eight great whites over the weekend.

“Check out how crazy the Tracker went over the weekend with white shark pings,” said OCEARCH, a marine conservation nonprofit, in a Facebook post published Monday.

“Eight sharks tagged during three separate expeditions all sent back pings stretching from Nantucket to Florida.”

Hal—a 12-foot, 6-inch male weighing 1,420 pounds—was last spotted near Long Island, New York. Murdoch—a 14-foot, 10-inch male weighing 1,325 whose name means “of the sea” in Gaelic—patrols the coast near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

But it was North Carolina that took “the award for most white shark pings” over the last week, said OCEARCH—”with 5 sharks popping up off the coast there.”

The five sharks include Cabot—a 9-foot, 8-inch male weighing 533 pounds—who was last tracked entering Albemarle Sound, a large estuary in North Carolina, last week.

Is eight a phalanx?

I think yes. I also think it is not a good day to surf anywhere from Nantucket to Florida. I think, in fact, if you are thinking about taking up the Pastime of Kings it would be wise to wait until this current phase of the apocalypse is over.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
72 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
Nick Richon
Nick Richon
6 years ago

8 seems like a legit phalanx…. marching in grim unison to fuck up my weekend.

ALI CAT
ALI CAT
6 years ago

The continental shelf extends for miles offshore Tampa Bay. This is where the Great Whites have usually been found, not inshore near the beaches.

Michael Cornelius
Michael Cornelius
6 years ago

On the eighth day of Christmas the ocean gave to me. Eight sharks a swimming.

Greg Miletti
Greg Miletti
6 years ago

You’re going to need a bigger boat!….

Abs abs
Abs abs
6 years ago

I’m sorry it’s this a joke? 5 sharks on pretty much the whole east coast of amricunt and you are releasing a press report??? I’m sorry I’m thinking this is an onion news report. Please someone tell me these mongs ain’t that Ret ard ed

Paul H
Paul H
6 years ago

Boston sucks

Shamus Beaglehole
Shamus Beaglehole
6 years ago

the great whites do this every year. they are snowbirds.

Shamus Beaglehole
Shamus Beaglehole
6 years ago

Pennsylvania is coastal? are they talking about lake eerie?

David Smith
David Smith
6 years ago

The sharks are at home … humans are there home invaiders

David Smith
David Smith
6 years ago

A shark can only attack you if your wet

Heysoos
Heysoos
6 years ago

sorry to be serious for a second but…. I was talking to a fisheries department guy last year at gracetown (world wide home of white shark attacks) and he estimated fisheries has only tagged 10% of the great white population in Western Australia. that means for every shark detected there will be nine that’re not.

PerthsStraighthanders
PerthsStraighthanders
6 years ago
Reply to  Heysoos

…or a phalanx plus one that’s not

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  Heysoos

There seems to have been a lot of incredibly important decisions made concerning laws safeguarding endangered shark species based on very limited data . Please note . I don’t want to see these sharks go the way of the Tasmanian Tiger or the Dodo .

Nick_Fury
Nick_Fury
6 years ago

It’s all coming back again. They are going to visit the good people of Amityville.

Shampoo Poo
Shampoo Poo
6 years ago

“Phalanx”

I learned a new word today.

Thanks Chad.

PerthsStraighthanders
PerthsStraighthanders
6 years ago
Reply to  Shampoo Poo

Chas is a Shark Phalanxthropist

Big M
Big M
6 years ago

This is why SUP’s will rule the surf one day. It’s going to be a blood bath.

Walker Rossi
Walker Rossi
6 years ago

Really? There is no invasion. Great white sharks are simply migrating toward ⁸warm waters. Come spring/summer they will migrate north. The media just loves to try and traumatize their readers.

Otto
Otto
6 years ago
Reply to  Walker Rossi

Great White Sharks don’t migrate just because of warm waters. Warm waters means more surfers which means more attacks which means more surf journalists posting which means more postings about great white shark attacks which means more trauma.
It’s a vicious cycle.

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago
Reply to  Otto

When will someone cover the rise of vicious surf journalist attacks?

I’ve just had large bites to my psyche. Bites in the shape of idealised holidays.

Party Pete
Party Pete
6 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

They’re life is better than mine.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  Party Pete

The Sharks or The Surfing Journalists?

Party Pete
Party Pete
6 years ago

Surf journalist as star initially, but maybe shark too. They both know how to enjoy their downtime and each both rich beyond comprehension in the means of living the good life along with some intangible understanding of all things seen and unseen.

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago
Reply to  Party Pete

And biting huge chunks outta things. They understand that too.

Party Pete
Party Pete
6 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

They both do.

PerthsStraighthanders
PerthsStraighthanders
6 years ago
Reply to  Walker Rossi

Seems these pesky creatures are invading the oceans worldwide. We either need to keep everyone out of the water or a giant cull.

Superworm
Superworm
6 years ago

Whoa 1400 lbs… That’s the mass of 7 very large men. Jeebus

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
6 years ago
Reply to  Superworm

5 and a half

c4
c4
6 years ago

Raining blood!, severed limbs! maybe Rachel Ray can offer them some sun tea.

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago
Reply to  c4

Didn’t Cher do a pop song about that?

c4
c4
6 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

It was the name of her television Christmas special.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Not sure about Cher. But Slayer defo done did.

@surfads
@surfads
6 years ago

Roman fighting units were made up of eight men – a centurion actually only had eighty men in his command.

Sounds to me like the east coast is under siege from Roman sharks.

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

They do have big noses, so…

@surfads
@surfads
6 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Who are you calling big nose?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Ro’ming all over there face ….

Shampoo Poo
Shampoo Poo
6 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

Only 80 men?

Antonio Martins
Antonio Martins
6 years ago
Reply to  Shampoo Poo

8 not 80

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago

“ Here’s to dear old Boston, The home of the bean and the cod, Where Lowells speak only to Cabots, And Cabots speak only to God.”….
Great White Privileged Cabot Shark. Do do so do do do do ….

SSD
SSD
6 years ago

Don’t forgot that crazy guy Nathaniel Hawthorne and his seven gabled house! If you’re ever in Salem, visit the House and the Peabody Essex Museum. Major Magleashes if you need a stiff cocktail after or before.

Mild mannered civil servant
Mild mannered civil servant
6 years ago

Looking at those dimensions, what one would be the high performance great white shark? And do you think a 14-foot, 10-inch shark would go well at my local spot?

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
6 years ago

I am sure if would go like a rocket , though it may be difficult to paddle and control ….

Mild mannered civil servant
Mild mannered civil servant
6 years ago

So pretty much similar to 90 per cent of my local line up.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago

Meth is a hell of a drug.

Mild mannered civil servant
Mild mannered civil servant
6 years ago

As is the obliviousness of the common VAL and EI around these parts.

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
6 years ago

little bit of tobacco on the finger and smear it on the date. does mad things to greyhounds.


72
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x