Very scary.
Oh I hope you are not in Maui right now nor anywhere near for a “very aggressive” Tiger shark, measuring twelve-feet, has a taste for man in its mouth but was left completely unsatisfied when trying to eat one. And what would you do if you were over two football fields in length away from the shoreline there on an inflatable stand-up paddle board?
Much suspension of disbelief already, I know, but then what if you felt the air going out of your vessel, turned around and saw a massive beast with its teeth stuck right in, inhaling compressed air and poor lifestyle choices?
It would be terrifying, the thought of being eaten whilst riding an inflatable SUP, no? And let us learn what happened just yesterday to Larry Oberto of Seattle and Maui. Let us keep our fingers crossed, hoping beyond hope that everything turned out ok.
State officials say a 10-12-foot-long Tiger shark deflated an inflatable stand-up paddle board about 200 yards off shore from 1681 Halama Street in Kīhei on Maui on Tuesday morning, Dec. 3.
The man aboard the inflatable at the time, was in the ocean with a group of other paddlers when the shark bit the back of his inflatable.
57-year-old Larry Oberto of Maui and Seattle, said the shark bit the back of his inflatable which immediately deflated. Another paddler, identified by Oberto as AJ Gaston was nearby on a board so he saw swam over to him and got on his board, according to DLNR reports.
The paddle boarders say the shark was “acting very aggressively” and pursued them to shore, according to information compiled by the state Department of Land and Natural Resources.
So Larry Oberto had to ride nuts-to-butts on another man’s inflatable stand-up paddle board while an overly-furious beast chased them all the way to shore?
The indignity is only more horrifying that actually getting eaten and ending that string of poor lifestyle choices.
Again, if you are in Maui, or anywhere near including but not limited to Oahu, Kauai, California, the best thing to do is stay out of the water for at least six-months.
More as the story develops
Riddle: What do you call it When a Shark eats a SUP paddler?
Answer:
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A good start
I know larry of “Seattle and Maui” just escaped death or the loss of a limb, but . . . my goodness, what a kook. It seems this shark has a sense of humor, as it appears it was just messing around with larry and the other kooks, i.e., he/she-shark nibbled the SUP and not Larry, and it also didnt stage a second fake attack on larry and his butt buddy as they paddled in. I like this shark and I wouldn’t be incensed if it visited more Hawaiian locales, nibbling kook-crafts and nudging more “Larrys from wherever the fuck” back to shore.
The shark should be fired.
Wood Fire Pizza Shark do do do do do do ….
yeah… because he did not get the job done, Right?
Wish that biting SUPs was a trainable behavior
“Nuts-to-butts” is no way to end a session generally speaking….. Can we use different characters for this LARPing adventure?
LARPing features beautifully in next book!
And in breaking news
Shark goes hungry and swims home
Feeling deflated
It is lonely at the top ……. of the food chain .
It couldn’t even bite through a SUP! This was a Pathetic Shark.
Like an old queen at Mardi Gras.
A gummy.
http://viz.co.uk/category/p…
Most SUPs are full of hot air. Boom tish. I’m here til Wednesday, try the humble pie.