Ruby-Lee, Ellie-Jean, Bonnie-Lou, Holly-Sue, David-Lee n me.
But where were you when you first heard the announcement that one-time president of the Oprah Winfrey Network, confidant of Oprah herself, Erik “ELo” Logan was ascending to the most powerful chair in organized professional surfing? To that mesh-backed Herman Miller Aeron Chair and not the price point one either. No, the $1395.00 one with adjustable Posturefit SL, fully adjustable arms and 2.5 inch roll-away resistant casters featuring Quiet Roll™ technology?
I was upstairs, reclining on a vintage chaise lounge working on edits for the next book Reports From Hell, out this June, when my phone buzzed then buzzed then buzzed again.
In truth, the news of ELo’s power consolidation was neither shocking nor particularly interesting. Longtom penned a gorgeous accounting of ex-WSL CEO Sophie Goldschmidt’s reign but, in my mind, the second Erik Logan waltzed through Santa Monica’s mahogany door he became the face of the brand.
And so I shrugged and yawned.
Boring with nothing new to report. The World Surf League will continue to transition from a professional surfing tour to a media company exactly like it has been doing all year long.
But yesterday, surrounded by surf history, across a fine office table from David Lee Scales, I lost my ever-loving mind about the whole matter and went on a completely sober-yet-wildly-unhinged 40 minute rant claiming ELo will never understand because he has never struggled with surfing, never wrestled with surfing, never been possessed and made mad by surfing.
Struggle? Wrestling? Surfing as some ecstatic torment?
What the hell was all that about?
And tell me, give me your honest opinion… is surfing a simple, empty slide along the waves, nothing more or less, or is it some cosmic battle, a grand mystical spirit quest through Eriador and the Wilderland all the way to the gates of Mordor?
What is it to you? Why are you here?
After ranting, I learned that the podcast’s sponsor, Manscaped.com, also sponsors the very famous Coffey Sisters.
The Coffey Sisters, David Lee and I are on the same team and for one brief moment I felt the unspeakable joy of being part of that illustrious family.
At the end, maybe that’s what this whole surfing life is all about. Ruby-Lee, Ellie-Jean, Bonnie-Lou, Holly-Sue, David-Lee n me.