Get ready for a war in New York!
While we were busy complaining about the lack of… fire in the booth at the Tahiti Pro Teahupoo presented by Hurley a rumble was cracking the very ground asunder all the way across the globe in Spain. A quake ripping the oldest sort of continually inhabited surfing apart at the seams. A fissure split wide for the world to see and, yes, this was all happening during the World Surf League’s revamped Longboard World Tour and I know you don’t care but you will now.
In a quiet move, the WSL tapped egg aficionado, and all-around stylish man, Devon Howard, to be commissioner of the tour, stretched from one event to four with stops in Noosa, Galicia, New York and Taiwan. The rules were also adjusted to reward the sort of longboarding we all enjoy-ish watching (traditional) as opposed to the sort of longboarding that mocks human development and common sense (high-performance).
And let us read from the rule book:
Article 70: The surfer must perform controlled maneuvers in the critical section of the wave utilizing the entire board and wave using traditional longboard surfing. The surfer who performs this to the highest degree of difficulty with the most style, flow, and grace will receive the highest score for a ride.
So, you know, noseriding, control, footwork and whatnot.
Well, the high-performance longboarders on tour are NOT HAPPY and one in their ranks, E. Delpero, became furious after losing to a traditional longboarder in Spain and let fly a series of middle-fingers at the judges, the cameras and, I must assume, the commentators.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B19gaR9nS3T/
This family feud packed its bags right up, wounds still festering, and is coming to New York this weekend where Hurricane Dorian will be there to greet them. What is more, the famous Joel Tudor is set to surf in the event, his first in years. He, you know, is the godfather of modern traditional longboarding and I have to think that the high-performance crew will be waiting for him at JFK airport with zip guns and bicycle chains. Come read the comments on Joel Tudor’s oft utilized Instagram.
How did longboarding become such den of intrigue? I honestly don’t know but will be watching when the New York event kicks off and if there is a fight in the water I will actually become a fan and stop throwing rocks at leashless longboards that wash up on the beach when I’m sunning after my normalboard surf.
I think mex took over production and the precusors are now very difficult to purchase for illegal uses. (haha that recipe you posted? somewhere here)
I used to love sneaking around back country places, haha..no more. Never know what kind of weird shit you stumble across. The whole cartel growing in the Nat Forests pisses me off tho. Not like take out your shit when done, just trash the place, poison the animals, send the herbs back east. We need national legalization bigtime. sorry about the rant.
https://www.latimes.com/env…
A casual board fling may have got me behind his cause but the electric board throw made me cringe. Then the spastic F.U., combined with a wetsuit and comp jersey, surely did not score any style points. A casual but highly perjorative hand shake (like the Italians or Spanish do) would have sufficed. If this guy surfs anything like how he gets mad, it’s no wonder he lost.
Wow, haha; that’s kinda funny.
What if the longboarder is a really good surfer, and really nice, and hasn’t lost his board in years, and the only reason he lost his board on that day was bc he let it go in order to administer cpr on a dolphin that got hit by a kook? Would you grab his board in that situation?
Some guys never stopped logging, and to some of them (most shortboard as well), the shortboarders and their “hot dog” style, in and out of the water, are the essence of kookery. To some extent, I agree: very few things in the surf world rival the sickness I feel when I see someone shittily riding a short board but acting like they’re ripping. I’d rather see a beginner on a longboard than a novice/intermediate on a SB. At the long boarder won’t be acting like they know how to surf. Sorry, I just realized I have a thing against overconfident surfers, aka, kooks.
WSL pulls the plug on the big wave tour and doubles down on hipsters?
Maybe Billy Kemper should go all Alex Knost to make a living?
Nightmare. You must have received a especially warm welcoming at fort point.
Cheers from Uganda brother
Give em death
Death maybe a little over the top , perhaps they could be required to paddle out once a week , as penance , on a 6’4” x 17” 3/4 90s banana rockered Slater inspired toothpick and be forced to wear one of those new fangled watches which would show them a great reduction in paddle speed and number of waves caught ……. NO THIS IS A SHIT IDEA …. Youth in Asia might be the answer after all … ( just kidding folks )
That’s seems about right. Though they might call it submarining out on a submersible.
Well overhead beach break should make for an exciting contest in NY.
Knew this was a story you would pick up Chas, it was about time…
Thanks SSD .In 10 days but it is a covert operation named CHE(e)Z- IT ,Le bon pain , vin rouge et fromage ,les vagues et des femmes nues à la plage , I’ll be deep undercover so I won’t have any contact with the outside world till October …… Full report on your desk pronto , when and if I make it back from the mission ….
The weather here on Friday might be a bit too wild to surf although Joel is in heat one so I will be there to watch if they do.
If Joel Jitsu’s anyone on the beach I will do my intrepid best to send Beach Grit the footage directly.
All the rats took their recipes and fled to the rest of cali. first, then the whole US and further!! LA San Berdoo, and the entire inland empire…. VTA, (Ojai,my troubled past)Santa Cruz, then north to Humbolt then on to Ore. Wash. Alaska etc And of course the Hawaii ice business got going using asian sources. Stuff migrated to midwest through the 90’s 2000’s. Seems like the cartels got it locked down now. Opiods have taken over as far as people dying and being insane in general,, but still no doubt a big segment of people are out there being tweakers. Heck Adderall is practically a vitamin in college towns. This is just from readings in newspapers etc, I’m sure its a complicated story.
I always thought there was a tie in with the enforcement of herb laws as well, people chased from growing pot, trying something else. Sometimes things that feel good arent really good for you!! Except surfing!! Church of the Beach
Thanks, I try!
I don’t get how any of this is possibly more commercially viable than a big wave event at Mavs.
The Cops only confiscated Cars ? Have the Angels of Hell lost their grip on the business ….. ? Was expecting a handful of WSL Harley Ds or is the Meth Business really breaking badly …. ?
Goodbye sunshine HELLO MOONSHINE …..
Yep, knee boards were much smaller , most bodyboarders were under 16 and the Surf Boats only ran you over in summer……but don’t forget the goat boat ?
Oh man… I was just thinking that yesterday…
High performance long boarding sux. This is another good wsl change!