Gimme dem feet.
Gimme dem feet.

Horrifying: Universally accepted “world’s sexiest explorer” nearly eaten by Great Whites as shark-shaped mini-submarine malfunctions!

We live in incredibly harrowing times.

I’m going to be honest with you here. When I read the headline “world’s sexiest explorer” I was expecting a lot more. A whole lot more. I don’t know what, exactly, but… more. Cascading blonde hair? A come-hither stare? Peter O’Toole playing T.E. Lawrence? Yes, and nothing against Fabien Costeau at all. His father, Jacques, obviously a legend in sexy exploration but…

…I don’t know. World’s sexiest explorer?

I’ll let you be the judge.


First impressions?

Let’s not get needlessly hung up. Let’s continue learning about how the, arguably, world’s sexiest explorer was nearly eaten by vicious, woke Great Whites and let’s then celebrate his overcoming incredible odds.

Fabien Cousteau, dubbed the “world’s sexiest explorer”, has revealed how he risked attack whilst swimming with dangerous great white sharks after his underwater submarine broke down.

This forced the Frenchman to swim to shore entirely unprotected in an area heavily populated by sharks. The incident took place during the filming of ‘Shark: Mind of a Demon’, a documentary for CBS, in 2004.

To get close to the apex predators Mr Cousteau used a mini submarine, shaped like a shark, called Troy.

However he was exposed to danger after it stopped working and the explorer was forced to swim to shore through shark infested waters in the dark.


Of course Fabien survives and later delivers a stirring TED talk on the harrowing encounter but…


The world’s sexiest explorer?

I’m having a hard time here and wipe that smirk off your face. What I meant is that I’m having a difficult time here.

Who, in your opinion, is the world’s sexiest explorer?

I have been places in Yemen that no white man has ever trod just FYI.

More as the story develops.

Also, today is not a good day to surf. Maybe stay out of the water for at least one week. Many sharks.

Many, many sharks.

Comment Live: Seeding rounds etc. Lululemon Maui Pro/Vans Triple Crown of Sunset!

Much on the line!

The extended Thanksgiving weekend, in America, starting Wednesday night and extending through Sunday late is the sportingest time of the year with almost too much action, from college football to the pros, college basketball to the pros, and professional surfing.

Right now the women are in unruly Honolua Bay with much on the line.

World titles, Olympic berths, etc.

The swell is set to build through the day. “Pretty sizey fashion” according to Ron Blakey. Barton Lynch is currently advising the meditation in order to keep emotions in check.

Also, the men have just kicked off in burgeoning Sunset.

What does that mean?

I don’t know.

But shall we watch together and chat?

Who do you have?

What are your hopes?

Click here!

And here (for Sunset)!

"These sixteen hours have been some of the most blissful of my life..."
"These sixteen hours have been some of the most blissful of my life..."

Miracle: Surfer swept out to sea in New Jersey, leading to scramble of multiple Coast Guard units, found safe in bed sixteen hours later!

An ode to joy!

And I use the word “surfer” broadly, here, as in “kite surfer” but, honestly, feel that strange bunch of oddities is nearer and dearer to the surfer heart than stand-up paddleboarders, goat boaters, foilers and whatever it is that World Surf League President of Content, Media, Storytelling and Transformation Erik “ELo” Logan is straddling.

In my experience, the kite surfer only unfurls her wares when the lineup has become an unruly wind-wipped mess. And then he provides much entertainment with his jumps and loops, bobs and weaves.

Well, one of these “brethren” got swept out to sea over the weekend and let us read of his harrowing tale from the pages of CNN. Let us push our morning slice of leftover rhubarb pie to the side and really dig in here.

Two helicopters, two rescue boats and members of a local police force all jumped into action after a kite surfer was seen drifting out to sea on Thanksgiving near Ocean City, New Jersey.

Turns out, all it took to find the guy was a phone call.

Some 16 hours after three US Coast Guard stations began deploying crews in response to a 911 call about a black-clad surfer getting pushed out by waves, the missing person “called and reported themselves to be safe,” officials of the branch’s 5th District Mid-Atlantic region said Friday.

“The missing kite surfer contacted (Coast Guard) watchstanders to inform them that after his kite malfunctioned, he had cut it free and used the board to paddle ashore and return home,” they said in a news release.

“Kite surfer located!” the Ocean City Police Department posted late Friday on Facebook. “Unaware of rescue efforts, he went about his Thanksgiving.”
Coast Guard and police officials did not release the name of the kite surfer.

Search parties had found a black and white “Ocean Rodeo Cypher 10” kite in the water but did not find the board or missing surfer, the Ocean City Police Department said.

“Cases like this … illustrate the importance of labeling your kayaks, canoes, kite boards and other recreational marine vehicles, so that in the event they are lost, or you are missing, we can reach out to contact you or return it,” said Coast Guard Petty Officer 1st Class Alex Castonguay, a watchstander at the Sector Delaware Bay command center.

What a happy ending and while CNN’s reportage does not state the unnamed kite surfer was discovered in his bed I must assume he was because of all that turkey and rhubarb pie etc. Much tryptophan.

Now, a few questions for you.

Will you label your surfboard with your name, phone number and address? I think it might be a good idea. I think you should ask your shaper to glass all of that important information right on.

And what is your favorite sort of pie?

I’m a rhubarb man through and through but where do you dip your fork?

Luis Lacalle Pou, Uruguay's new prez, and the first surfer elected to the highest office, anywhere, ever. A slick extortionist? A shadowy flunky? Or happy water dancer? This, we'll see.

Bitchin: Uruguay elects “rebellious” surfer as president!

Are surfers really the best people? Uruguay experiments with shredder as prez.

For the first time, anywhere, a surfer, not a VAL, not a SUPer or a bodysurfer, has been elected to a country’s highest office, in this case president of Uruguay.

Luis Lacalle Pou, who is forty-six, learned to surf on a trip to Florianopolis, Brazil, when he was twelve, and grew up vacationing in La Barra de Maldonado, a resort town with a pretty little inlet that delivers some of the better waves in Uruguay.

Does he shred?

When Luis finished his law degree in ’98 he stole off to Hawaii, California and Costa Rica, and has hit Indo, Brazil, El Salvador, Nicaragua, California, Mexico and Panama.

Slick Luis!

When he was asked where else he wanted to surf he said, “Everywhere. I want to live three more lives.”

If you’re wondering which side of the divide he swings, Luis is centre-right, tighten spending, more cops, but says he’ll deliver austerity measures to bring down the cost of living.

His opponent, Daniel Martinez, a sixty-two-year-old cycling enthusiast, represented the  and centre-left wing of the Broad Front, which is a coalition of social democrats, communists, Christian democrats and former guerrilla members.

Are surfers the best sort of people, as is often suggested in that hoary old chestnut that if the world surfed there’d be no war etc?

Does the water dance, gasping for breath after a two-wave holdown and duck-dive an angel make?

More, as they say, as the story develops.

Revealed: Female Great White, Tiger and Bull sharks are getting “woke” at an increasingly alarming rate!

Male surfers beware.

And the things you can learn from a TED X talk. But of course you know TED, the Technology/Education/Design speaking series where “famous” people are encouraged onstage to hear themselves jabber in front of others, paying top dollar, and also the TED X edition where un-famous people do the same exact thing except in front of less others and for, I assume, top-ish dollar.

A modern marvel that has taught me art can change the world, school kills creativity, in order to embrace “the other” I must be able to embrace myself and that the female portion of the shark community is getting “woke” at an increasingly alarming rate.

Execpt what do I mean by “woke?”

I mean aware that damned men, cursed men, are the very root of their problems exactly like they are of the world’s problems and especially great, white men.

Don’t believe?

Nasty apex predator but also watch here.

And while I agree and understand each and every one of Melissa Marquez’s points, praise her for that narcissistic bravery, I’m very worried that she is merely throwing gasoline on an already raging fire.

For if anything, we’ve learned here that sharks, Great White, Tiger and Bull, mostly only eat men, with obviously good reason, but this new wokeness will only lead to an increase in attacks. A substantial, deserved, limb/head/torso chomping.


Certainly yes.

Obviously well-deserved but if you happen to be a male surfer it is well advised to stay out of the water for at least one year.

Maybe two.

More as the story develops.