Source: Tommy Pierucki/Pineapple Sunrise
Source: Tommy Pierucki/Pineapple Sunrise

Unsatisfying: Man proposes to girlfriend while surfing in Hawaii, loses ring on wave thereby flushing three-months of salary!

A diamond is for... oops!

Surfing has been employed in the service of so many things, yoga, extreme dog-walking, the janitorial arts, etc. and so it comes as no surprise when it is employed to ask a beautiful partner to enter into the bonds of a lifelong, committed relationship.

Marriage!

People have asked people other people into holy matrimony whilst riding, I always assume, longboards for many years. Most recently we have Chris Garth who asked his lovely gal Lauren Oiye to be his lawfully wedded wife at Queens just off Waikiki beach and let’s head to Hawaii News Now for the rest of the happy details. Let’s not forget to grab some tissues first in case we tear up a little.

Chris Garth and Lauren Oiye met at this surf spot years ago. It was only fitting he decided to propose to her here. As Chris knelt down, pulled out a ring, and popped the question, several photographers were nearby to capture the moment. Lauren said yes. And then Chris lost the ring. He thought that might happen, so luckily he used a spare while they were out in the water.

The real ring was waiting on shore.

What?

What the hell?

The real ring was on the shore? Now I feel completely and utterly ripped off. I do believe a man is supposed to spend three months of his salary on an engagement ring, no? Imagine the thrill of those heavy consequences. The unparalleled rush. I’d have to think it’d feel something like paddling over the ledge of Peahi (Jaws) all clench-jaw’d, pumping with adrenaline, life and/or three-months of doctor bills on the line.

To leave the real ring on shore seems… so unsatisfying and I do hope Lauren Oiye did not praise Chris Garth’s elevated sense of liability hedging but rather cursed his lack of fighting spirit.

But real quick, what is the best thing you’ve ever done on a surfboard (air-reverse excluded)?

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David Mata
David Mata
6 years ago

Was this article written by DeBeers? She should be happy he showed up.

Sam George’s Hair
Sam George’s Hair
6 years ago

Surfing Cottons Point i ran into a guy that bullied me as a grom. Hadn’t seen the dude in 20 years and it instantly triggered me. Me being normal sized at 6’4” and 250 lbs and my bully being a little person at maybe 5‘6” and 150 lbs I made him paddle in and run back to San Clemente, and yes he ran all the way back to San Clemente State Park. The only thing he said to me in my Triggered state was “I bullied you?” That grom you bully today might put the smack down on you in 20 years.

itsallrelative
itsallrelative
6 years ago
injury
injury
6 years ago

best on a surfboard – had some great nude surfs over the world. problem is it’s so exhilarating i get blood and need to go to shore and have a hand party before relaxing into it. here’s a photo from mex like 10yrs ago, enjoy…
(alejandra you out there reading? wink)

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

DavidC
DavidC
6 years ago

At least he got down on one knee – welcome to the club!

Toin coss
Toin coss
6 years ago

Lost my wedding ring on a wipeout, just blew right off my sausage finger. It was a biggish day and a photog actually caught the ride, frame by frame you see the ring and then it was gone when I emerged from the thrashing.

Johnny Utah
Johnny Utah
6 years ago

His marriage will be just like any other beach break. 50/50 shot it’s a close out.

Shampoo Poo
Shampoo Poo
6 years ago

The best thing I’ve ever done on a surfboard is post on BG from my Vissla “End Times” wetsuit while bogging 2-3 Steamers Lane.

PerthsStraighthanders
PerthsStraighthanders
6 years ago

Jeez. This guy related to Elo?

Menehune Champ
Menehune Champ
6 years ago

got some chicks

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
6 years ago

sure you could find a way to wedge a great white in the story somewhere. up your game ya skinny bitch

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago

Simon Anderson dropped in on me at Narrabeen and I got to surf behind him for about 50m. He said sorry too. Might have been sarcastic but I was happy as.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago

I got TC,d at narra
It was kinda cool but not really.

Greenroom Times
Greenroom Times
6 years ago

Welcome to the club, it has thousands of members.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago

Sure, but who hasn’t been TC’d anywhere from Noosa to Bells?

kooksRus
kooksRus
6 years ago

Nice way to make a non story into an article

Jsamuels
Jsamuels
6 years ago

Chas how are you not all over Stab’s “The Pick Up”

The commentators have been skewering Goggans and he’s deleting comments as fast as he possibly can. And now people are just commenting about the deletion of comments. This is perfect fodder for a story.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago
Reply to  Jsamuels

I saw this last night and lasted about 30 seconds before sketching out. When a French lady in shorts can’t hold your attention* for more than 30 seconds there’s a bigger issue than an all-yellow set.

*I once fell in love with a French lady because the way she said “shocolaite Eeaster bunneez” was, and still is, the sexiest thing I have ever heard.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago

I think she’s tre sexy!!
You blew it jenjen

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago

Fukin hell
Miggy poops is gonna qualify again for next year.
Guys fuken persistent!.

OffRocker
OffRocker
6 years ago

Jadson got some competition for The BG Sponsorship Deal of 2 air fresheners and a tailpad.

Stephen Wolfram
Stephen Wolfram
6 years ago

I dropped in on Tony Moniz at 7th Hole, got covered up, turned off the shoulder, didn’t get punched in the face, like I should have.

Eddie Haiku
Eddie Haiku
6 years ago

I did a killer
Wax job on my surfboard once
Sooo smooth and even

Erik Bogan
Erik Bogan
6 years ago

Almost as cringey as Stabs new tv show with Ashton Goggans hosting. His been deleting all the comments that hurt his feelings as well

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
6 years ago

I feel like the ‘take a knee’ for the proposal was taken too literally. That’s my main critique of his steeze here, I mean he’s proposing on a board, he should be standing as opposed to drop kneeing yeah? Best thing I’ve ever done on a board.. every made turn is right up there!

GBP
GBP
6 years ago

Masturbate.
I was in a wetsuit and it wasn’t easy, but by jove I finished the job.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
6 years ago
Reply to  GBP

#metoo

had a wank on a surfboard. there I’ve said it.

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Ya sicko! You and Griffin doing such horrific things in our sacred ocean.


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