Very un-PC. Extremely not equal-opportunity.
And I am absolutely certain you’ve been following along with this Summer of Great White Sharks that is mercifully drawing to a close. In case you’ve been away, a quick recap. Numerous Great Whites moved in to my once placid North County, San Diego Shangri-La in June and turned it into a vicious, fear-stricken Hades. Across the country, in Cape Cod, these same Great Whites multiplied like Mormons and started nipping folk, causing mass panic. A call went up from town halls to Fenway Park to club baby seals in response. Where did they come from? Likely Cape Town, South Africa which lost all of its Great Whites thereby cratering local “shark diving” operations.
Well, according to science the Summer of Great White Sharks is actually only the appetizer for Great Whites, and other sharks, favorite season for man-eating is actually the Fall. What is more, Great Whites, and other sharks, prefer surfers to all other ocean hobbyists, and most prefer male surfers. Even our most set-in-their-ways grandparents know to keep that sort of sexism to themselves but that’s partially why sharks are so nasty.
Per the respected scientific journal Daily Star:
Statistically, September is the most dangerous month for shark attacks.
More people are bitten by sharks in the waters around the the Florida coast than anywhere else in the world. Since 1882, 827 unprovoked attacks have been recorded in the Sunshine State.
But sharks are not equal-opportunity attackers. Historically, 93% of shark attacks have been on men. And, in particular, surfers. Around half of the people bitten in any one year will be surfers.
Statistically, the most likely time to be bitten by a shark is between 2 and 3pm. Locations of shark attacks are most commonly within 6 feet of the surface and within 100 feet of the shore.
Proving that sharks aren’t singling out humans for attack, a polar bear’s jawbone was found in the stomach contents of a Greenland shark, answering the age-old question of which one of these deadly predators would win in a fight.
Well that’s a lot to chew on right there. Men should not surf in Florida or anywhere, for the next three months except Cape Town, between the hours of 2 and 3pm within 100 feet of the shore. Also, finally we have definitive answers on the Shark vs. Polar Bear debate that has gridlocked the brightest human minds for years. I’ll be trying to comfort Team Polar Bear’s co-captains Neil deGrasse Tyson and Malcolm Gladwell tonight.
More as the Fall of Great White Sharks gets underway.
Guess what jackwad, great white sharks will eat anything they can tear chunks out of, and I doubt they care much about what the sex of it’s victims are.. but maybe you prefer men to women? And great white sharks in the respective areas you’ve cited are the norm this time of year.. now maybe Woods Hole isn’t the brain trust it used to be given the PC culture that pervades, but Cape Cod, heck the entire New England coast is a great white shark nursery.. it’s where they go to give birth. The areas you mentioned on the west coast probably are as well. I know what I know from when Woods Hole actually educated instead of parroting useful and profitable to those who write checks, LIES. As to South African great whites, do you think this is the first time killer whales entered that coast and devoured and chased off large numbers of great whites? You’re so stupid it’s embarrassing
She gets her science from Breitbart.
Ikr lol
Please don’t call your opinion “Science.” It clearly isn’t even common sense.
It is a proven fact. Years of history and Great White shark bite patterns are definitive. I just don’t understand how you could see it any other way.
Probably because he’s a liberal & men can’t ever be more victimized than women….at anything!
People do realize this is a joke right? I mean it has to be a joke. There is no other explanation that doesn’t give me “The Brain Pain”
It’s simply science.
I seriously hope you didn’t get paid for writing this pos article.Grab your board and head out.
I have to admire those ocean swimmers, just plugging along. Some not good outcomes happen close to shore here. I like sitting up high on my board!!
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Hey! That’s not a very flattering portrait of Jebus’s mommy!
If we were living a few years ago you’d be burned at the stake for blasphemy!
MARTHA!!!
…or Arthur?
Chas smith you are such an idiot!!! Sharks don’t like humans at all. Everything you write is complete bs. The only reason why sharks don’t bite women is because they don’t like seals with hair.
You’re not so much different than our Mr. Smith here.
Yet u read it lol
Humans aren’t their favorite food, but sharks don’t turn their nose up at anything, they are all raw nerve and impulse. No matter what the oceanographic wads spew these days to make their line of business as profitable as possible. Sharks will bite and eat whatever they can tear chunks out of. Why do you think most shark attacks take place in 2-3 feet of water…
I totally agree that their conclusion is statistically incorrect due to the fact that more men frequent the water and more men surf. They are actually attracted more to surfers, who resemble seals.
The “surfers look like seals” hypothesis was officially abandoned in 2003. Sharks, in fact, enjoy the taste of surfers just not female surfers.
Exactly
James Hutchinson ignorant prick
You would think they would like the taste at least once a month when the string is a danglin’.
Omg ur making me lol funny
Just don’t ever try to light the string like a firecracker, that is a no- no, found that out the hard way .
Moronic clickbait. But kudos for putting “respected scientific journal” and the Daily Star in the same sentence. That’s a first.
Wrong. This has been known and studied for a very long time. Even when adjusted for more men in the water blah blah blah, sharks just don’t like women.
What a load of bollocks, inspired by a load of bollocks.
Get a proper job mate.
I, sir, am a surf journalist.
Ya, just leave the “journalist” part out of it please. You can be a writer though. Open up a reading club for sexist pricks.
Parth buddy, please keep your name calling to a minimum, we here my friend are not fans of that sort of behaviour
My apologies to you, lives in hope. But you, and your friends clearly are a fan of a misogynistic sort of behaviour. I’m so sorry that you have to take their side just because they’re your friends. You can keep that to a minimum, only if you choose.
I dated that girl in 1987. Shitshow.
Yeah. It’s telling me a few things;
-that I don’t need all of my right ear.
-that his beak is fucking long and jabby
-and wouldn’t I like a nice panicked spasmodic swerve into the path of a lovely motorcar?
Stop, stop, your making my ribs hurt😂😂😂
A very strange ICE AGE we live in ? Too much drives humans mad and too less wipes out polar bears …
chester, since we’re diving deep into moral arguments today, can we get an article on the Mets’ aggressive use of the shaka this season?:
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Those are the most aggressive shakas I’ve seen outside Santa Monica right there.
You know Chas, this article feels a bit like an investigatory byte to test the trigger sensitivity of the crew landing upon the Beach Grit shores as of late. Great Write?
Leave those Great Writes alone. People are idiots. Leave the animals ALONE!! It’s their home you’re visiting. Hope that helped a little.
I lost a lot of money betting on that fucking Bear.
Ha!
Pretty girls that lie and non stop fear, it’s like a horror movie posing as information.