A peek behind the curtain!
The New York Times is one of the most well-respected journalistic institutions in the entire world. That sometimes beautiful, sometimes cruel, always gimlet eye’d Gray Lady has published too many important, life-impacting stories over the last century to even count and so when she bends down and whispers of our surf, I listed with bated breath.
Just yesterday, live from Oahu’s North Shore, an important New York Times journalist sat down with John John Florence to discuss many things, including coming into the Pipeline Masters with a potential trip to the 2020 Tokyo Olympics on the line with Kelly Slater, the greatest of all-time, the greatest to ever do it, possibly making his own Olympic push and let’s dip into the middle of the piece.
Florence, 27, has stared at and surfed this stretch of Sunset Beach all of his life. The house where he grew up is directly in front of Pipeline. His mother still lives over there, and Kelly Slater, the 47-year-old, 11-time world champion — a mentor, friend and rival to Florence — lives next door to her. Florence can walk there in just a couple of minutes.
Growing up looking at Pipeline, then surfing it, Florence’s favorite pro surfer was Slater, a seven-time champion of the Pipe Masters event. He used to watch Slater surf that break in the winter. He wanted to be Slater. Then Slater moved in. His hero became a neighbor. It took Florence years on tour to get used to competing against him.
“We had this cat at my mom’s house that kind of lived between the houses,” Florence said, choosing a story from a couple of years ago to illustrate their relationship. “And one day he called me and said — the cat’s name was Kitty — he said: ‘Kitty’s dead. I found Kitty under the house.’ He came over and helped us bury him, and he said a few words for the cat.”
What?
Kitty?
This parable seems extremely vital but what does it signify?
What does it mean?
The cat named Kitty is symbolic but symbolic of what?
The World Surf League?
Professional surfing in general?
Something more prosaic?
Help!
Kelly killed the cat…
The New York Times = imperialist propaganda
after the cat burial, Slater just banged mom Florence while she screamed meaowwwwwww
I’ve heard many stories of him sharing pussy.
Cheers and Aloha to both—Kelly and John— Surfers of the Highest Order.
BTW, the NewYorkTimes is the #1 Newspaper of Record, #1 Promoter of
Perpetual War in the Middle East and where-ever they are told to champion
evil with lies, bs and propaganda.
A Kitty is a Pussy. This Pussy belonged to JJFs mother. Sometimes JJ’s mother’s Pussy would visit KS’s house. Kelly is JJF’s father, everybody knows it.
It’s all CIA Deep Ultra Da Vinci Code code code. Epstein’s clone is supposed to read it while setting up the nazi wormhole on the dark side of the second moon, which is hidden UNDER the flat disc of the Earth.
SSSSHHHHH!!!
Kelly looks to have a limp handshake. Weird.
Slater really will do anything to get inside someone’s head. Sick cunt.
Imagine him finding the dead cat and seeing the opportunity! “Ha ha! this is going to fuck him up for years”
“Finding” the dead cat….
10-15 years later, prior to paddling out:
“Good to see you John, still think about Kitty every day… don’t you??”
He probably killed the cat himself anyway…
The cat is a metaphor for Kelly’s future world title hopes
Dead Cat Bounce?
Hoping for one next year!
Surf off needed. JJF vs Ke11y right meow.
Kitty is a red herring and only mentioned to distract from what needs to happen. There needs be a mano a mano zero priority grueling match set up for these guys. They’re both Olympic quality and the short biographies have already been scripted, filmed, and edited.
Where’s Benji Weatherly in all this? What’s he know? Seems more like a dog guy.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
According to the NY Times, Kolohe has kicked ass this season: “the Californian Kolohe Andino has clinched an Olympics spot with his stellar season on the W.S.L. tour, where he is fifth.” Does this call into doubt the legitimacy of one Mr. John Branch, or Kolohe haters on BG?
Wake me up when Kelly gogos.
Wham ! Caution Bex ,he may hear your careless whispers …..
Carless, Bicko! Outerknown E-bikes soon come.
Might be time to migrate south, with the birds before , the E-bikes run rampant !
let the son go down on him
Bugger it , Let’s go outside ….
He’s more likely to hear the grunts from the next cubicle. Ooops, sorry, that was George.
Is there any event, celebratory or somber, that is not infinitely enhanced by the GOAT saying a few words? You know like say, Jesus, whose stature may even approach his.
Not since 2012 A.D
14/12/12 Parko . My wedding day ends Slater’s Run
14/12/13 Fanning . My 1st wedding anniversary puts the nail in Slater’s coffin…..
Blind Larry could see what happened here.
KS saw that JJ was a threat to the crown early.
He knew JJ was attached to the cat.
Cat met an early demise.
JJ would hold onto this kick in the guts into his late 20’s(27) Where he would vent to a NYT reporter how it still is fresh in his mind.
The KS plan may not have come to complete fruition, but the seed was certainly planted.
All this talk of getting old
It’s getting me down my love
Like a cat in a bag, waiting to drown
This time I’m comin’ down…..
They had some good moments, aye.
Thanks Tim , I will go to bed tonight less uninformed than I was when I woke up .
If it were from ConservativeOuthouse.com would that have made a difference?
I don’t imagine them conservative folk using outhouses except maybe during the fox hunt .
Jeez Tim , I spent my youth browsing the articles in Playboy and Penthouse but , fuck , no one told me that the New York Times likes Pussies ! Why was this kept a secret ?
Emanating from the eminent New Amsterdam Times , or is it now York in the former British Colony …… anyway it is possible that Kitty is a diminutive of Kitty Litterature ?